Have any phobias ever got in the way?

[snoozebutton]

As I was getting a second set of MRI pictures I was talking to another patient who was after me. We got to chatting on claustrophobia as neither of us suffered from it it was floating around in my head as I was getting scanned. I have a fear of heights and unknown dogs, was biten twice as a child both times right after was told dog wouldn't harm a flea, so haven't had a situation come up yet. But wondered if a submissive would overcome her fear to please her Master, this assuming he didn't know she had this fear, or would his/her primal side prevent him/her. Was just a random thought and was wondering if any had experiences to share.

 

[Ebonyfire]

<snip> But wondered if a submissive would overcome her fear to please her Master, this assuming he didn't know she had this fear, or would his/her primal side prevent him/her. Was just a random thought and was wondering if any had experiences to share.

I am not a sub, but I am claustrophobic myself since I contracted asthma a few years ago. I would never exploit a phobia of one of my subs. Some phobias have a medical and/or psychological impact.

I kinda see my role as kinda like a physician in that I am bound to "do no harm."

Eb

 

[snoozebutton]

I agree Eb that's why I said he didn't know. Would never suggust harm but just wondered if any had to face fears that way.

 

[dragonlace]

I am thinking that any fear can pose a problem if no one is willing to take a look at it and grow and expand. Some fears are rooted in experience and others in lies...... i used to fear relationships because i didn't want to get hurt again but learned to overcome it because the risk is worth the gain. I would suppose that it all depends on what the individual has to gain from it and how deeply rooted the problem is but most people can overcome any fear if they really want to.

 

[tyiana]

phobias

This is my first post to the group, so please forgive a newbie if things get a bit jumbled.
I am a sub and do have one big phobia, flying insects, I totally freak out when one touches me. My dom knows this and is very careful when I am restrained to make sure nothing get near me, especially what we call 'daddy long legs', if one is in the area when I am restrained he warns me then quickly removes it from the area. It has happened once that one landed on me and I had to be untied and calmed down before things could go any further. I do find that this does make be slightly apprehensive when I am about to enter a state of bondage but I trust my dom implicitly and know he will always be on the look out for these things

 

[snoozebutton]

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad you had a good experience with your Dom. I truly believe there are some fears you just can't let go off and you may be able to lessen them but there is no shame in having them.

 

[tyiana]

phobias

yes I agree with you there Snoozebutton, I suppose I can just handle the fear a bit better, but it is as you say still there, funnily enough I know exactly where it stemmed from, but it has not eliminated it, I also know that it is irrational but that does not help either, these phobias can be really weird at times!

 

[snoozebutton]

By the way tyiana you did just fine not jumbled at all. Welcome, look forward to see you add your particular spice to future postings.

 

[tyiana]

thank you

Thanks Snoozebutton, me too, beginning to feel quite liberated

 

[serijules]

I have a few phobias that have or could present a problem.

One is my sense of sight. I cannot have my sense of sight taken away. Obviously this is easily preventable by simply not using blindfolds, however, I was once in a scene and had my eyes closed for most of it. When I opened my eyes after the sensation stopped, the lights were out. I completely freaked out. I'm not scared of the dark or anything LOL, but since I am deaf, my sight is my hearing (I read lips) so having that taken away is far too much for me to handle. I couldn't hear what was going on around me so I wasn't sure why the lights were out, why the scene had stopped, and who was in the room still. (they had turned off the lights to light a candle and it had gone out right before I opened my eyes) Since I wasn't expecting to be put in complete darkness, it was not a pleasant surprise.

I also have the fear of bugs thing, but it's limited to spiders. If one ever landed on me while I was tied up...I would likely pass out from panic. Never had that happen though.

 

[snoozebutton]

I must say this is getting to be a learning experience never thought of the effect time may have on a scence till you mentioned the burnt out candle. How something so simple could keep a scence pleasurable. Thank you for the insight serijules.

 

[serijules]

Ah I remembered another one last night...

An ex boyfriend tried to choke me once, so I have issues with hands around my neck, or anything close to my neck. This is something I really try to keep my reactions under control though, because I don't want to ruin a scene with my fears. One time I was sceneing with a dom and he came up behind me and buckled a collar around my neck for the scene. It startled me and I nearly freaked when his hands were suddenly around my neck, but I calmed myself down and pushed myself into a submissive mindframe by using the collar as a reminder of how I was submitting to him for this scene. Using the sensation of hands/collar around my neck to push me deeper into that mindset, rather than panicking, did work rather well.

I have another friend that is fond of putting his arm around my neck from behind me, forcing my chin up to expose my neck and shoulder, and laying little bites all over my neck and harder ones that leave teeth marks and bruises on my shoulder. I love it, it's an incredible sensation with him, and if anyone else tried it I would likely react violently rather than turning into a puddle, so the first few moments after he puts his arm around me is a little tense, but I use the same "force myself to realize how submissive it makes me feel" method and it turns out alright.

