Help me select a rubber guard-snake

[shereads]

Ever since I retired the rubber coral snake that used to guard my driveway, things have been happening. Coincidence? Obviously not.

A quick Google for Rubber Snakes brought up too many choices, so I've narrowed it down to one site and the few snakes whose descriptions I most enjoyed reading.

Purpose of snake: encourage car-breakers, chainsaw vagrants and Jehovah's witnesses to visit someone else's house. The snake's usual post will be the driveway and carport, behind a locked wooden gate, where a security light will make him visible to persons who have climbed the gate and are preparing to leap down onto the gravel below. If you think that's not scary enough, it's because you aren't climbing a fence in the dark to break into a 1991 Honda. The neighbors' cars are nicer and their driveways are snake-free.

On a whim, and when I'm away from home for a few days at a time, the snake will be assigned to patrol the front walkway.

Your input will be appreciated. I had no idea the rubber-snake industry had been so busy since the last time I looked.

Poll will be posted asap.

 

[shereads]

Dammit, it posted without the snake poll! No wonder I'm technophobic.

 

[cantdog]

I stand ready to select snakes, though, dammit. Post a second time, and you will find us vigilant and discerning snake-choosing muthafuckas just coiled and ready.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Ever since I retired the rubber coral snake that used to guard my driveway, things have been happening. Coincidence? Obviously not.

A quick Google for Rubber Snakes brought up too many choices, so I've narrowed it down to one site and the few snakes whose descriptions I most enjoyed reading.

Purpose of snake: encourage car-breakers, chainsaw vagrants and Jehovah's witnesses to visit someone else's house. The snake's usual post will be the driveway and carport, behind a locked wooden gate, where a security light will make him visible to persons who have climbed the gate and are preparing to leap down onto the gravel below. If you think that's not scary enough, it's because you aren't climbing a fence in the dark to break into a 1991 Honda. The neighbors' cars are nicer and their driveways are snake-free.

On a whim, and when I'm away from home for a few days at a time, the snake will be assigned to patrol the front walkway.

Your input will be appreciated. I had no idea the rubber-snake industry had been so busy since the last time I looked.

Poll will be posted asap.

That's the most clever thing I've heard in years! I want one too! My car has just been broken into AGAIN - come to think of it, since I can't lock the door anymore, I'm not sure I even HAVE a car left in the parking lot...