Hello.

[Nathon_88]

Some of you allready know me...*chuckles*

I'm in the odd position of wanting to be a caring Master for a lovely sub.

The odd part comes from the fact that, while I do want to dominate them, I want to cuddle at times as well..

I need help! Masters, Subs, please tell me how you deal with this seemingly conflicting turbencent conflict?

PM or write in here....also, what is a good time for collars?

 

[MissTaken]

Wow!

Welcome, Nathan! It is so good to see you here!

*hugs*

Domination is what you desire and how you desire it. Many Dominants are very affectionate and good cuddlers.

Demonstrating affection in a BDSM relationship isn't all about whips and chains, certainly, those hugs and kisses are equally as important to many, and it sounds like they are important to you.

Collaring?

I will defer for now. However, it is yet another issue that you need to determine how you view collaring and then it depends on the individuals involved.

Welcome, once again!

 

[Ebonyfire]

Some of you allready know me...*chuckles*

I'm in the odd position of wanting to be a caring Master for a lovely sub.

The odd part comes from the fact that, while I do want to dominate them, I want to cuddle at times as well..

I need help! Masters, Subs, please tell me how you deal with this seemingly conflicting turbencent conflict?

PM or write in here....also, what is a good time for collars?

Ain't a thing wrong with being tender. Who said it was? You have to go with your own personality, your needs, and the needs of your sub.

 

[bunny bondage]

The odd part comes from the fact that, while I do want to dominate them, I want to cuddle at times as well..

I need help! Masters, Subs, please tell me how you deal with this seemingly conflicting turbencent conflict?

conflicting? BAH! if He didn't cuddle with me on a very regular basis, i'd boot Him out the door so fast He'd travel backwards in time! the dom i'm with MUST be down with snuggling. so while i enjoy the feeling of His belt raining down blows on my skin, His hands gripping fistfulls of my hair, His voice softly commanding me to my knees, i simply must be held and petted. luckily, He loves giving affection and requires just as much cuddle-time as i do. a D/s relationship has the capability to be very loving, and honestly, i think the most healthy ones are.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Hello.

a D/s relationship has the capability to be very loving, and honestly, i think the most healthy ones are.

I disagree, but then I am not the snuggle bunny you are.

Healthy relationships come from healthy people. Not how much you snuggle.

 

[bunny bondage]

Re: Re: Re: Hello.

I disagree, but then I am not the snuggle bunny you are.

Healthy relationships come from healthy people. Not how much you snuggle.

lol! "snuggle bunny" ^_^

i didn't mean to imply that "loving" is only defined by cuddling, just that cuddling could be a part of loving.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Hello.

lol! "snuggle bunny" ^_^

i didn't mean to imply that "loving" is only defined by cuddling, just that cuddling could be a part of loving.

I love your name!

 

[Pixie Mischief]

Nothing wrong with cuddling!!!
hehe me and my bf love to cuddle after sex or before sleep.
Cuddling rocks. Especially after passionate fucking hehe
just being in his arms mmm holding me hehe wonderful.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Hello.

I love your screen name!

 

[bunny bondage]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Hello.

I love your screen name!

heh, thanks! i came up with it for the lit chatroom, originally, and it wasn't until about a year later that i finally got around to registering over here, and the name just stuck! ^_^

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Hello.

heh, thanks! i came up with it for the lit chatroom, originally, and it wasn't until about a year later that i finally got around to registering over here, and the name just stuck! ^_^

You are indeed a hunny bunny! Ok, hijack over!

 

[lark sparrow]

Some of you allready know me...*chuckles*

I'm in the odd position of wanting to be a caring Master for a lovely sub.

The odd part comes from the fact that, while I do want to dominate them, I want to cuddle at times as well..

I need help! Masters, Subs, please tell me how you deal with this seemingly conflicting turbencent conflict?

PM or write in here....also, what is a good time for collars?

Adding another voice to the majority here. Dominating/being sadistic and cuddling/caring need not conflict in a BDSM relationship. I think most of us like/need cuddles and caring. There is no conflict between the two at all in my relationship.

Do you feel conflicted on a personal level or simply in your current understanding of what BDSM should be, and what you want?

Some people choose the route of keeping their BDSM relationhips and romantic relationships separate. As in a sub serving their Mistress/Master part-time or occasionally, and having a S.O. in a primary, vanilla relationship.

As for collaring, it depends on how seriously one takes it. Some hold it in the commitment level of marriage or above and beyond.

 

[Nathon_88]

Re: Re: Hello.

