Help To Uncover Her Dom Side

[MancMonkey]

So I think my wife has a dom side - recently in the bedroom she told me that she wanted to be in control of what was happening and I should be quiet.

I'd really like to find some ways for her to gently/slowly explore this side of her personality with me. I don't want to rush it as I don't want to scare her off by bringing home a whip / strap-on / corsets and chains...

Any suggestions?

If anyone knows of any good stories on Lit that explore those first forays into the dom side of a womans personality please share them. It's something we've done before many years ago (reading stories together in bed) and I think she'd be open to that again.

MM

 

[Stella_Omega]

Sounds a little bit to me as if she's already reading stories on her own.

You can encourage her by reacting with delight and enthusiasm when she does order you to do something. Tell her how much you love to hear that tone in her voice. Tell her she's your darling Mistress, and you'd love to do X-- if it pleases her.

And when she tells you to be quiet... do so.

 

[MancMonkey]

Thank you.

Will report back on progress.

Does anyone have any suggestions of good stories I could share with her?

 

[Kojote]

As I experience often around topics like this I feel the need to say:
Just tell her almost exactly what you told us here.

She did it. You liked it. Maybe she did like it, too.
So how about a little talking instead of exploring someone elses fantasies?
Make you own ones...

 

[IrisAlthea]

I agree with Stella and Kojote.

It's a good idea to take it easy with the whip / strap-on / corsets and chains unless you are very sure she would like it.
Feeling like someone is trying to turn you into their walking fetishdoll can be both irritating and a turn off.

 

[MancMonkey]

Ah yes that was my attempt at humour... sorry I'm not about to turn the bedroom into some kind of porno dungeon.

It was really just wanting to find a way for us to explore her feelings of control in a way that she can be comfortable and not freaked out.

I like the idea of encouraging and showing how much I like it when she does start to bring those ideas up herself.

Right now though her back is completely screwed up so no bedroom activity for a while, but a good chance for me to see to her every need.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Ah yes that was my attempt at humour... sorry I'm not about to turn the bedroom into some kind of porno dungeon.

It was really just wanting to find a way for us to explore her feelings of control in a way that she can be comfortable and not freaked out.

I like the idea of encouraging and showing how much I like it when she does start to bring those ideas up herself.

Right now though her back is completely screwed up so no bedroom activity for a while, but a good chance for me to see to her every need.

Yeah, I did take it as humour, but I'm sure there are others lurking with the same question and I wanted to stress the point...

 

[Netzach]

Flirt. On her terms and in the language of her being in charge. Engage her interest in being in charge. Please Miss and Thank You Miss. If you can do this in a charming way and not an irritating way that makes her feel like she now has a task to do you're on your way.

 

[Kojote]

Flirt. On her terms and in the language of her being in charge. Engage her interest in being in charge. Please Miss and Thank You Miss. If you can do this in a charming way and not an irritating way that makes her feel like she now has a task to do you're on your way.

Oh that's a good one!
Especially combined with this:

Right now though her back is completely screwed up so no bedroom activity for a while, but a good chance for me to see to her every need.

You can act it out long enough to make clear that it isn't only a little joke and check on her every reaction all the while you have a plausible reason for being servile.

I'd still just sit down and talk about it, but I'm the total talker and have to discuss almost everything unclear...

 

[Netzach]

Yeah, I can't speak for every Domme and I know that some like a very controlled and almost robotic kind of boy, but for me - I like to feel sexual control, but that doesn't mean I like someone to be totally sexually passive. I need to be inspired and seduced, and I think this is a fine art that a lot of sub-identified guys miss.

I get that part of the demands of masculinity and the appeal of submission is a chance to FINALLY be the one being "done" in some way, but you have to maintain good rules of engagement and charm.

 

[MancMonkey]

Thanks again for the advice.

We had a talk, not my idea but she walked in on me checking this thread, I panicked(sp?) shoved my phone in my pocket and went bright red... so I had to come clean. I would have preferred to wait until her back was better to talk about it.

It was a good discussion, she thought I was a bit daft for being so secretive about it. But she is keen to take things forwards when the back is better.

Unfortunately thats probably a couple of weeks away..