Having a bit of a brain fart...

[Starscream_UK]

Not sure why I am doing this, but probably best to get it off my chest.

The trauma of a stroke. Specifically, the aftermath of it.

It is not only a medical crisis but a shattering of the human spirit, a sudden storm that tears through the body and leaves behind a silence that words can hardly carry. The questions in your head in those quiet moments. Will I recover? Can I recover? What will “I” look like? What will my sense of self be like?

Stroke is the trauma that rewrites the script of life without permission - it interrupts, it steals, it bends what once stood straight. You “know” that you’re different, and you may never be the same as before.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently. I could call it a blip, a speed bump, an obstacle - nothing really does justice to how weirdly derailing it is.

It's been 8 months since my basal ganglia stroke and the world looks very different now. The physical effects are receding but mental trauma is very much a thing.

 

[Crankbait88]

Not to pry, but have you noticed, or has anyone else remarked that you have had a change of personality?

Good luck with your recovery. I know there can be some dark days, but press on.

 

[Starscream_UK]

Not to pry, but have you noticed, or has anyone else remarked that you have had a change of personality?

Good luck with your recovery. I know there can be some dark days, but press on.

Yeah, I was warned about that. I'm much more blunt than before and utterly intolerant of small talk. It's like all my conversations are to the point now, no flowery waffle.

Although I will burst in to tears at ridiculous things, like the dog being cute and odd things like that.

 

[Tallulah82]

My gorgeous man, I've just found this as I'm randomly scrolling pages.

As someone who's been by your side from before and after, I am truly grateful that you're still here on this earth.

You know how I feel about you. I can't possibly understand the trauma you've experienced but I am continually impressed and admiring of the strength and determination it takes you to get through each day and overcome the next hurdle, and the next, and the next.

Yes, you've changed in some ways. No, I don't think that's a bad thing. I think your self-care is much better now than before, and your lack of tolerance for inane things like small talk just means that you refuse to give your precious time to anything except what matters to you. And crying is a damned good emotional release meaning you're not carrying it inside.

I could say so much more but I'll do so in private other than to say I am and will continue to be your cheerleader, your ass-kicker, your shoulder, your friend, your whatever-you-want or need.

 

[PotNoodle79]

Sorry to hear you went through that, but also glad to see you are here and also questioning yourself and the effects. Self awareness if a huge thing in any battle. I wish you all the best.