Hello all. I think I might be gay, but I am not sure. Can you help me find out if I am gay or not?

[SexyIvi]

I am from Bulgaria. My father moved in Spain when I was 12 and then I was left to live with my mother and my sisters and everywhere in our house there were so many girly things, clothes, lingerie, bras and I was watching them and wonder how they feel. Then my mother moved with my father and my sisters became students, so I was 15 years old and left alone to live on my own. I decided to try on some panties and thongs and it felt great immediately, then I tried a bra, a dress, leggings and it felt so good and I liked everything. Then watching porn, I watched how the girls suck cocks and are getting fucked and I started to wonder how and what they feel. Then I tried putting objects in my ass and it felt good too, I started fucking myself with all kinds of objects. And with all that I started to have a real desires, fantasies about sucking cocks, having sex with a man. But even tho I have these desires, I liked girls, I wanted to find real love and a serious girl.

I was romantic with them, good, caring and nice, but I couldn't have a girl that liked me too, I am not ugly, but they all sayed that I was a great guy, but they don't like me and that I will make some girl really happy. All that affected me, because I started to feel real bad, rejected, alone, sad. And maybe thats why the thoughts about men came. And I was and I am a manly man in reality, I played football too. So I finished school and became student and I thought that then I will find a girl to be with, to fuck or anything, but no. There were more rejections and I became even more depressed. So then, I brought myself some thongs and girls clothes, maked pics of me and register myself in a dating site, but to find a man. And I found one, he was 40+ and fat. So, he came in my apartment, I was wearing thong, leggings, bra and a t-shirt,I just fell to my knees and waited for his cock. But he was soft and small (imagine my disappointment, haha) and I started jerking him off, then sucking him, I was trying so hard and I felt great honestly. I liked being in my knees in front of him, but for 10 minutes he couldn't get hard (I think he had an erection problem) and we gave up. After that I had other chances to meet with him, with other men too, so I wanted to meet with another, I arranged some meetings, but every time just before the meeting I quite and cancelled it, because of my fears, shame and stress.

Then I met a girl and I fell inlove again with a girl. I was 22, she was my first and only one for now. I told her about all of these things and she reacted ok, we talked and came to a conclusion that I am not gay and I had these desires, because I was virgin, but now that I am with her and I liked being with her, these desires are gone and we are happy. So yes, we were. We started living together almost immediately. First couple of months were amazing, first year was too, then we moved to a different city, both working, having troubles with money tho, you know everydays stuff, she was working in the weekends and resting in the week days, I was the opposite of that, so when I was alone in the weekends I started having again desires about men, about wearing her thongs and etc. So, I started wearing some of her panties and watching cocks over the internet, when she was at work. In the same time I was happy with her, I really loved her and I wanted to spent my whole life with her. I proposed to her, she said yes. And everything was great, but one day I forgot to delate photos of my butt wearing her thong on our laptop and she came back from work and saw them. And she was angry, but didn't wanted to talk with me, she just said that she don't want me to do that anymore and I told her ok. Then the times passed, we even had a date for our wedding, but suddenly she left me 3 months before our wedding (in the end we lived together for 3 years).She said that she don't want to marry, she wanted to live more and etc, that there isn't anyone else, but two weeks after she left me, I saw her with another man. So after that, I became really sad, depressed, broken and damaged.. I started drinking a lot, I missed her. But the thoughts about men and cocks came back and even stronger. She left a couple of panties, clothes, so I started wear some of them that could fit me, brought my own too and continue chatting with men, fantasizing and etc, but still I didn't do anything. She left me in july 2017, it have been 5 years and I am not having any sex, haha.

In September 2019 I moved in Spain too in order to find more work, to gain more money and etc, but then the virus happened and that slowed the things. For the moment I live here with my folks, so I can't dress up, but I have some thongs and I wear them sometimes, then hide them and thats it, haha. I am still not sure if I am gay or not. I think I can fell inlove with a woman again, but for the moment I don't have any sexual desires towards women. Maybe if I am inlove, I will desire the girl, but for the moment-no, nothing. I notice girls over the streets, I like them, I like how they look and etc, but instead of wanting to be with them, I imagine myself like them, to have a sexy ass, to dress sexy too, to be like them and be with a man, hehe. And I don't know if I like men in their faces, but I love cocks, haha. And I started to like looking at naked men over the internet, I mean not just for their cocks, but for their bodies, strong arms, muscular hands and chest and etc. And I know that I have big desire to have sex with a man, to be in the girl's role, sucking his cock and getting fucked by him. So thats why I think I am gay, but thats why I am not sure either..

 

[Savanasexi]

I am from Bulgaria. My father moved in Spain when I was 12 and then I was left to live with my mother and my sisters and everywhere in our house there were so many girly things, clothes, lingerie, bras and I was watching them and wonder how they feel. Then my mother moved with my father and my sisters became students, so I was 15 years old and left alone to live on my own. I decided to try on some panties and thongs and it felt great immediately, then I tried a bra, a dress, leggings and it felt so good and I liked everything. Then watching porn, I watched how the girls suck cocks and are getting fucked and I started to wonder how and what they feel. Then I tried putting objects in my ass and it felt good too, I started fucking myself with all kinds of objects. And with all that I started to have a real desires, fantasies about sucking cocks, having sex with a man. But even tho I have these desires, I liked girls, I wanted to find real love and a serious girl.

