Have you ever?

[TheEarl]

Been moved to tears by something that probably shouldn't bother you that much?

I know this should probably be on the General Board, but things disappear too quickly there and I know everyone here.

I heard today (as many of you have probably read in my signature) of the sad death of 21 y/o Nick Duncombe, an England rugby player, from meningitis. I didn't know Nick personally, or even support the club he plays for, but I've been feeling a great sadness all throughout today. His death has really made an impact on my life and the suddeness of it left me unable to do anything, but sit and think for 10 minutes.

Anyone else experienced this?

The Earl

 

[Svenskaflicka]

The moving to tears thing, yes. I get that now and then.

Sometimes from really sad or revolting thing, like the murder of hundreds of innocent animals in order to "clean up the streets" before the olympic games.

Sometimes from fictional events. Ever heard of "Zola's horse"? That's really cruel.
It's about mine workers, and the mine collapses, and there's chaos, and people are dying left and right, and in the middle of it all, there's this old, blind, mining horse, and he's crying of fear and confusion, and he remembers his time as a foal, when he could see, and he ran in the sunlight over the fields, with his mother...

I know it's just fiction, but when I read that, I jumped out of my chair and threw the book away, struggling to keep from screaming out loud insaide the library.

 

[TheEarl]

Sympathise. Same with me and the end of Flowers for Algernon.

 

[English Lady]

I am frequently moved to tears over many things be it real life or fictional.

For example, the song "bright eyes" from watership down makes me cry everytime i hear it,it so sad.

I heard about the rugby guy's death and it too made me stop and think. It is always sad when a life is taken so suddenly.

 

[NoJo]

I think that with men in particular, something resonates suddenly with a personal sadness which we may have been carrying inside us for a while, and which we were unaware of.

Sitting and thinking is very good: As my (seriously ill) father says, "sometimes I just sit and think... and sometimes I just sit."

I wrote a paragraph about my son's first birthday in WSO's thread. After reading it through , I started weeping. I've recently separated from my family, and I just realized how much I missed him. Ho hum: He's a teenager now anyway, so he's out and about a lot, and I see him almost as much as if he were still living with me.

Earl, I know you're pretty young yourself, so I'm not surprised at how much Nick Duncombe's death has affected you. I suppose you know he recovered from a broken neck when he was playing in the under 18's? Pretty unfair on a guy with that sort of perserverence to die from meningitis.

 

[hiddenself]

Originally posted by TheEarl
Sympathise. Same with me and the end of Flowers for Algernon.

Earl, I was rereading (for the umptieth time) that exact story only three nights ago!

But I can't say I relate much to deaths (or other events in the lives) of (semi)famous persons. Almost always the stories that appear in the media are sanitized and not really touching (to me).

7 astronauts die and everyone goes teary-eyed for weeks (months? years?). Thousands of pages are written for them.

7 junkies die when some drug dealer invades their burned-out "home" and executes them for not paying up or something and noone thinks twice about it. An abused and emaciated child's body is found in a locked basement and the story disappears from the media within a day or two. It's stories like these that have the stronger resonance with me. They make me reflect on how lucky, privileged, thankful I should feel to have had the life I've had.

Anyway, this is not PCness or lack of caring -- I'm just a little cynical I guess. I do get those feelings of deep sadness and loss but not from events in the lives of the rich and (or) famous.

hs

 

[TheEarl]

That's the thing. Ben Hollioake dies and my reaction is "Oh, how sad." Nick Duncombe dies and I nearly cry the first time I tell someone else the news.

Any thoughts?

The Earl

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Who's Ben Hollioake?

 

[gauchecritic]

I think it's all to do with frame of mind or 'resonance' as sub joe said. I cried when I first read 'Love Story' I cried when I first heard 'Northern Star' by Mel C but I didn't shed a single tear for Lady Diana.

I read one of the 'Discworld' series where the werewolf Angua after seeing her uncle being slain by the simple expedient of throwing a lit stick of dynamite in the air and shouting 'FETCH' has his head blown off, then turns to her beloved Carrot and asks of him "if I go wild promise me I'll die as quickly". That bastard Pratchett made me cry in the middle of a comedy.

As the 'Yankees' among us are fond of saying; go figure.

Gauche

 

[Pookie]

Earl, I think sometimes a death or tragedy really opens up our own fears to us. Sometimes it's an "in your face" reminder that death can happen to anyone at anytime.

I also agree with Hiddenself, when I think about those not as fortunate as I have been, it does make me appreciate the good things about my life.

