Help me make my fiance a proper slave.

[Robo75]

So here's the story...

Met an amazing woman, fell in love on sight and have been together ever since. So the sex is GREAT! haha. However, as we move forward I find that I like to be in charge and she has responded very well to that need. So how do I take that next step with her and I being in a master/slave relationship?

Due to our jobs and personal lives, it is not realistic for us to be master/slave in public. In the bedroom, however, she naturally submits to me. I find that I really like this. During "sex time" haha, I spank her as I please (quite hard in fact). She has brought me a riding crop to use on her as I see fit. She'll lick and suck anything I want her too, take it anywhere I want to. She is a very good partner, so I AM happy.

I want to go further, it would please me if she wore a collar of some sort, I'd like to try watersports ( Me to her-I'm the master remember , and I want her to suck cock on command. She is usually willing to suck me, but not on command. Also she doesn't want to suck me in the car, which I would like to have done. Basically, how do we go from what I described to a situation where she knows what her role is (regarding "sex time" and will embrace it fully.

Any advice and thoughts you have would be appreciated. It would be swell if guys and gals would respond as I would love to read responses from both sides on this.

The man, the myth, the legend

 

[CutieMouse]

Does your fiance *want* to be a "proper slave"?
Have you discussed your interest in "progressing things further"/etc?
What are her desires re: your sex life and its development?

The "impossible to be Master/slave in public" comment - really? It's impossible to show the world her place as a loving attentive wife (only the two of you knowing she is your slave)? 24/7 Master/slave isn't about being naked in chains all day long sucking things... it's about the relationship the people involve create for themselves.

 

[Robo75]

I believe she MAY be willing. I want to broach the subject with her, but am not sure how to proceed. As far as in public, I'm not sure the master/slave game is something that I want to define our relationship. Rather, I would like it to be more of a roleplaying game that we play together in pvt. Hence the collar, I was thinking that would be a good way for us to get into our roles. I suppose roles, isn't the word i am looking for as we are not pretending to be someone else.

As I said before, the state of the relationship is strong. lol, but this way it could be just superb. I haven't talked to her about it, but I have inferred that she may be willing by the way she acts and in the bedroom and out.



Also, I don't wan't her to be in chains all day long and sucking things. haha. At least not ALL day.

 

[JMohegan]

So here's the story...

Met an amazing woman, fell in love on sight and have been together ever since. So the sex is GREAT! haha. However, as we move forward I find that I like to be in charge and she has responded very well to that need. So how do I take that next step with her and I being in a master/slave relationship?

Due to our jobs and personal lives, it is not realistic for us to be master/slave in public. In the bedroom, however, she naturally submits to me. I find that I really like this. During "sex time" haha, I spank her as I please (quite hard in fact). She has brought me a riding crop to use on her as I see fit. She'll lick and suck anything I want her too, take it anywhere I want to. She is a very good partner, so I AM happy.

I want to go further, it would please me if she wore a collar of some sort, I'd like to try watersports ( Me to her-I'm the master remember , and I want her to suck cock on command. She is usually willing to suck me, but not on command. Also she doesn't want to suck me in the car, which I would like to have done. Basically, how do we go from what I described to a situation where she knows what her role is (regarding "sex time" and will embrace it fully.

Any advice and thoughts you have would be appreciated. It would be swell if guys and gals would respond as I would love to read responses from both sides on this.

The man, the myth, the legend

My advice is to ditch the labels and tell her, in tangible terms and as specifically as possible, what you want.

For example, it sounds like you want to be in charge of what happens during "sex time," and you also want to be in charge of when and where "sex time" takes place. So you tell her exactly that.

In essence, you'd like to establish a deal in which she trusts you not to order her to do something goofy like drop & blow in front of her mother, and you trust her to obey even when she's not necessarily in the mood or is mildly uncomfortable, embarrassed, whatever. Right? If so, tell her exactly that also.

Once you both understand and commit to the deal, then if it turns you on to call her a slave and yourself master, go right ahead. But don't lead with the label, because it has no recognizable, universal meaning anyway, and will therefore just confuse things.

 

[intothewoods]

I would also add that there's more than one way to get the end result that you want. Take a look at what makes both of you tick, and see if you can find a common ground where you can take things to the next level.

Maybe she's competitive, and would enjoy it if you gave her some reward each time she blows you in the car on command. Or maybe you could pay her a buck for each blow job - it's taboo and humiliation - a twofer! I'm just throwing out goofy ideas, but my point is that if you have someone who is game for the kinky stuff and you have a strong relationship in other areas, you can build on that to get what you want. Do be clear about what you need from a sexual relationship. I think women -- submissive or not -- appreciate that.

 

[subwannabe]

She seems pretty open so I would try the frontal approach with her, as in talking about it with her. I don't think you'll scare her away if she doesn't have an interest in going that far. I would take this route instead of trying to figure out a way to get her into the mindset. I do think you need to go into it hoping for the best (which is very possible) but being able to accept keeping things just the way they are now.