I was romantic with them, good, caring and nice, but I couldn't have a girl that liked me too, I am not ugly, but they all sayed that I was a great guy, but they don't like me and that I will make some girl really happy. All that affected me, because I started to feel real bad, rejected, alone, sad. And maybe thats why the thoughts about men came. And I was and I am a manly man in reality, I played football too. So I finished school and became student and I thought that then I will find a girl to be with, to fuck or anything, but no. There were more rejections and I became even more depressed. So then, I brought myself some thongs and girls clothes, maked pics of me and register myself in a dating site, but to find a man. And I found one, he was 40+ and fat. So, he came in my apartment, I was wearing thong, leggings, bra and a t-shirt,I just fell to my knees and waited for his cock. But he was soft and small (imagine my disappointment, haha) and I started jerking him off, then sucking him, I was trying so hard and I felt great honestly. I liked being in my knees in front of him, but for 10 minutes he couldn't get hard (I think he had an erection problem) and we gave up. After that I had other chances to meet with him, with other men too, so I wanted to meet with another, I arranged some meetings, but every time just before the meeting I quite and cancelled it, because of my fears, shame and stress.

Then I met a girl and I fell inlove again with a girl. I was 22, she was my first and only one for now. I told her about all of these things and she reacted ok, we talked and came to a conclusion that I am not gay and I had these desires, because I was virgin, but now that I am with her and I liked being with her, these desires are gone and we are happy. So yes, we were. We started living together almost immediately. First couple of months were amazing, first year was too, then we moved to a different city, both working, having troubles with money tho, you know everydays stuff, she was working in the weekends and resting in the week days, I was the opposite of that, so when I was alone in the weekends I started having again desires about men, about wearing her thongs and etc. So, I started wearing some of her panties and watching cocks over the internet, when she was at work. In the same time I was happy with her, I really loved her and I wanted to spent my whole life with her. I proposed to her, she said yes. And everything was great, but one day I forgot to delate photos of my butt wearing her thong on our laptop and she came back from work and saw them. And she was angry, but didn't wanted to talk with me, she just said that she don't want me to do that anymore and I told her ok. Then the times passed, we even had a date for our wedding, but suddenly she left me 3 months before our wedding (in the end we lived together for 3 years).She said that she don't want to marry, she wanted to live more and etc, that there isn't anyone else, but two weeks after she left me, I saw her with another man. So after that, I became really sad, depressed, broken and damaged.. I started drinking a lot, I missed her. But the thoughts about men and cocks came back and even stronger. She left a couple of panties, clothes, so I started wear some of them that could fit me, brought my own too and continue chatting with men, fantasizing and etc, but still I didn't do anything. She left me in july 2017, it have been 5 years and I am not having any sex, haha.

In September 2019 I moved in Spain too in order to find more work, to gain more money and etc, but then the virus happened and that slowed the things. For the moment I live here with my folks, so I can't dress up, but I have some thongs and I wear them sometimes, then hide them and thats it, haha. I am still not sure if I am gay or not. I think I can fell inlove with a woman again, but for the moment I don't have any sexual desires towards women. Maybe if I am inlove, I will desire the girl, but for the moment-no, nothing. I notice girls over the streets, I like them, I like how they look and etc, but instead of wanting to be with them, I imagine myself like them, to have a sexy ass, to dress sexy too, to be like them and be with a man, hehe. And I don't know if I like men in their faces, but I love cocks, haha. And I started to like looking at naked men over the internet, I mean not just for their cocks, but for their bodies, strong arms, muscular hands and chest and etc. And I know that I have big desire to have sex with a man, to be in the girl's role, sucking his cock and getting fucked by him. So thats why I think I am gay, but thats why I am not sure either..

Yes sweetheart, how can I help you

 

[SexyIvi]

Yes sweetheart, how can I help you

Well, you can tell me what do you think?

 

[2wayroad]

Your problem with women is that you are too feminine. Most straight women want a guy who exudes a certain masculinity. When they find a man who has it and he fulfills here need for that, your relationship with her is doomed.

There are women out there who like men such as yourself, you just have to be honest about who and how you are.

Since you have the desire to be in a relationship with a woman, you likely are not gay. But, you do want to have sex with men, so you aren’t straight either. Maybe join a dating site where you can be bluntly honest about yourself without having to face rejection. You will meet someone. The question is, are you ready to date a woman who is not completely wholesome and straight?

 

[SissySalina]

What do you consider to be "gay"?
Gay can mean many things but you must decide what you define as gay first.

 

[Escierto]

Your problem with women is that you are too feminine. Most straight women want a guy who exudes a certain masculinity. When they find a man who has it and he fulfills here need for that, your relationship with her is doomed.

There are women out there who like men such as yourself, you just have to be honest about who and how you are.

Since you have the desire to be in a relationship with a woman, you likely are not gay. But, you do want to have sex with men, so you aren’t straight either. Maybe join a dating site where you can be bluntly honest about yourself without having to face rejection. You will meet someone. The question is, are you ready to date a woman who is not completely wholesome and straight?