I didn't cry for the astronauts that recently died, but I did cry for their families, especially their children.

Pookie

 

[Just_John1]

I can relate Earl

Probably the worst experience that I ever had with this is with a guy I hardly knew at work. He died in his sleep one night and the only thinkg I knew about him is he sent me jokes by Email... I sympathised with all at work and sure I felt bad, but when I read the last joke he ever sent me cried like a fucking baby, right there at my desk... out of the blue, I was totally unprepared for the emotion and it really fucked me up for a couple of days.

Seems just when you're sure that you are jaded to all life has to offer something comes and smacks you upside the head to sya "wake the fuck up!" Thank god.

JJ1

 

[susurrus]

Sometimes, I get surprised by the things that choke me up, or give me that thrilling tingle of, "Oh my god."

The end of "Executive Decision" where the soldiers all salute Kurt Russell's character.

There's a song (story actually) by C.W. McCall, of "Convoy" fame, on one of the last albums, called "Old Glory." It's a story of a boy, and someone that is only mentioned as "Her." It's a story that goes through WWII and such, and it isn't until you get to the end of the thing where the boy is now old, he's at a parade with his grandson, and the flag goes by, and you find out all along, the story's been about the flag.

I'm an Oz fan (Wizard of, not Australia, although I'd really like to visit both places). In the 1983 movie "Return to Oz," when Dorothy and Billina arrive, and Dorothy kneels down in horror and picks up a yellow brick. Billina, the hen says, "It's just a yellow brick." Dorothy responds, half-tearfully, "Billina, you don't understand. This is the yellow brick road."

In "Les Miserables" the Victor Hugo novel. There's a point where Jean Valjean finally decides to join the students at the barricade. There's a single line that I remember just chilled me, and I'm probably paraphrasing, "...and Jean Valjean entered the barricade."

There are an infinite number more, the movie, "The Cure," several of Stan Rogers' songs, the list goes on and on.

Oh, in High School, we did a play version of "Flowers for Algernon." I was Charlie Gordon. I have retarded relatives. It had special significance for me. Daniel Keyes never wrote another work of fiction after that story. It was his first and only.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

TheEarl,

The death of any young athlete is tinged with pathos. In this case, Nick was also your contemporary. That's a rugged combination for anyone to handle.

But you're a writer. The moment you feel capable of it, start putting down your feelings. Believe me, it'll help you deal with, and understand, your emotions.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[hiddenself]

Daniel Keyes never wrote another work of fiction after that story. It was his first and only.

That does not seem to be right according to
http://www.danielkeyesauthor.com/

hs

 

[SuperShyGuy]

I heard today (as many of you have probably read in my signature) of the sad death of 21 y/o Nick Duncombe, an England rugby player, from meningitis. I didn't know Nick personally, or even support the club he plays for, but I've been feeling a great sadness all throughout today. His death has really made an impact on my life and the suddeness of it left me unable to do anything, but sit and think for 10 minutes.

Earl, I think sometimes a death or tragedy really opens up our own fears to us. Sometimes it's an "in your face" reminder that death can happen to anyone at anytime.

I think most sports fans always get hit hard when an athlete dies or gets very ill. A lot of guys conciously or unconciously "idolize" sports stars. It's the same thing with rock stars or whatever else turns your crank.

I'm guessing you're British and don't know much about ice hockey but there is a story from last year that touched all hockey fans. Saku Koivu, a finnish born player and captain of the storied Montreal Canediens franchise was on his way to the start of training camp last season. During the flight from Finnland to Montreal he was having severe pain in his abdomen. Eventually the pain got so severe he ended up in an emergency room. At first appendicitis was suspected but what they discovered was much worse: Saku Koivu had abdominal cancer at 26. The doctors gave him a 50/50 chance to live.

It was a stunnung moment for the hockey world. Here was a man at the peak of his career and life, struck completly out of the blue with a life-threatening condition. It's somewhat ironic because one of the biggest charities sponsered by the National Hockey League is the "Hockey Fights Cancer" charity.

At one point during the season, it became obvious that Saku would beat his cancer and he was present for a game one night at the Molson Centre (Montreal's home arena). He was introduced and walked out to centre ice. He had gone bald and had dropped some weight but he looked strong, healthy. I kid you not when they introduced him at centre ice the standing ovation he recieved lasted EIGHT MINUTES! I have no shame in saying seeing him back brought a tear or two to my eye.

