Help..... I'm UNromantic

[huskie]

I don't have romantic bone in my body...... If I have ever done or said anything romantic, I'm unawear of it. I know its all in a frame of mind and thought. any advise to change or improve this mind set??

I think (other than scrapbooking) this is what my wife wants?? so I'm willing to give this Romantic stuff a try.......

 

[SexyChele]

Aww...Huskie, don't fret. Romance is not that hard of a thing to learn to do. And I would say there are a lot of guys out there in the same boat with you as well. Heck, there are even some women, too!

As far as being romanced, for me it's the little things. Yes, being taken out to a romantic restaurant, with flowers, and some guy floating around with a violin can be nice - but not necessary. When you get home, have a single rose with you - and let her know you were thinking of her. Send her a romantic card, just for the heck of it. Try to arrange time for just the two of you - put the kiddie to bed (or to the grandparents), buy a good bottle of wine, shut off the TV, and just snuggle and talk.

The idea behind romance is letting your wife know you thought of her and that she is the one you want to be with. The idea that you want to spend time with her, and only her. With sex, or without.

There are hundreds of ways for a man to show a woman he loves her and wants only her. You are only hindered by your imagination!

Good luck!

 

[vffan]

I agree 100% with SexyChele...

you are limited only by your imagination...

some ideas?

Go out on a date
bring her flowers
get rid of the kids and bring her breakfast in bed the next day
give her a massage after a long day

hell, I'd be happy if my husband even did one of these

J

 

[huskie]

I agree 100% with SexyChele...

you are limited only by your imagination...

some ideas?

Go out on a date
bring her flowers
get rid of the kids and bring her breakfast in bed the next day
give her a massage after a long day

hell, I'd be happy if my husband even did one of these

J

can't go out with out the baby due to lack of baby sitter.

Bring her flowers? ok.... last time i did that she said I could have got them cheaper at Food Lion??

I can't cook and like I said I can't get rid of the kid.

I give her massages......???? I'll keep it up though....

give me some more!!!!

 

[Weird Harold]

The idea behind romance is letting your wife know you thought of her and that she is the one you want to be with. The idea that you want to spend time with her, and only her. With sex, or without.

There are hundreds of ways for a man to show a woman he loves her and wants only her. You are only hindered by your imagination!

I'm not sure "romance" can be learned, and from the wife's comment about the flowers, I'd say that it's not only men who suffer from a lack of romance.

However, Romance can be simulated by reverting to some archaic rules of manners.

Depending on the woman, something as simple as holding the car door or a chair will be seen as "romantic." Buying a corsage for a "night out" dancing or fine dining might be "romantic." These are just good manners by the standards of the Victorian age, but today are seen as "romantic gestures."

Candlelight is automatically romantic (unless the power is out, then it's just scary.)

Just be yourself with a healthy dose of archaic manners, and you'll be seen as "romantic" whether you really are or not.

 

[vffan]

Okay...

May I ask how old the baby is?

Does your wife work?


J

 

[Skitten]

If the baby is young, once the baby is in bed run a bath for her lite some candles. Bring her some wine to relax with. You may not be able to cook, but you can order something nice for you two and she doesn't have to for an evening have candles on the table and just talk and enjoy one another.

Being romantic can be fun plan something it may make you feel as good as it will surprise her have fun and good-luck.

 

[hotNnasty]

How was it before you got married?

 

[Lust Engine]

Equate romance to just by being thoughtful.

It's a mindset and not neccesarily a deed or an object. How do you feel when you do something special for the SO? Does it make you want to do it again? Find out what makes the SO coo and go ahead and try those things.

And HnN has a really good point- how did you win the wife over anyway??

 

[Hairgrip]

I love recieving little notes - nothing major, just to say 'hi' or 'i love you'. Text messages at unexpected times. Putting out the rubish and doing the dishes with out being asked is also a quick way to my heart!
Hx

 

[hotNnasty]

And HnN has a really good point- how did you win the wife over anyway??

*blushes thank you darlin'*
I really wish he'd tell us. It would sure help.





Trollin LE

 

[huskie]

Okay...

May I ask how old the baby is?

Does your wife work?


J

4 1/2 daughter. Extremely spoiled yet very cute.

yes. she works an 8 to 5 like myself. behind a computer.

 

[huskie]

How was it before you got married?

better....... she acted like she wanted me more for sure! We did more things together and seemed to enjoy more of the same stuff?? We hardly ever agree on the TV shows we want to watch now??

 

[huskie]

Equate romance to just by being thoughtful.

It's a mindset and not neccesarily a deed or an object. How do you feel when you do something special for the SO? Does it make you want to do it again? Find out what makes the SO coo and go ahead and try those things.

And HnN has a really good point- how did you win the wife over anyway??

how did i win her??? just being myself I think?? I'm some what of a smart ass...... I do work hard.... Oh, she thinks I'm cute too! and I'm pretty good with kids.... I think this is what she noticed most..... but I WILL go back and ask her. Make her tell me the truth.

 

[vffan]

Hmmm,

Maybe a note in her lunch?

A phone call just to say I love you?

Maybe send her flowers at work anon?

Or, you could just sit down and ask her what she thinks is romantic and do that

J

 

[SexyChele]

Huskie, I have to ask - no babysitter at all? Not a close friend? No close neighbor you trust? A trusted co-worker? I am a single woman, and there have been several times when I've taken kids for an evening, or a weekend, when I know mom and dad need a break. And I do know that mom and dad worried the first time I had their little kiddies, so I usually make it only an afternoon thing.

You might want to consider asking around, see what other people might do. I'm not saying to leave your daughter with just anyone, no, not at all! But somewhere amongst your friends, co-workers, neighbors you may be surprised to find some one who is willing to give you both a break. Make it only for a couple of hours at first - both you and your wife will be a little worried, and it gives the person(s) taking care of your child a chance to get to know her. I know that the families I watch kids for now, hardly think of it when I stop to pick up their kids for the weekend. Heck, I know more pediatricians and emergency numbers than anyone I know! (And, I've never had to use any of them, either! )

Truly, when it can be just you and your wife - if only for a couple of hours - you can both try to "reconnect" romantically.

But HnN did have a good point - use what you did when you first wooed your wife. Sometimes ya gotta go backwards to move ahead.

Good luck - I know you've been struggling with this for a while now!

 

[huskie]

My mother in law will watch her highness every now and then. But normaly for when My wife wants to go off and scrapbook.

Thank you all for your help. I WILL try all the above that I haven't already done so.

 

[marksgirl]

Start with the small things and led up to the larger as to get a feel for it and see where it takes you, she may just love the attention and put the scrapbooks on the shelf!

 

[soileddove]

My boyfriend can be the most unromantic guy on the planet sometimes but then he does little things that remind me he does care.
He will leave notes in the pocket of the clothes I am going to wear that say "have a good day" or "smile I'm thinking of you"
And like it was said previously if he takes out the trash without me having to bug him it makes me smile.
I don't know if all of a sudden he started doing really romantic things how I would react. I would probably die of shock, lol.
I do appreciate the little things and the most important thing is that when he does do something it makes me smile and feel good.
Sometimes its the little things that count.