One option is to be with a transgender woman. My girlfriend is super feminine but she has a cock that she loves to use. I am only attracted to women so she is perfect for me.

 

[AlexBailey]

Your sexuality doesn’t have to be defined as either ‘gay’ or ‘straight’, that would be a ‘binary’ choice.

Gender identity can also be in a spectrum between male and female.

Many people identify their sexual orientation and gender identity as ‘nonbinary’ - usually considered to be somewhere in between male and female, and attracted to people without rules of gender.

I’m nonbinary. I consider my gender to be fluid in how I feel and how I present. Sometimes I’m all male, other times I’m quite femme.

I’m ‘polyamorous’ meaning that I can be attracted to any gender.

Though I’ve had some fun with male lovers, most of my relationships have been with women, including some who consider themselves lesbians, and my ‘straight’ wife of +20 years with whom I’ve raised thee sons and an adopted daughter.

Sexuality is a part of life but it isn’t everything. You are who you choose to be.

 

[ADogWithABone]

To me your story doesn't give much evidence about whether you're gay or straight or bi or somewhere else.

You seem to have an initial interest in women, but it's unclear whether there was a strong passion for this on your part, or whether you're held back by fear, or just following cultural norms, etc. I don't think the question of whether women wanted to have sex with you is a strong clue in either direction. Women are pursuing their own goals, and for the history of time, men have been trying to find the key to their desires. That you haven't figured any of this out at 22 does not indicate anything to me.

When you start your sentence, "I was romantic with them, good, caring and nice..." all straight men know the rest of the sentence. In the US this is known as the "friend zone". There are thousands of discussions on this on the internet: how it happens, how to avoid it, etc, etc. That you easily fall into the friend zone does not say anything about your sexual preferences. I don't know the statistics on this, but from my friends growing up, I guess over half had this as an ongoing frustration. It just takes some learning to figure out how avoid it.

Then when you talk about men, I don't hear your passion for men either, but more as a fallback since you don't find that things are working out with you with women. Personally, that you think about men and cocks doesn't say much to me (although it's an ongoing debate here, with some people saying if you have any desire for cock then you are at least bi, but I would disagree). From my understanding, though, if you think you might be interested in men, men are often more direct about sex and it's often easier to move forward. It shouldn't be difficult to try something out with men and see how you feel about it (and I think it would be a mistake to think that somehow labels you if that's what you're worried about). Before making a decision, it's often worthwhile to allow your mind to wander down a path and try imagine what things along that path you would enjoy. That is showing the great characteristic of true open mindedness. But just because you see something along that path that you think you might enjoy does not mean that it is the path for you. Which path you want takes a much more holistic consideration.

I don't intend to say that you must have passion, but it's just not clear what you want from what you've written. Instead, I'd say, not everything we want in life comes easy. I think for long term happiness, I would try to figure out what you want in a relationship rather than what comes easy to you. Heartbreak is an indication that you're alive and pursuing something you care about. Along the way, you can have fun in all the ways you think you might like.

By the way, my understanding of the friend zone is this: Women are more selective of who they have sex with than who they will let into the friend zone (fair enough, so am I). As a novice, it is easy to become fooled by finding friendship as an easy way to get close to a women while avoiding the possibility of rejection, and then hope that this morphs into something else. It generally won't. If your goal is a sexual relationship, it's better to make this clear from the outset. You'll probably have a higher rejection rate, which will be painful, but your ultimate success rate will be higher. (That is, this issue with women could just a common interpersonal interaction and not an indication that you're not manly enough, not really interested in women and they somehow know that when you don't, etc.)

 

[mtsnowrider]

To me your story doesn't give much evidence about whether you're gay or straight or bi or somewhere else.

You seem to have an initial interest in women, but it's unclear whether there was a strong passion for this on your part, or whether you're held back by fear, or just following cultural norms, etc. I don't think the question of whether women wanted to have sex with you is a strong clue in either direction. Women are pursuing their own goals, and for the history of time, men have been trying to find the key to their desires. That you haven't figured any of this out at 22 does not indicate anything to me.

When you start your sentence, "I was romantic with them, good, caring and nice..." all straight men know the rest of the sentence. In the US this is known as the "friend zone". There are thousands of discussions on this on the internet: how it happens, how to avoid it, etc, etc. That you easily fall into the friend zone does not say anything about your sexual preferences. I don't know the statistics on this, but from my friends growing up, I guess over half had this as an ongoing frustration. It just takes some learning to figure out how avoid it.

Then when you talk about men, I don't hear your passion for men either, but more as a fallback since you don't find that things are working out with you with women. Personally, that you think about men and cocks doesn't say much to me (although it's an ongoing debate here, with some people saying if you have any desire for cock then you are at least bi, but I would disagree). From my understanding, though, if you think you might be interested in men, men are often more direct about sex and it's often easier to move forward. It shouldn't be difficult to try something out with men and see how you feel about it (and I think it would be a mistake to think that somehow labels you if that's what you're worried about). Before making a decision, it's often worthwhile to allow your mind to wander down a path and try imagine what things along that path you would enjoy. That is showing the great characteristic of true open mindedness. But just because you see something along that path that you think you might enjoy does not mean that it is the path for you. Which path you want takes a much more holistic consideration.