Words just can't describe the moment, but I'll try. I think most of our lives have been touched by cancer in one form or another and I think watching Saku win his fight brought hope into a lot of lives. I have an Aunt fighting with cancer right now, we all seem to know someone who is fighting cancer these days.

Well to give this story a truly happy ending, Saku returned sooner than anyone imagined, making a full recovery before the end of the season. And although it seems trivial in comparison, he was one of the league's best performers during the playoffs last season. His recovery continues to inspire many.

What happened to Saku was a real slap in the face about how harsh life can be. Any one at any moment could fall ill. One moment you're a multi-million dollar athlete. The next you're just another guy battling cancer. It's the harsh moments like these that make us the saddest, but how we deal with them is what makes us stronger.

 

[English Lady]

Gauche..I cried at that bit too! damn Pratchett toying with our emotions, he's just meant to make us laugh right

 

[Un-registered]

... An abused and emaciated child's body is found in a locked basement and the story disappears from the media within a day or two...

Not in Belgium they don't. It must be eight or nine years now and there are still "ne m'oubliez pas" posters and white ribbons around. Dutroux's trial is still getting widespread coverage.

Who's Ben Hollioake?

He was an England cricketer.

 

[Guest]

Been moved to tears by something that probably shouldn't bother you that much?

All the time. I hope smiles can soon grace your face.

 

[wildsweetone]

i'm sorry for your loss, Earl

I second Rumple Foreskin's comments. I too suggest you write your thoughts and feelings about the death of the rugby player. You may find it easier to write it in the form of a letter to him.

I'm a believer that everything that happens, happens for a reason. Sometimes I don't see or understand the reason until a long time after the event.

A few years ago, I was working on a one to one basis with a 5 year old special needs boy, he had cerebral palsy. One of his problems was that he didn't yet have speech, so communication was made through various means... Often he'd tug at my skirt, or poke me in the ribs or anything that would get my attention.

I only worked with him for eight weeks. That was eight weeks of day in and day out work, from self care through to the ultimate in school work i.e. writing I was his voice most of the time.

He was such a happy boy, the whole school loved having him around and he played with everyone.

I arrived at work one Monday morning to be told that he had died the previous day. There had been no specific reason for his dying, his cerebral palsy hadn't caused it, he didn't have a bug or virus. He simply died.

It took me months to get over his death. He had been as one of my own children to me. I'd run through the gamut of emotions that we do with our own kids, the laughter, the anger, the sadness, the fun...

When I could see clearly again, I wrote. I wrote a letter to him. I had discovered that he'd taught me an important lesson that I had needed to learn. So I wrote to him and thanked him for being in my life, for teaching me something of life while he was here, and for showing me what it was I needed to learn.

It helped immensly to write that letter. I never showed it to anyone, it was personal for him and I.

So, you could try writing Nick a letter. Nobody need see it except yourself. You can keep it or destroy it afterwards. But, it will help.

 

[TheEarl]

Thanks all.

The Earl

Svens: Ben Hollioake was young English cricketer who died earlier this year after wrapping his car around a pylon.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

OK, humor the blonde: what's a pylon? (I'm too tired to check the dictionary.)

Oh, and Earl... check my title, will ya?

 

[TheEarl]

Svensk: I called you svens. I'm too lazy to use your entire name, so I'll just keep adding a letter until it's acceptable. Unless S is acceptable. A pylon is something that holds up electricity or telephone lines.

The Earl

 

[susurrus]

Re: Daniel Keyes

I stand corrected. I had read somewhere that it had been his only fictional endeavor. Apparently whatever source I'd been reading was in error as well.

Thank you.

S.

 

[Guest]

music...

Earle-

For some reason it is music that opens a direct line to my emotions... There are songs (Soldier's Song, The Good Stuff and The Girl are three recent ones) that ambush me and I weep.

The news is a source of pain for me... I don't watch it anymore. I think it desensitizes us to the tragedy and pain around us. I was brought up short when my second daughter (6 at the time) heard a news report about seven members of a family being killed in a highway accident. Her face crumpled and she wept. She then told me that we needed to pray for the people they left behind. She drew a card and I found out where the memorial service was being held so she could send it.

We are so frail and limited. The world is a hard place. (Okay, I'm crying now...)


b

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Svensk: I called you svens. I'm too lazy to use your entire name, so I'll just keep adding a letter until it's acceptable. Unless S is acceptable.

The Earl

Svensk means male Swede.
Svenska means female Swede.

Too lazy? Young people of today! Why, when I was your age..! OK, how about just SF, then?