I think some fears are so ingrained that they will not be ok in any situation no matter what you do, but some can be controlled with a little effort. Fears are not logical or rational though, so I do feel it is a very hard thing to force yourself to overcome them in a situation, and I'm always proud of myself when I do.

 

[SexyChele]

I am claustrophobic. (Your story about the MRI brought back some very bad experiences - I've had a total of 5, and have sworn I will never again get inside those tubes!) I also cannot have my jaw stretched open, such as with a ball or penise gag. And I do have a big fear of choking, so I do not engage in breath play of any sort.

I tell a prospective Dom of all of these things. They are hard limits, period. I do not try to overcome to please him, as they elicit a physical response that I have no control over - and neither will he. These are unsafe areas for me to go into, and a Dom who cannot respect that upfront going into the relationship will not be considered for play.

 

[snoozebutton]

Thanks for posting Sexy Chele sharing life stories with others is the main reason I came to this board and I must say I feel closer than ever before with the feeling of family. I agree with you as well evevyone has limits that should never be crossed to prove themselves.

 

[Desdemona]

SB, this is an interesting question. I have few true phobias. I don't particularly like heights and have a fear of falling but that only occurs when I'm on a cliff or on top of a mountain (I can trace it to something that happened to me as a child). Otherwise, I'm fine. I'm just not interested in a scene that would purposefully involve those things. So, my answer is no. I'd just say that's a hard limit for me and move on.

 

[James G 5]

I have run in to several submissives who disliked or feared belts as toys due to memories of childhood punishment they evoked

One carried it to the level of a phobia, she couldn't be in the room while I undressed........even if she looked away, the SOUND would make her burst out in tears.

Conversely, I had another who LOVED belts but couldn't look at a crop. Her father was a horse trainder & was in the habit of using a crop to "discipline" the kids.

In both those cases, I wouldn't have DREAMED of challenging their issues. They were beyond limites, and mucking around with such deep-seated pshycological traumas is certainly out of my league & could have only created problems.

 

[snoozebutton]

I am lucky so far as I haven't run into any issues involving a deep set fear. Nice to see the discussion growing and still evolving.

 

[sheath]

I have an incredible fear of water. It stems from a very bad experience when I was a child...walking near a lake or the ocean brings that memory back with a vengeance.

I like being very submissive, but I think that crossing that line of using water in any way would not be possible for me. No matter how badly I would want to please, no matter how much I tried to convince myself, I'm sure that my sheer emotional reaction would take over.

So...water is OUT. No matter how badly I want to please, that is the uncrossable line.

S.

 

[Snoozebutton2]

Shameless Bump

OK was looking through old posts and thought was worth seeing new responses.

 

[canadiancutie]

I have a fear of animal products. It will not be confronted. And I wouldnt consider trying to get rid of it for a dommish person.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Any Sir or Mistress of mine would know about my fears before we began playing. An understanding of the deeper stuff like that is ESSENTIAL to my trust in that person, and without trust, there is no play.

Would I overcome them to please someone? That depends entirely on the Dom/me. If they can make me trust them that much, and reassure their presence that much, and my safety that much... yeah, maybe.

My current Sir has moved me past phobias thus far, and I'm grateful for it. We have, however, been together four years, and I know he would never hurt me.

 

[shy slave]

Most people here know my fears:

Blindfolds

Blindfolds


Blindfolds


Did I mention blindfolds?


But I will overcome it

I just have to talk myself into believing its not a fear


And most of you know I can talk a good line in bullshit

 

[sphynx's dragon]

Hopefully this doesn't come across too odd but...I have a few phobias kinda. Some of them She knows about. some She doesn't. It's odd cause they are because of things that happened when I was a child but at the same time those same things have engendered a burning drive to not live in fear. I will not allow it. Part of my childhood was spent living in fear every day and I vowed not to live that way. So as an adult I actively confront fear, I still have them, can't seem to get them to go away, but I won't let them infringe on my life. IE, I'm terrified of heights, yet I have free climbed a cliff, why? Because it terrified me. I've calmed down some since but I stil will go skydiving at some point. I know that's not a BDSM example I just don't feel comforable airing those particular scars as of yet. Anyway, it's not for Her that I face them, it's for me.

 

[FurryFury]

I spent Friday with a lovely friend of mine. We went swimming and to lunch with our little boys. (Her's are 1 and 4, mine is 12. Great boys!)

She and her husband do a lot of things. Some of which I haven't yet tried. We were talking and it seems she discovered she had some claustrophobia during some of their play. So yeah, that has altered what they are doing.

She and her wonderful husband go to a nearby Fetish con every year. I wish I had the moxy to do that. They want me to go with. We hear this year will be the last one too. She is the one that sent me the link on Figging! So I had to thank her profusely! Now that she has heard my account she is even more eager to try it.

So far I haven't discovered any phobias that get in the way here except maybe my husband's picture taking one.

Fury

 

[babiesmiles]

I have airplanes phobia , just wathing the signals for the airport make me feel sick . Although I've flied several times , every time I'm compelled to do it I feel bad the whole journey and some days after , so if I can I carefully avoid them b.