I don't intend to say that you must have passion, but it's just not clear what you want from what you've written. Instead, I'd say, not everything we want in life comes easy. I think for long term happiness, I would try to figure out what you want in a relationship rather than what comes easy to you. Heartbreak is an indication that you're alive and pursuing something you care about. Along the way, you can have fun in all the ways you think you might like.

By the way, my understanding of the friend zone is this: Women are more selective of who they have sex with than who they will let into the friend zone (fair enough, so am I). As a novice, it is easy to become fooled by finding friendship as an easy way to get close to a women while avoiding the possibility of rejection, and then hope that this morphs into something else. It generally won't. If your goal is a sexual relationship, it's better to make this clear from the outset. You'll probably have a higher rejection rate, which will be painful, but your ultimate success rate will be higher. (That is, this issue with women could just a common interpersonal interaction and not an indication that you're not manly enough, not really interested in women and they somehow know that when you don't, etc.)

I had a friend in college who would ask women shortly after meeting them if they wanted to fuck ( I suppose the same approach would work with gay men). I thought his attitude was awful but he pointed out that he got laid more often than I did.

 

[J1biboi]

I had a friend in college who would ask women shortly after meeting them if they wanted to fuck ( I suppose the same approach would work with gay men). I thought his attitude was awful but he pointed out that he got laid more often than I did.

I knew a guy who would do the same thing. I thought it was awfully rude, but he said all they can do is say yes, no or slap the shit out of you, saves beating around the bush.

 

[stickygirl]

Your sexuality doesn’t have to be defined as either ‘gay’ or ‘straight’, that would be a ‘binary’ choice.

Gender identity can also be in a spectrum between male and female.

Many people identify their sexual orientation and gender identity as ‘nonbinary’ - usually considered to be somewhere in between male and female, and attracted to people without rules of gender.

I’m nonbinary. I consider my gender to be fluid in how I feel and how I present. Sometimes I’m all male, other times I’m quite femme.

I’m ‘polyamorous’ meaning that I can be attracted to any gender.

Though I’ve had some fun with male lovers, most of my relationships have been with women, including some who consider themselves lesbians, and my ‘straight’ wife of +20 years with whom I’ve raised thee sons and an adopted daughter.

Sexuality is a part of life but it isn’t everything. You are who you choose to be.

I don't disagree, but your enlightened attitude is seldom reflected in society, sadly.

I agree with Dogwithabone too, because dick is something plenty of guys fixate on and doesn't necessarily lead to a normal ( who's turn is it to take the garbage out? ) relationship. I'd agree that heart break is one of Life's experiences and wearing her thong without permission was probably the straw that broke the camel's back.

You might find with time that you get bored with wearing the thongs yourself and would rather have it filled with a real woman. Our sexual imagination can flip-flop so fast that we can in an instant picture a woman, then persuade ourselves that 'my ass looks great in these knickers too' as you beat the bishop. Maybe you can throw in an image of a big hairy dick fucking the woman (you) you've just conjured?
^^ That's just playful imagination and fantasy - it isn't 'taking the garbage out'.

I can't possibly tell you if you're gay, but clearly you have a good imagination. Garbage versus Fantasy. Your call and good luck. You seem like a decent fella

 

[mtsnowrider]

I knew a guy who would do the same thing. I thought it was awfully rude, but he said all they can do is say yes, no or slap the shit out of you, saves beating around the bush.

Guess our friends were more aggressive and more confident than us

 

[ericalauren]

I'm asexual and nonbinary. I'm in the camp that thinks no one can define your gender and/or sexual orientation for you. It's alright to ask for input from trusted friends, therapists, and other folks. However, ultimately you yourself need to find the labels that are right for you. Good luck.

 

[Wanking_Frank]

I can sort of relate, I’m somewhere on a similar scale but I don’t have any desire to cross dress or anything like that. Feel like I could only fall in love with women but sex with men is also appealing. I don’t want to kiss a man or really do much more than just suck his cock or take it deep up my ass. Maybe it’s compartmentalizing, as for what label to put on it, I don’t fucking know, other than bisexual.

 

[J1biboi]

Guess our friends were more aggressive and more confident than us

Without a doubt!

 

[PleasePeesMe]

I am from Bulgaria. My father moved in Spain when I was 12 and then I was left to live with my mother and my sisters and everywhere in our house there were so many girly things, clothes, lingerie, bras and I was watching them and wonder how they feel. Then my mother moved with my father and my sisters became students, so I was 15 years old and left alone to live on my own. I decided to try on some panties and thongs and it felt great immediately, then I tried a bra, a dress, leggings and it felt so good and I liked everything. Then watching porn, I watched how the girls suck cocks and are getting fucked and I started to wonder how and what they feel. Then I tried putting objects in my ass and it felt good too, I started fucking myself with all kinds of objects. And with all that I started to have a real desires, fantasies about sucking cocks, having sex with a man. But even tho I have these desires, I liked girls, I wanted to find real love and a serious girl.