Adding another voice to the majority here. Dominating/being sadistic and cuddling/caring need not conflict in a BDSM relationship. I think most of us like/need cuddles and caring. There is no conflict between the two at all in my relationship.

Do you feel conflicted on a personal level or simply in your current understanding of what BDSM should be, and what you want?

Some people choose the route of keeping their BDSM relationhips and romantic relationships separate. As in a sub serving their Mistress/Master part-time or occasionally, and having a S.O. in a primary, vanilla relationship.

As for collaring, it depends on how seriously one takes it. Some hold it in the commitment level of marriage or above and beyond.

Just in my personal understanding right now....which seems to be open to change to this more....humane line of thinking.

Thank you all for your time, even the hijack bunnies.

 

[lark sparrow]

Re: Re: Re: Hello.

Just in my personal understanding right now....which seems to be open to change to this more....humane line of thinking.

Thank you all for your time, even the hijack bunnies.

Glad to hear that, Nathan. It really can be whatever you make of it, and I think you will find as a Dominant that your partner will very much appreciate cuddles and caring within your domination.

 

[Nathon_88]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Hello.

Glad to hear that, Nathan. It really can be whatever you make of it, and I think you will find as a Dominant that your partner will very much appreciate cuddles and caring within your domination.

Well good....now....does anyone know of a good book regarding BSDM from a love perspective?

*chuckles* There are times I want a how to manual for life.

 

[lark sparrow]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Hello.

Well good....now....does anyone know of a good book regarding BSDM from a love perspective?

*chuckles* There are times I want a how to manual for life.

How about http://www.stockroom.com/a524.htm


Check out the library here or use the search function for more literature links.

 

[MissTaken]

I think you sound like aperfect master. You have to have a balance. Besides cuddling is always a good reward.


valcorie

I brought this to you as Valcorie posted a new thread, rather than a new post.

 

[Richard49]

Some of you allready know me...*chuckles*

I'm in the odd position of wanting to be a caring Master for a lovely sub.

The odd part comes from the fact that, while I do want to dominate them, I want to cuddle at times as well..

I need help! Masters, Subs, please tell me how you deal with this seemingly conflicting turbencent conflict?

PM or write in here....also, what is a good time for collars?

I do not see a conflict here
What have I missed?

 

[Pixie Mischief]

Re: Re: Hello.

I do not see a conflict here
What have I missed?

thats what I wonder also.

 

[Nathon_88]

Re: Re: Re: Hello.

thats what I wonder also.

A lack of true understanding of the process.....Thanks for the book link, does anyone know of a FREE site that would help me?

(Too poor to afford a book right now)

 

[Pixie Mischief]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Hello.

A lack of true understanding of the process.....Thanks for the book link, does anyone know of a FREE site that would help me?

(Too poor to afford a book right now)

well you never learn unless you ask question hehe

 

[lark sparrow]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Hello.

A lack of true understanding of the process.....Thanks for the book link, does anyone know of a FREE site that would help me?

(Too poor to afford a book right now)

Check in NemoAlia's Library Thread near the top of the forum thread list.

There is also a search function at the very bottom right hand corner of the forum - if you do a search you will find the forum is full of excellent (free) online BDSM website links.

You can also do an internet search.

 

[Nathon_88]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Hello.

Check in NemoAlia's Library Thread near the top of the forum thread list.

There is also a search function at the very bottom right hand corner of the forum - if you do a search you will find the forum is full of excellent (free) online BDSM website links.

You can also do an internet search.

Thank you all VERY much!

 

[Shadowsdream]

welcome to a wonderland of "human resourses"..information and friendship...
...collaring...should be thrown out of Your thought processes..in My opinion..until You have been on this journey for at least a year.
Your perceptions will change and change and change as You grow and find the playstyle/ lifestyle/ love/style that will be unique for You.
With the collaring thought in Your mind at the beginning of the journey there is a danger that it is seen as a goal.
Collaring is ONE of the very last steps in a long term stable relationship that W/we hope will last a lifetime.
"velcro collars" in My opinion...ñever~

 

[NemoAlia]

Nathon, your question about collars sparked a Library update. I did some searching, and added two links to the "Collars" section, bringing the grand total up to four:

Pictures of collars begun by ShyGuy68 on 03-02-2002
OK , I have a question.......... begun by Wizard on 03-02-2002
Do all Dom/mes collar? begun by VixenShe on 12-15-2002
collar of Consideration, Training collar, final or slave collar begun by Writer Dom on 12-05-2002

I hope that you find some of what you're looking for in these threads!