Have you ever had 'Domination block"?

[jbeee112]

I'm referring to a condition that is similar to "writers block". I've had all sorts of ideas and thoughts on how to please/punish/control a submissive when I first ventured into this lifestyle, then suddenly..nothing or very little.

Have I just become bored with the normal BDSM things? Have I lost my creativity? Has this happened to you? If so, how did you overcome it?

Signed,

Blocked Dom

 

[FireKrystals]

It is normal for everyone at some point to become bored with something. My advice? Research research research. Try watching some videos, cartoons, reading stories etc etc. Try to find something to spark your curiosity again, to get your creative juices flowing again. Try to find something someone else may have done that makes you go "Ohh I want to do that" There is nothing wrong with using others inspiration to inspire you.In fact I think most writers/actors/etc etc would be honored knowing they inspired others to do the same thing,or try the same thing. And once you get past the "block" ideas will come to you again.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I say; "Have any fantasies, darling? What can I do you for?"

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

I can't speak to "Dom block" exactly, but one of the best things I have read for understanding and clearing creative blocks was the book Creative Fire by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD.

That, and drinking more water never hurts.

Good luck.

 

[knot_sweet]

Last time I got kinky block, I had my partner pick a BDSM story he really liked off Lit and read it to me while we were out to lunch.

Gave me some idea of what he wanted and was embarrasing enough that he got off on the mild humiliation of it.

 

[CBM514]

While I haven't, my wife has from time to time...stealing ideas from Lit stories has helped. Also we've strayed a little from the traditional concept I guess, but I've sketched out a few ideas in advance and sent them to her

You could also do variations on a theme (burglar gets caught Breaking into a dominatrix house, traveling sales man gets more than he expected, etc)

Also don't be afraid to "push the envelope" a little and try things that were previously a "soft stop"...you may find that the line has moved a little over time

 

[Netzach]

THIS is when I use checklists, either with the person in question or just on my own. Also don't be afraid to revisit really tame silly stuff.

 

[spankedboy]

Whenever my mistress was bored, she would have me recount my punishments to her, and exactly why I was being punished, while I would be naked in her presence. It never failed to stimulate her.

 

[Rainbow123]

I can't help, I am afraid. Am in my first d/s relationship and am on FIRE!!!

 

[VladHarkonnen]

Don't put too much pressure on yourself to come up with new and exciting things. You don't want it to start feeling like work. I mean, really, there's only so much to do between your turn ons and hers. But while you have, more or less, the same ingredients to work with, you can always mix those up in different ways. Different venues/environments can be good and yes, as Stella said...you can always ask about her fantasies and see what you two come up with together.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Oh, hell yeah, I've had Dom block!

Being a good D is a creative act. Like all creativity, it can't flow perpetually. It takes fuel, and cultivation, and inevitable fallow times. The waters slow to a trickle depending on the events in your lives, your moods, and maybe, college football.

I echo the use of lists that Netz suggested, liberal stealing, and I share Curious' enthusiasm for "The Creative Fire." Terrific field guide to creativity.

I would also add that I have never considered D/s to be a thing a PYL does to a pyl. To me, it's a collaborative creative act. Going it alone can be exhausting (even Willy Wonka eventually had to recruit a successor.).

Like any partnership, sometimes one side breathes life into the play. Don't be afraid to give up some of your D control in order to move the improv forward. Exchange some interesting questions and say yes to whatever happens.

 

[kiwi_submissive]

I have always found getting back to the basics helps. It doesn't always have to be new and limit pushing and sometimes going back over things you have tried and both enjoyed, perfecting them and just enjoying them takes alot of pressure off.

 

[DVS]

I'm referring to a condition that is similar to "writers block". I've had all sorts of ideas and thoughts on how to please/punish/control a submissive when I first ventured into this lifestyle, then suddenly..nothing or very little.

Have I just become bored with the normal BDSM things? Have I lost my creativity? Has this happened to you? If so, how did you overcome it?

Signed,

Blocked Dom

I can't say for sure that it's really happened to me, but the way you describe it, maybe it has. There are rare times when I don't enjoy some things in my life, so I take a break. It's not that I don't enjoy it any more, it's just that I know it's time to take a break. BDSM sex is one of those things.

I don't know how long of a period you are talking about, but if it hasn't been long, you might just need to step back from it for a little while. If this is what's going on, you will eventually get the urges again.

I don't know why this happens. Maybe the brain just needs to take a break. And if this is the same thing that you're talking about, I do know that when the urge comes back, it's like everything is hot and new again. That's something to look forward to.