I was romantic with them, good, caring and nice, but I couldn't have a girl that liked me too, I am not ugly, but they all sayed that I was a great guy, but they don't like me and that I will make some girl really happy. All that affected me, because I started to feel real bad, rejected, alone, sad. And maybe thats why the thoughts about men came. And I was and I am a manly man in reality, I played football too. So I finished school and became student and I thought that then I will find a girl to be with, to fuck or anything, but no. There were more rejections and I became even more depressed. So then, I brought myself some thongs and girls clothes, maked pics of me and register myself in a dating site, but to find a man. And I found one, he was 40+ and fat. So, he came in my apartment, I was wearing thong, leggings, bra and a t-shirt,I just fell to my knees and waited for his cock. But he was soft and small (imagine my disappointment, haha) and I started jerking him off, then sucking him, I was trying so hard and I felt great honestly. I liked being in my knees in front of him, but for 10 minutes he couldn't get hard (I think he had an erection problem) and we gave up. After that I had other chances to meet with him, with other men too, so I wanted to meet with another, I arranged some meetings, but every time just before the meeting I quite and cancelled it, because of my fears, shame and stress.

Then I met a girl and I fell inlove again with a girl. I was 22, she was my first and only one for now. I told her about all of these things and she reacted ok, we talked and came to a conclusion that I am not gay and I had these desires, because I was virgin, but now that I am with her and I liked being with her, these desires are gone and we are happy. So yes, we were. We started living together almost immediately. First couple of months were amazing, first year was too, then we moved to a different city, both working, having troubles with money tho, you know everydays stuff, she was working in the weekends and resting in the week days, I was the opposite of that, so when I was alone in the weekends I started having again desires about men, about wearing her thongs and etc. So, I started wearing some of her panties and watching cocks over the internet, when she was at work. In the same time I was happy with her, I really loved her and I wanted to spent my whole life with her. I proposed to her, she said yes. And everything was great, but one day I forgot to delate photos of my butt wearing her thong on our laptop and she came back from work and saw them. And she was angry, but didn't wanted to talk with me, she just said that she don't want me to do that anymore and I told her ok. Then the times passed, we even had a date for our wedding, but suddenly she left me 3 months before our wedding (in the end we lived together for 3 years).She said that she don't want to marry, she wanted to live more and etc, that there isn't anyone else, but two weeks after she left me, I saw her with another man. So after that, I became really sad, depressed, broken and damaged.. I started drinking a lot, I missed her. But the thoughts about men and cocks came back and even stronger. She left a couple of panties, clothes, so I started wear some of them that could fit me, brought my own too and continue chatting with men, fantasizing and etc, but still I didn't do anything. She left me in july 2017, it have been 5 years and I am not having any sex, haha.

In September 2019 I moved in Spain too in order to find more work, to gain more money and etc, but then the virus happened and that slowed the things. For the moment I live here with my folks, so I can't dress up, but I have some thongs and I wear them sometimes, then hide them and thats it, haha. I am still not sure if I am gay or not. I think I can fell inlove with a woman again, but for the moment I don't have any sexual desires towards women. Maybe if I am inlove, I will desire the girl, but for the moment-no, nothing. I notice girls over the streets, I like them, I like how they look and etc, but instead of wanting to be with them, I imagine myself like them, to have a sexy ass, to dress sexy too, to be like them and be with a man, hehe. And I don't know if I like men in their faces, but I love cocks, haha. And I started to like looking at naked men over the internet, I mean not just for their cocks, but for their bodies, strong arms, muscular hands and chest and etc. And I know that I have big desire to have sex with a man, to be in the girl's role, sucking his cock and getting fucked by him. So thats why I think I am gay, but thats why I am not sure either..

Don't worry about what you call yourself. Labels are for products. You just happen to enjoy sex and you're pretty sure you'd enjoy it with men as well as women. Well done. That's all there is to it.

 

[SexyIvi]

I don't disagree, but your enlightened attitude is seldom reflected in society, sadly.

I agree with Dogwithabone too, because dick is something plenty of guys fixate on and doesn't necessarily lead to a normal ( who's turn is it to take the garbage out? ) relationship. I'd agree that heart break is one of Life's experiences and wearing her thong without permission was probably the straw that broke the camel's back.

You might find with time that you get bored with wearing the thongs yourself and would rather have it filled with a real woman. Our sexual imagination can flip-flop so fast that we can in an instant picture a woman, then persuade ourselves that 'my ass looks great in these knickers too' as you beat the bishop. Maybe you can throw in an image of a big hairy dick fucking the woman (you) you've just conjured?
^^ That's just playful imagination and fantasy - it isn't 'taking the garbage out'.

I can't possibly tell you if you're gay, but clearly you have a good imagination. Garbage versus Fantasy. Your call and good luck. You seem like a decent fella

Hey, thank you for that. I am sorry I am replying that late.

You have a point in everything you said and I don't blame my ex for leaving me. She was still with me for a few months after finding out that I am wearing her thong behind her back, but I guess that was the reason for her to leave.

