Hello! Newbie alert!

[fireandice]

Well...after about a year of lurking here unregistered I have finally taken the Lit plunge! My Lit goal for this year was to write a story, but everytime I sit down to try I am entirely overwhelmed with shyness. I thought maybe if I came out of the closet as it were I might feel more pressure to get it done!!

So hi from a Lit Author wannabe!

Don't hurt me tooo much please!

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Welcome to the AH, we may be gentle, but don't count on it....

 

[cloudy]

Welcome to the AH!

No reason to be shy...we won't bite, unless you want us to.

 

[Guest]

Welcome, Fireandice!

Congrats on de-lurking - that's one small step. The biggie is to get your first story up.

I'm good at encouragement (read that as nagging ), so, I'll be on your case until you do.

If you've been lurking for a year, you know who the crazies are, so you need no pre-warning.

Lou

 

[Guest]

 

[fireandice]

Nibbling is definitely okay, Cloudy! *grins*

Yes Ms Lou...I know you're one of the crazy ones! *ducks and runs*

Wow, thanks all for the fast welcome! I feel so at home already!

 

[neonlyte]

Welcome from me, and goodbye for now (see else where)

I hate to miss out on a newbie. There is a newbie evaluation kit lurking on the 4th..5th.. nth page, you might find it useful.

Watch out for Ruminator, he's already screwed up twice tonight and might just try his luck with a newbie

 

[Guest]

Nibbling is definitely okay, Cloudy! *grins*

Yes Ms Lou...I know you're one of the crazy ones! *ducks and runs*

Wow, thanks all for the fast welcome! I feel so at home already!

Don't worry, you won't live to regret that. Muahahahaha!

J/K, I'm a softie really.

Lou

 

[matriarch]

Well...after about a year of lurking here unregistered I have finally taken the Lit plunge! My Lit goal for this year was to write a story, but everytime I sit down to try I am entirely overwhelmed with shyness. I thought maybe if I came out of the closet as it were I might feel more pressure to get it done!!

So hi from a Lit Author wannabe!

Don't hurt me tooo much please!

*moving to slide my arm around your waist, smiling benignly into your face.*.

Now, don't you take any notice of these ladies, you just let ol' Matriarch take care of you. I'll tell you just how things are around here. I'm the harmless old lady of AH. You'll be safe with me.

*drawing you away from ABS and Cloudy, talking quietly*.... there's a rather quirky little cafe around the corner, run by a very .....interesting woman. It can be a bit daunting, but I'll take care of you. You can come sit in my corner. Safe as houses....." voice dying away as we disappear round the corner of Abs' place.

The last thing Abs and Cloudy see, is Mat's hand waving at them behind her.


Mat

 

[Mhari]

Hahaha, this one has your number already, Loulou!

Welcome, Fireandice! Best of luck on your story. I've only ever managed to write two, so I'm barely an author myself. But I do know how nerve-wracking getting that first one submitted can be!

~M

 

[Guest]

Hahaha, this one has your number already, Loulou!

Hmmm, bit disconcerting, isn't it?

Lou

 

[fireandice]

*pales a bit as Mat leads her off*

An interesting woman you say...?

 

[cloudy]

Lou - your reputation precedes you...I'm extremely jealous!!!

 

[ABSTRUSE]

*pales a bit as Mat leads her off*

An interesting woman you say...?

Mats is the least of your worries, wait until Lucky gets a hold of you....LOL.

 

[Mhari]

LOL! I wish I *had* a reputation here!

Or maybe I do and just don't know about it. Eep...now I'm all paranoid and stuff!

*hugs for sweet Loulou, who, as we all know, wouldn't hurt a fly!*

 

[Guest]

Mats is the least of your worries, wait until Lucky gets a hold of you....LOL.

Quite!

Cloudy: don't be, it can be a right pain in the arse!

Mhari: you do have a reputation, we just don't mention it in public.

*hugs Mhari back, good and tight*

Lou

 

[matriarch]

*Mat and Fire stroll around to the entrance of ABS-Place. Mat outlining all the characters.*

First and foremost, there's Lucky. She'll expect to deflower you. *smiling into your shocked face*, oh don't worry, it won't hurt, and you'll definitely enjoy it. We all went through it. Its like an initiation ceremony.

Then there's ABS, the bird that owns this place *pointing at the cafe*...a bitch of the first order if you get on the wrong side. Just give her regular gifts of bourbon and fat cigars, buy a coffee occasionally, read her a poem, talk about art, and you'll be fine.

*Fire, nods her head, taking it all in.*

Then there's Colly.......when you see her, you must remember to close your mouth. We are all overcome when we see her, just don't be walking when you catch sight or you're bound to stumble over something. Time and time again. I don't say you'll ever get used to seeing her, but you'll get used to the way your jaw drops, and the um..... tingling.......*coughs*

Oh, and I have to warn you about the goose. Most times she's harmless. Don't antagonise her. And if you see any stray feathers, don't for heavens sake take them, just leave them where they are. That beak of hers will have your hand off.

*continue walking and talking*......

 

[gauchecritic]

Eyup Fire, welcome to the zoo. Wish I was a newbie so Mat could lead me to her lair.

o o o (thinks) Now there's a good reason for a new nick.

Maybe you might feel it easier Fire, if you just have one person read it before you post. I'd be glad to do that service, even offer a gauchecritique.

Gauche

 

[matriarch]

Eyup Fire, welcome to the zoo. Wish I was a newbie so Mat could lead me to her lair.

was that 'lair'......... or 'liar' ????
I doubt, oh ye of the Yorkshire ken, that I would need to lead you anywhere.

o o o (thinks) Now there's a good reason for a new nick.



Maybe you might feel it easier Fire, if you just have one person read it before you post. I'd be glad to do that service, even offer a gauchecritique.

Be careful of this one. Suave, helpful, plausible......downright dangerous. But charming in a 'gauche' sort of way.

Gauche

 

[fireandice]

Aiyiyi!! I thought I knew what I was getting myself into!

Maybe I should just delete this account and run away fast and far!



Gauchecritic, I may just take you up on your offer...assuming I haven't been scared off before I ever write a story! Thank you!

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Aiyiyi!! I thought I knew what I was getting myself into!

Maybe I should just delete this account and run away fast and far!



Gauchecritic, I may just take you up on your offer...assuming I haven't been scared off before I ever write a story! Thank you!

We have a posse and would find you in no time!

 

[Guest]

We have a posse and would find you in no time!

Yeeeehaw!

 

[cloudy]

*holding my breath, hoping Mat doesn't notice me...*

 

[matriarch]

Aiyiyi!! I thought I knew what I was getting myself into!

Maybe I should just delete this account and run away fast and far!



Gauchecritic, I may just take you up on your offer...assuming I haven't been scared off before I ever write a story! Thank you!

Nah, don't be scared off. They're all really very nice people. Underneath. Or inside. Whichever is appropriate.

We have a beautiful indian princess - Cloudy, our own local grown Honey (tastes delicious), the resident sluterata Vella (plays a mean tune on the dulcimer, but not too often, she spends a lot of time, umm, rather tied up), Lou you already know about. Then there's Perdita, our art correspondent, and environment and pollution officer.......

*F&I's eyes begin to glaze over at the task of taking in all this information at once.*

 

[minsue]

Welcome! Congrats on your de-lurking!