 

[wisk]

I believe she MAY be willing. I want to broach the subject with her, but am not sure how to proceed. As far as in public, I'm not sure the master/slave game is something that I want to define our relationship. Rather, I would like it to be more of a roleplaying game that we play together in pvt. Hence the collar, I was thinking that would be a good way for us to get into our roles. I suppose roles, isn't the word i am looking for as we are not pretending to be someone else.

As I said before, the state of the relationship is strong. lol, but this way it could be just superb. I haven't talked to her about it, but I have inferred that she may be willing by the way she acts and in the bedroom and out.



Also, I don't wan't her to be in chains all day long and sucking things. haha. At least not ALL day.

Finding a suitable sub for your own style is hardwork and I think finding a suitable sub in an exsisting relationship must be doubly so. If you have this then know you are very fortunate.
You will need to spend time talking with her get to know her and listen encorage her to talk to you and again listen to what she tells you and what she doesn't. To be successful you must understand and know her.
Some subs enjoy collars and also like a sub name as this will end confussion of when you expect them to be sub or what role they are in.
subs by nature like to please and whilst being attentive also can crave attention even if that is you dening or ignoring them but they will all want to know they please you.remember this is not just about what you want the sub ultimatley has the power and control, they can say no ignore that in an exsisting relationship and you head for trouble. Good luck

 

[MasterPhoenix]

I believe she MAY be willing. I want to broach the subject with her, but am not sure how to proceed. As far as in public, I'm not sure the master/slave game is something that I want to define our relationship. Rather, I would like it to be more of a roleplaying game that we play together in pvt. Hence the collar, I was thinking that would be a good way for us to get into our roles. I suppose roles, isn't the word i am looking for as we are not pretending to be someone else.

As I said before, the state of the relationship is strong. lol, but this way it could be just superb. I haven't talked to her about it, but I have inferred that she may be willing by the way she acts and in the bedroom and out.



Also, I don't wan't her to be in chains all day long and sucking things. haha. At least not ALL day.

Talk to her about what you want.

 

[DVS]

Maybe she doesn't want to blow you in the car because she sees that as similar to talking or texting while driving. She's in that car too, and maybe she doesn't want to be doing such a good job blowing you and have that cause you to lose control of the car and hurt somebody. It makes sense to me.

Like others have suggested...talk to her. Let her know what you would want in a relationship. If she doesn't want the same things, don't consider the relationship dead. You don't always get what you want, just because you're the Dom. Submissives are people, too.

 

[unregistered]

 

[neci]

for some reason every time i look at the title of this thread i read, "Help me finance a proper slave."

 

[neci]

Maybe she doesn't want to blow you in the car because she sees that as similar to talking or texting while driving. She's in that car too, and maybe she doesn't want to be doing such a good job blowing you and have that cause you to lose control of the car and hurt somebody. It makes sense to me.

Like others have suggested...talk to her. Let her know what you would want in a relationship. If she doesn't want the same things, don't consider the relationship dead. You don't always get what you want, just because you're the Dom. Submissives are people, too.

i'm not allowed to give blow jobs while He's driving. something about public safety. blah blah blah.
*pout*

 

[midwestyankee]

for some reason every time i look at the title of this thread i read, "Help me finance a proper slave."

I would suggest staying away from using any bank in Iceland for this kind of venture as the need for liquidity is exceptionally important.

 

[neci]

I would suggest staying away from using any bank in Iceland for this kind of venture as the need for liquidity is exceptionally important.

liquidity is - in my opinion - very important for a proper slave.

 

[sb2009]

1. I'm not allowed to give blowjpobs while driving either, after the incident with the cop who said "put your junk back in your pants, sir"

2. I thought ht was "finance" too LOL

 

[unregistered]

 

[midwestyankee]

liquidity is - in my opinion - very important for a proper slave.

I think that to be a proper slave, a woman ought to be capable of becoming liquid on command. Or at least reasonably moist, like with a CD or T-Bill.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

She bought you a riding crop. She's smiling agreeably as you blister her ass and stride the bedroom like a colossus. You're engaged. Listen to me: you can have this talk.

Barring that, secretly sub out the ring at the wedding ceremony for a collar. Trust me, she'll love that.

 

[sb2009]

yanno...Deepgreepeyes has alot ot say,hs'e spretty samrt.

 

[midwestyankee]

yanno...Deepgreepeyes has alot ot say,hs'e spretty samrt.

Are we drubnk posting from the new snowbelt?

 

[ImOnIt]

i'm not allowed to give blow jobs while He's driving. something about public safety. blah blah blah.
*pout*

This is a fair ruling. I for one nearly hit a barrier at 110k/hr when taken by suprise from a very slight to suddenly intense blowie on the motorway.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

yanno...Deepgreepeyes has alot ot say,hs'e spretty samrt.

Come back, Samantha. Don't go toward the light.

 

[graceanne]

Are we drubnk posting from the new snowbelt?

Exactly what I was thinking!

Come back, Samantha. Don't go toward the light.

But that's where all the fun is!

 

[FurryFury]

This is a fair ruling. I for one nearly hit a barrier at 110k/hr when taken by suprise from a very slight to suddenly intense blowie on the motorway.

There ought to be a special blow job only road.

 

[FurryFury]

for some reason every time i look at the title of this thread i read, "Help me finance a proper slave."

Me too and still I clicked, WTF?