Help on 'Fetish Night'

[Ms_Black]

So I have a question for all of the more experienced sceners, and it is rather complicated.

A group of friends and I just recently got off our butts and started to try and organize an active BDSM group after years of searching for one in our area. Much to our surprise, only shortly after we went public with a website and egroup, another group contacted us saying they had been in the area for years.

I explained that I hadn't meant to step on any toes but that I had no intention of backing down because I had already set up several events including a weekly fetish night at a local bar, permission to hang flyers and put out business cards in several areas, and an offer to go on air with one of the edgier Radio Stations to promote the group and defend the BDSM lifestyle.

Now all of this is just background.

While speaking to the other group's organizer I was rigorously questioned as to what our Fetish Night would entail. Having only been to one club's fetish night I admitted that I expected it to primarily be a time for people to come dressed and to do some LIGHT play that had been condoned by the club owner. This might have been the wrong answer.

So my question is...what does a "Fetish Night" usually entail. Is it usually more like a play party, or a sex club? I'm really quite confused. But as I said, I've only attended one club's fetish night...so maybe my view is slanted. I have no doubt that the club owner would let us do anything that wasn't illegal in our town (he hosts several "alternative shows" in his club) I just can't figure out what it is I'm supposed to be asking.

Anyway, any help I could get with this would be great.

Ms. B

 

[Netzach]

Demos are good. Make sure all the bits are covered that need to be covered, but a demonstration done by people who are good at something is both hot and educational. Keep it light, waxing is good, piercing is ok in some venues but rope off the area to keep random people at bay. I had my back tension laced as a demo in a club, and nobody freaked out heavily, then again, no one got THAT close to the needles. Floggings/beatings are difficult for people to handle/boring unless you have a flogger with serious finesse. Canings...same.

Print signs/fliers with BASIC courtesy rules and plaster those puppies all over at the bar. No cameras, keep a safe distance from the demo, ask permission to touch stuff/people...it helps. It gives you leverage if you need to toss someone.

There's nothing wrong with keeping everything bone assed simple and saying "it's a leather/levi/rubber night" and let dress and presentation take the fore. Stand, model, and screw the naysayers.

 

[Seattle Zack]

It depends a lot on the laws in your local area ... if the club serves alcohol, then there are some pretty definite guidelines about what is and isn't allowed. On nightclub here in Seattle had their fetish night cancelled due to local liquor inspectors (too many exposed nipples, for one thing, and the whipping rack in the back room was a definite no-no).

If it's a private (invitation- or membership-only) gathering then the activities allowed are more liberal, but our BDSM club here in Seattle has a lengthy consent form that must be signed by everyone attending the play parties. Almost anything goes at the play parties, up to and including public sex, but no alcohol is served.

Some states have pretty stringent laws -- In Mass., for instance, even "consentual" assault (their term -- they mean activities like flogging or spanking) is against the law.

Another nightclub here in Seattle does a regular fetish night, but it's mainly an opportunity for people to wear outrageous outfits, no play of any kind is allowed.

My advice is check with the club owner about specifics about what is and isn't allowed ... then make sure the attendees know that in no uncertain terms. Then have fun.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I would support primarily checking local laws and the needs of those attending. I think from my own personal experience when starting a group (not BSDSM) and going through a similar experience as you (though the nay sayers were not claiming to have a current group going as they deemed it impossible to do...happy to say I continued and the group flourished for years), you will often find their interrogation tactics are meant to unsettle you and scare you away and are based on their own insecurities and jealousies, not your ability to provide a safe and happy space for like minded people.

Another idea is not to be forced into thinking your club has to be a duplicate of others. Often people are tired of the same old thing and welcome a little innovation and creativity that steps away from the expected format. Think positive, believe in your ability, remember it has already drawn wide interest, and construct it according to what makes you and the members happy, not the ones who sit on the sidelines and offer nothing but doom and gloom. Have fun and good luck.

Catalina http://users.telenet.be/eforum/emoticons4u/party/bellyemoticon.gif

 

[Ms_Black]

Thanks everyone, I appreciate your answers. As you can imagine I was a bit panicked when the other group starting quizzing me on the plans. I felt like maybe I was a bit too much of a rookie to pull this off.

I think we're going to start slow, do just fetish dress while we look at the laws a little more closely and then try to open it up to 'performances' and such

Thanks again

Ms. B

 

[ethereal~minx]

....our BDSM club here in Seattle has a lengthy consent form that must be signed by everyone attending the play parties. Almost anything goes at the play parties, up to and including public sex, but no alcohol is served.
....

is it private? is this a stupid question? need I say I'm clueless?