That thing about the imagination and fantasy was so interesting and there is a lot of truth in that. I doubt I will get bored wearing thongs tho, haha. I started doing it since I was 14,15 years old and I am still doing it (even now I am wearing a girl's red thong). But you have a point in that, I imagine myself like the woman and I imagine some big, hairy, strong, muscular man with a dick that is fucking me and how I am sucking his cock... And I love all of this, but I haven't done it in reality and I don't know what to think or do anymore..

Thank you all for asnswering and trying to help, I appreciate it! <3

 

[Escierto]

I'm not sure if anyone mentioned this point, but I thought I'd say it.

You mentioned a couple of times that you find yourself liking women and liking how they look, but you actually want to be like them. You want to "have a sexy ass," you want to "dress sexy," and "to be like them." And you are confused about if you are gay or not, because you like women, but you also want sex from men.

I think this is all very normal, but it's unfortunate that you've been through these negative times in your life to realize these things about yourself.

I also think it's possible that you have feelings about your gender that you might want to think more deeply about. Think about if you would be happy living in the role of a woman everyday, and ask yourself what you think that would be like. Would that interest you? Does that thought make you happy? Confused? Why? Other feelings? Why?

Sometimes, for example, some transgender women who like men start off by calling themselves "transvestites" or "crossdressers" and saying that they are gay for men, before they realize they identify as women. It happens because there are times when a person's feelings about their gender get connected to their feelings about sex or pleasure. If it feels really good and sexy to be a woman (better than being a man), then of course you might start off feeling aroused and doing sexy things... while acting like, feeling like, and being a woman. Whatever being a woman means to you.

That's why I hear about so many transgender women whose first experience with putting on women's underwear or women's clothes caused them sexual arousal. And, sometimes, it gives them shame-- other times, excitement.

This might not be true for you. Maybe you will do the thought exercise I suggested where you ask yourself questions and imagine, but you decide that you don't really want to be a woman all the time. That's also normal. It's also normal to like both men and women, and to sometimes want one kind of person more than the other at different times, for different reasons. Humans have diverse brains, and the signals in our brains get to choose who we want!

If you want, you can message me. I run a support group for people, young and old, who have had experiences similar to yours. So if you have questions or want to answer in private, I'm here to listen.

Excellent post.

 

[cuck72]

I know I'm probably wrong, but just a thought. Do you actually have to have sex with another man to be gay? I would think so. But I ask because I never been with a guy, sadly never sucked a cock, but MAN! I get so hard and excited watching gay porn and jack off thinking of sucking off a few guys I know. For years it was just thinking of other men fucking my wife, then it was the creampie eating cleanup cuckold in me. NOW its sucking cock, licking a man's ass and thinking of being an ass fucked sissy bitch. I just think if this excites a guy so much, can he still be considered gay because he has very strong gay fantasies and imagines being a two-hole sissy bitch. I think more about cock now and get off being just as excited thinking of a cock Cumming in my mouth, as thinking about watching my wife being a slut.

 

[widereceiver]

I know I'm probably wrong, but just a thought. Do you actually have to have sex with another man to be gay? I would think so. But I ask because I never been with a guy, sadly never sucked a cock, but MAN! I get so hard and excited watching gay porn and jack off thinking of sucking off a few guys I know. For years it was just thinking of other men fucking my wife, then it was the creampie eating cleanup cuckold in me. NOW its sucking cock, licking a man's ass and thinking of being an ass fucked sissy bitch. I just think if this excites a guy so much, can he still be considered gay because he has very strong gay fantasies and imagines being a two-hole sissy bitch. I think more about cock now and get off being just as excited thinking of a cock Cumming in my mouth, as thinking about watching my wife being a slut.

I consider myself gay because I’m attracted to other men, and I find them sexually exciting in real life. If I’m around a really hot guy, the blood will start flowing into my penis. Sometimes I find myself undressing a guy in my mind. I do so without shame or guilt. I’m checking out men all the time and wondering what their cocks might be like. All doubt about my sexuality left me last year.

 

[cuck72]

I consider myself gay because I’m attracted to other men, and I find them sexually exciting in real life. If I’m around a really hot guy, the blood will start flowing into my penis. Sometimes I find myself undressing a guy in my mind. I do so without shame or guilt. I’m checking out men all the time and wondering what their cocks might be like. All doubt about my sexuality left me last year.

I can still check out the women and LOVE! pussy, but I find that now I get just as turned on seeing a guy's cock bulge and imagine being on my knees sucking his big fat cock. I love watching cuckold porn, but I want to see that cuckold sucking the wife's lover, my old ass cums so hard thinking about some guys I know fucking my ass and mouth. Maybe I'm just a very perverted bi old man. I just know I'd LOVE! sucking a few cocks.

 

[ChrissyCD64]

Your problem with women is that you are too feminine. Most straight women want a guy who exudes a certain masculinity. When they find a man who has it and he fulfills here need for that, your relationship with her is doomed.

There are women out there who like men such as yourself, you just have to be honest about who and how you are.

Since you have the desire to be in a relationship with a woman, you likely are not gay. But, you do want to have sex with men, so you aren’t straight either. Maybe join a dating site where you can be bluntly honest about yourself without having to face rejection. You will meet someone. The question is, are you ready to date a woman who is not completely wholesome and straight?

