Have you ever driven a shit car?

[Mike_Yates]

Have you ever driven a "shit car" or in other words, an automobile that was rife with mechanical problems, constantly breaking down, and always in the shop getting repaired?

Please tell us about your shit car experience.

 

[oggbashan]

Yes.

Back in the late 1960s I owned a Ford Prefect E493A. It had a twisted chassis from an accident years before I bought it. That put a strain on the back axle which couldn't be fitted in correct alignment. A back axle from a scrapyard would last about six weeks before breaking. The car had cost me the equivalent of 20 US dollars. A replacement axle cost about $5 - plus my labour to replace it.

I was sitting in our local public house with my friends drinking beer and playing cards for small sums of money. One of my friends was complaining about his car that used far too much oil. I mentioned my car that broke back axles. The group of us were discussing which of the two cars was 'the worst'. They concluded that my car was the worst because whenever the back axle broke it was immobile, while my friend's car could still be driven.

The two of us couldn't agree so someone suggested that we should swap cars. We did, swapping ownership documentation, rearranging insurance cover etc. The next day I drove his former car down our local High Street. It was leaving a trail of oily smoke until I stopped at a red traffic light. When the light turned to green I pressed the accelerator. The engine spluttered and coughed. Behind me the cloud of blue smoke obscured the whole road and rose above the shop fronts.

Over the next few days I tried to measure and reduce the oil consumption. There were no leaks. All the oil went out through the engine at a rate of one Imperial gallon for every thirty miles. I tried thicker oil. That made no difference because my friend had already been using the thickest engine oil he could buy. What the car really needed was the cylinders rebored and oversize pistons fitted but the car's value didn't justify that.

I bought an evil product called Krause Bond that was supposed to temporarily compensate for worn cylinder bores. The instructions were that the car should be in a large open area; the engine should be warm, preferably hot; the spark plugs should be removed and equal quantities of Krause Bond should be squeezed through the plug holes. The spark plugs should be replaced and the engine turned over a few times, preferably with the ignition off and using the starting handle. The engine should be left for a quarter of an hour. The spark plugs should be removed and new 'hotter' plugs fitted. The engine should be started and left to idle for ten minutes. "There will be some smoke for the first few minutes."

Starting the engine wasn't easy. The Krause Bond fouled them. I had to take the spark plugs out, immerse them in petrol, clean them, and then burn off the excess petrol. I did that four times before the engine started and ran very roughly before all four cylinders fired in sequence.

"There will be some smoke for the first few minutes."

That was an understatement. The discharge from the exhaust looked like an oil well on fire. I stood upwind as the smoke drifted downwind for hundreds of yards.

The effect of the Krause Bond was to reduce the oil consumption from one Imperial gallon for 30 miles to one Imperial gallon for eighty miles, but that only lasted for a week.

The next Friday evening, while the Krause Bond was working, I returned to the public house for another evening with my friends. My other friend arrived on foot. Why?

Driving home, he had dropped the clutch too fiercely at the first traffic light - and had broken the back axle.

We agreed that my original car was 'the worst'.

Both of us bought different cars in the next couple of weeks.

 

[ishtat]

I drove an Austin A55 pick up in my youth which broke half shafts regularly. I could change them in roughly the time it took to change a wheel, and always kept a couple of spares in the boot.

Another neat bit of maintenance was doing a decoke on my fist car a Rover 75. The engine was basically worn out so on advice from a country mechanic I added half a pint of TVO (Tractor Vaporizing Oil) to about 2 gallons of petrol to fuel a pre heated very hot engine. Drove it at high revs in bottom gear up a steep hill a few times. It cleaned the engine a treat but polluted the neighborhood with black smoke for days.

TVO is very similar to Jet Fuel.

The Austin was rubbish but I have fond memories of the Rover.

 

[doowdniw]

Ford Granada. Res ipsa loquitur.

 

[Mike_Yates]

http://www.toywonders.com/productcart/pc/catalog/1582346380_2-Crap-Cars-Book-Richard-Porter.jpg

 

[thør]

Hauling honey.

It's a crap job with crap equipment.

 

[legally_non_blonde]

learnt to drive on an el camino and it personified shit

 

[pfflyerhot]

Listen...

Piece of Shit Car

This song changed my opinion of Adam Sandler...

 

[oggbashan]

A long time ago I wanted to hire a car. The only one available was an Austin Allegro with its notorious quartic (Square) steering wheel.

http://www.gocompare.com/coveredcontent/coveredimages/324120/Allegro-2.png

It was a dreadful car, even worse than my in-laws' Morris Marina.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/86/Morris.marina.arp.750pix.jpg

 

[thefishfryer]

I thought you meant this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcD5UuEFugQhttp://

 

[oggbashan]

My car mechanic is restoring one of these:

http://www.3wheelers.com/reliantrialto.jpg

I tried it. I could just about get into the driver's seat but there is no way I would drive more than five miles in it. It is very uncomfortable and very vulnerable on the road. Its body is fibreglass that shatters on impact.

The only advantages it has in the UK are:

1. It can be driven on a motorcycle license. The driver doesn't have to have passed a car driving test.

2. Its annual Road Tax is very cheap by comparison with most small cars.

3. Its fuel consumption is very good.

But it is and was a crap car. It survived because it was better than many other competing three-wheeler cars.

The Bond Minicar was a competitor. It had even smaller wheels and the early models didn't bother with any suspension at the rear - just the air in the tyres! If you could get into it - I couldn't - you were severely shaken on every bump in the road.

http://www.oldclassiccar.co.uk/photos-nantwich/41.jpg

A better idea was the Bond Bug. It was a two-seater with luggage space for a small vanity case. It could do 75mph if you were insane enough to try. She is a small blonde!

http://www.influx.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/bond_bug.jpeg

 

[Mike_Yates]

Back when I was a kid during the late 1990's my parents bought a red Plymouth Breeze that broke down at least 15 times within the first year of owning it.

It was a used car, and was obviously a lemon.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6e/1998-1999_Plymouth_Breeze_Expresso.jpg

 

[Leigh81]

Yes, my first car back in 2003 was a 1986 Chevy Cavalier Z24.

L

 

[Eyereadtoo]

Yep, a 1972 shit gold, faux ragtop Buick my father bought from a neighbor because "it's got $200 worth of good tires."

Try to get pussy in that.

I dare you.