Hello all! Any likeminded, wonderful people out there?

[Total_Clarity]

I'm a married male aged 28 from the Chicagoland area. Just thought I'd throw my hat in the ring to see if there were any folks on here such as myself who would like to get to know each other. Basically, I'm in that tired old cliche of "Sexless Marriage", although I'd hate to put that exact label on it. I would love to get to know some people on here, share some thoughts and in general, just make some new friends. If anything more than that were to develop then that's great but my opinion has always been that trust and friendship come first. If this resonates with anyone, feel free to hit me up. I also have yahoo and all that good stuff is well. Just gotta ask Hope to get this going!

 

[LadyDearest]

Tentatively picking up your fallen hat, Clarity...

24 year old married female from MN who is looking for a long-term friend/companion which may turn into something more over time...

 

[Total_Clarity]

Why thank you.....and Hello!

 

[eagleeyeshawk]

question....

oh great...is this what i have to look forward to when i get married.

i'm just curious guys, how does this problem arise, the so called sexless marriage? is it that your caught up in the chaos of children, careers, etc that stops your spouse from having sex? Whats leading to the "im too tired tonite"

just seeking to head off a problem before it manifests....

 

[Total_Clarity]

I wouldn't think it necessarily happens in every marriage. A lot of different factors come in to play. Depends on your decisions and your needs. It will always be a gamble no matter what but at the same time it's most certainly not guaranteed to pan out like that.

 

[eagleeyeshawk]

whew!

thanks clarity. there is hope!!! what steps do people take to avoid these things? i know that being married to my job is a bad thing, but i can't stop......the gig is addictive and its taken over my life....i can see how this would be a problem later, but i dont know what to do to....

if i stop working, then there will be those fights about money....

 

[LadyDearest]

Hello yourself, Clarity!


And, for what it is worth, I think that the "sexless" part of marriage largely spawns from a lack of communication and willingness to become inventive with scheduling.

Things change, kids happen, jobs become demanding, etc... It takes a lot of effort and flexibility to pull off a happily-ever-after (sex included version).

Of course, my own marriage is a little weird- so take my thoughts with a grain of salt.

 

[Lori_the_Hoosier]

My own marriage nearly foundered because of lack of communication - my husband was (is) a Trauma Surgeon with the British Army in Helmand, a Civilian Secondment from a National Health Service hospital, and they kept sending him back, and keeping him longer,and when he came back he'd just be silent, morose, only ever talk about the Nurses he worked with, eventually we stopped talking, then sharing a bed, before long we were almost living different lives. I didn't know that the stress of trying to piece kids back together day after day was driving him almost frantic with grief, and he forgot how to tell me he was hurting, and I left him, I thought he was having an affair, he thought I was seeing someone else. When his parents finally figured it out, it was almost too late, I had to get a court order to get him discharged, and now he's suffering from PTSD, really horrific nightmares, still stressed about that whole time we were drifting apart, and he's giving up medicine, he's a wreck, but at least he's home and dry. So it's easy to give up, harder to figure out why you gave up, or even see that there's a reason

 

[Total_Clarity]

Bump..