My wife of 54 years loves that I am a bi sissy CD, so yes there are women out there for guys like you. She is bi herself and prefers women to men and we both love to dress up in sexy somewhat slutty outfits so it works out well.

 

[CuckedbyBBC]

I am from Bulgaria. My father moved in Spain when I was 12 and then I was left to live with my mother and my sisters and everywhere in our house there were so many girly things, clothes, lingerie, bras and I was watching them and wonder how they feel. Then my mother moved with my father and my sisters became students, so I was 15 years old and left alone to live on my own. I decided to try on some panties and thongs and it felt great immediately, then I tried a bra, a dress, leggings and it felt so good and I liked everything. Then watching porn, I watched how the girls suck cocks and are getting fucked and I started to wonder how and what they feel. Then I tried putting objects in my ass and it felt good too, I started fucking myself with all kinds of objects. And with all that I started to have a real desires, fantasies about sucking cocks, having sex with a man. But even tho I have these desires, I liked girls, I wanted to find real love and a serious girl.

I was romantic with them, good, caring and nice, but I couldn't have a girl that liked me too, I am not ugly, but they all sayed that I was a great guy, but they don't like me and that I will make some girl really happy. All that affected me, because I started to feel real bad, rejected, alone, sad. And maybe thats why the thoughts about men came. And I was and I am a manly man in reality, I played football too. So I finished school and became student and I thought that then I will find a girl to be with, to fuck or anything, but no. There were more rejections and I became even more depressed. So then, I brought myself some thongs and girls clothes, maked pics of me and register myself in a dating site, but to find a man. And I found one, he was 40+ and fat. So, he came in my apartment, I was wearing thong, leggings, bra and a t-shirt,I just fell to my knees and waited for his cock. But he was soft and small (imagine my disappointment, haha) and I started jerking him off, then sucking him, I was trying so hard and I felt great honestly. I liked being in my knees in front of him, but for 10 minutes he couldn't get hard (I think he had an erection problem) and we gave up. After that I had other chances to meet with him, with other men too, so I wanted to meet with another, I arranged some meetings, but every time just before the meeting I quite and cancelled it, because of my fears, shame and stress.

Then I met a girl and I fell inlove again with a girl. I was 22, she was my first and only one for now. I told her about all of these things and she reacted ok, we talked and came to a conclusion that I am not gay and I had these desires, because I was virgin, but now that I am with her and I liked being with her, these desires are gone and we are happy. So yes, we were. We started living together almost immediately. First couple of months were amazing, first year was too, then we moved to a different city, both working, having troubles with money tho, you know everydays stuff, she was working in the weekends and resting in the week days, I was the opposite of that, so when I was alone in the weekends I started having again desires about men, about wearing her thongs and etc. So, I started wearing some of her panties and watching cocks over the internet, when she was at work. In the same time I was happy with her, I really loved her and I wanted to spent my whole life with her. I proposed to her, she said yes. And everything was great, but one day I forgot to delate photos of my butt wearing her thong on our laptop and she came back from work and saw them. And she was angry, but didn't wanted to talk with me, she just said that she don't want me to do that anymore and I told her ok. Then the times passed, we even had a date for our wedding, but suddenly she left me 3 months before our wedding (in the end we lived together for 3 years).She said that she don't want to marry, she wanted to live more and etc, that there isn't anyone else, but two weeks after she left me, I saw her with another man. So after that, I became really sad, depressed, broken and damaged.. I started drinking a lot, I missed her. But the thoughts about men and cocks came back and even stronger. She left a couple of panties, clothes, so I started wear some of them that could fit me, brought my own too and continue chatting with men, fantasizing and etc, but still I didn't do anything. She left me in july 2017, it have been 5 years and I am not having any sex, haha.

In September 2019 I moved in Spain too in order to find more work, to gain more money and etc, but then the virus happened and that slowed the things. For the moment I live here with my folks, so I can't dress up, but I have some thongs and I wear them sometimes, then hide them and thats it, haha. I am still not sure if I am gay or not. I think I can fell inlove with a woman again, but for the moment I don't have any sexual desires towards women. Maybe if I am inlove, I will desire the girl, but for the moment-no, nothing. I notice girls over the streets, I like them, I like how they look and etc, but instead of wanting to be with them, I imagine myself like them, to have a sexy ass, to dress sexy too, to be like them and be with a man, hehe. And I don't know if I like men in their faces, but I love cocks, haha. And I started to like looking at naked men over the internet, I mean not just for their cocks, but for their bodies, strong arms, muscular hands and chest and etc. And I know that I have big desire to have sex with a man, to be in the girl's role, sucking his cock and getting fucked by him. So thats why I think I am gay, but thats why I am not sure either..

you sound a lot like me. I’m happily married to a woman, get hard and am very attracted to women. I am also very masculine and alpha. But I love the idea of being submissive and I love dicks. I love them in my ass and my mouth and have had many both places - but years ago before I was married. But almost all of these cocks belonged to transsexuals. I’m not attracted to men. I fantasize about it, even write gay erotica. But when it comes down to it, I don’t want to make out with a masculine man and fuck him.

I would say this, when you see a man in person, do you want to fuck him or have him fuck you? Do you want to kiss him? I think you don’t. If not, I don’t think your gay in the traditional sense of what society thinks is “gay”. I think that’s why you backed out of dates. I bet you would like to meet a transsexual top, you could even dress together.

 

[MarksExperiences]

I am from Bulgaria. My father moved in Spain when I was 12 and then I was left to live with my mother and my sisters and everywhere in our house there were so many girly things, clothes, lingerie, bras and I was watching them and wonder how they feel. Then my mother moved with my father and my sisters became students, so I was 15 years old and left alone to live on my own. I decided to try on some panties and thongs and it felt great immediately, then I tried a bra, a dress, leggings and it felt so good and I liked everything. Then watching porn, I watched how the girls suck cocks and are getting fucked and I started to wonder how and what they feel. Then I tried putting objects in my ass and it felt good too, I started fucking myself with all kinds of objects. And with all that I started to have a real desires, fantasies about sucking cocks, having sex with a man. But even tho I have these desires, I liked girls, I wanted to find real love and a serious girl.

I was romantic with them, good, caring and nice, but I couldn't have a girl that liked me too, I am not ugly, but they all sayed that I was a great guy, but they don't like me and that I will make some girl really happy. All that affected me, because I started to feel real bad, rejected, alone, sad. And maybe thats why the thoughts about men came. And I was and I am a manly man in reality, I played football too. So I finished school and became student and I thought that then I will find a girl to be with, to fuck or anything, but no. There were more rejections and I became even more depressed. So then, I brought myself some thongs and girls clothes, maked pics of me and register myself in a dating site, but to find a man. And I found one, he was 40+ and fat. So, he came in my apartment, I was wearing thong, leggings, bra and a t-shirt,I just fell to my knees and waited for his cock. But he was soft and small (imagine my disappointment, haha) and I started jerking him off, then sucking him, I was trying so hard and I felt great honestly. I liked being in my knees in front of him, but for 10 minutes he couldn't get hard (I think he had an erection problem) and we gave up. After that I had other chances to meet with him, with other men too, so I wanted to meet with another, I arranged some meetings, but every time just before the meeting I quite and cancelled it, because of my fears, shame and stress.

Then I met a girl and I fell inlove again with a girl. I was 22, she was my first and only one for now. I told her about all of these things and she reacted ok, we talked and came to a conclusion that I am not gay and I had these desires, because I was virgin, but now that I am with her and I liked being with her, these desires are gone and we are happy. So yes, we were. We started living together almost immediately. First couple of months were amazing, first year was too, then we moved to a different city, both working, having troubles with money tho, you know everydays stuff, she was working in the weekends and resting in the week days, I was the opposite of that, so when I was alone in the weekends I started having again desires about men, about wearing her thongs and etc. So, I started wearing some of her panties and watching cocks over the internet, when she was at work. In the same time I was happy with her, I really loved her and I wanted to spent my whole life with her. I proposed to her, she said yes. And everything was great, but one day I forgot to delate photos of my butt wearing her thong on our laptop and she came back from work and saw them. And she was angry, but didn't wanted to talk with me, she just said that she don't want me to do that anymore and I told her ok. Then the times passed, we even had a date for our wedding, but suddenly she left me 3 months before our wedding (in the end we lived together for 3 years).She said that she don't want to marry, she wanted to live more and etc, that there isn't anyone else, but two weeks after she left me, I saw her with another man. So after that, I became really sad, depressed, broken and damaged.. I started drinking a lot, I missed her. But the thoughts about men and cocks came back and even stronger. She left a couple of panties, clothes, so I started wear some of them that could fit me, brought my own too and continue chatting with men, fantasizing and etc, but still I didn't do anything. She left me in july 2017, it have been 5 years and I am not having any sex, haha.

In September 2019 I moved in Spain too in order to find more work, to gain more money and etc, but then the virus happened and that slowed the things. For the moment I live here with my folks, so I can't dress up, but I have some thongs and I wear them sometimes, then hide them and thats it, haha. I am still not sure if I am gay or not. I think I can fell inlove with a woman again, but for the moment I don't have any sexual desires towards women. Maybe if I am inlove, I will desire the girl, but for the moment-no, nothing. I notice girls over the streets, I like them, I like how they look and etc, but instead of wanting to be with them, I imagine myself like them, to have a sexy ass, to dress sexy too, to be like them and be with a man, hehe. And I don't know if I like men in their faces, but I love cocks, haha. And I started to like looking at naked men over the internet, I mean not just for their cocks, but for their bodies, strong arms, muscular hands and chest and etc. And I know that I have big desire to have sex with a man, to be in the girl's role, sucking his cock and getting fucked by him. So thats why I think I am gay, but thats why I am not sure either..

Oh my lord. Do you like cock in your mouth or ass? If so you're either bi or gay.

 

[tristantrotsky]

I consider myself gay because I’m attracted to other men, and I find them sexually exciting in real life. If I’m around a really hot guy, the blood will start flowing into my penis. Sometimes I find myself undressing a guy in my mind. I do so without shame or guilt. I’m checking out men all the time and wondering what their cocks might be like. All doubt about my sexuality left me last year.

Undressing a guy in your mind is never quite as good as undressing a guy in a hotel room, and going down on him...