Has this happened to anyone else?

[Dillinger]

I was sitting at my computer - actually checking the posts here at Lit - when suddenly the keyboard jumped off the desk and struck me on the head. I mean fuck... and ouch!!! Well...

I realized in that instant that my cheesecake should be more than just food - it should have decorations, maybe some walnuts. After all, being who I was, my cheesecake should be state of the art.

I went into the kitchen, being careful to duck under the cross-fire in the living room, but I must have made a wrong turn somewhere because instead of being in the kitchen I found myself locked in a small room in the Tower of London... wearing a dress. It wasn't long before I realized that I was married to Henry the VIII. Shortly thereafter I was executed.

All in all, not a good day.

 

[lavender]

 

[lilminx]

I think you two need to lay off the LSD.

 

[Jean Val Jean]

LSD

does not produce those kinds of effects,

Now hypoglycemia on the other hand...



















I know, I know, five fingers...


Grow up for Pete's sake.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

I think you two need to lay off the LSD.

If thats what they are on I need some.


All I did was at 2am playing Euchre... all of a sudden I was on Degrassi, and seeing Caitlin. Then I had a glass of milo, and got down and dirty in NY with my spirit twin... and went to bed at 8 am.

 

[Wanderer D]

Lol. Reading posts like this can just be *so* wrong when you're tired.

 

[modest mouse]

There was this time when I ate all this nutmeg and then.......

 

[felixdakat]

three down 96,834 to go

it's funny you mention red square because i was melting cheese over an english muffin in my toaster oven on my way to fenway park. suddenly i realized that i wasn't using a toaster oven at all, it had become a microwave oven right before my eyes. well let me tell you what a mess cheese becomes when it gets in your vacume cleaner. the stains on my floor are still there, thank god for wooden nicles!

 

[StondTmplPilot]

Hypoglycemia is not a joking matter

 

[lavender]

 

[cymbidia]

Flashbacks, Dill.
Not as fun as the first time round, are they?


Just wave your hand in front of your face a little, do a little calm cool trailin for awhile, DON'T drive your car anywhere, have something to eat, something to drink, something else to eat (Salty snacky stuff with interesting surfaces and lighter than air capabilities... umm... no... no no no... nothing from your pantry will actually float and we both know it.) You know the routine.

And no, your hands will not melt into the keyboard if you use it. Trust me on this one.

 

[Desert Amazon]

 

[felixdakat]

i had no idea, it all seems so clear to me now, the colors the slow movement, but what i don't understand is why is woody harelson standing on his head? i didn't even know that he came around these parts except on thanks giving and chinese new year. so tell me more about that panda bear, where did it come from, and how did it get a hold of my grandmas underwear?

 

[Jean Val Jean]

STP

Don't I know it!

I was in a competition, going through my kata when the next thing I remember was, "That's a breath mint, it's sugarless." Evryone says I was doing so excellent, and then I slowed down, and then I passed out.

Must be my Indian blood.

 

[Dillinger]

Well - you'd think things would calm down after all that... I figured on a productive day - I finally make it back home and realize my My house is falling apart from all the heavy gun play that took place in the living room (I believe Killermuffin did most of the damage, in fact I KNOW she's the one who took out the grandfather clock)... so I get a hammer and try to fix it. The Hulk offers to help and together we are able to complete the job before the day ends. I buy the Hulk a beer. He turns out to be a really nice guy. (I always thought he would be). So I decide to walk him home, its a dangerous neighborhood, after all, and I wouldn't want him to get hurt.

On my way back home from the Hulk's house I see James Mason walking down the street. He gives me 60¢ to buy myself a frozen dessert but with tax it comes to 69¢ and I don't have any more money.

Later on, back at home, I see someone going down the drain in my bathtub. I try to follow her but she won't let me. In the background I can hear my next door neighbor singing "Starlight, Starbright" in German. I go next door and make love to her a couple of times and one of those times it's like spaghetti.

Afterwards I take a nap and I dream that we are all wearing blue striped pants, even Owen.

 

[Dillinger]

The best part is that is all we're wearing - blue striped pants - while that isn't all that enticing on Owen - it sure is quite delightful on all the women here...

 

[Rubyfruit]

You have an awesome imagination, Dillinger.

 

[Saturn Return]

psychotropic dreams..

It's not his active imagination.

Dude, lay off the aether mang..
~smiles~

 

[OUTSIDER]

Hypoglycemia is not a joking matter

Probably not but go ahead anyway

 

[Dillinger]

Thing is - all this strangeness isn't - it's quite normal. Y'all just need to open your eyes and look around...

The bullfrog and sleazy doves,
Lay dying in the cave.
All flimsy were the boring loves,
And the Rome baths with Dave.

Beware the Chinese wok, you nun,
The laws that fight, the eggs that hatch,
Beware the hot tub dirt,
And the dubious candy batch. .

 

[Kaos_Star]

no i can't say that my keybourd has ever tried to kill me, but i keep my guard up

 

[mig]

Probably not but go ahead anyway

You obviously don't know what Hypoglycemia is or you wouldn't
joke about it.

It is a constant danger to Diabetes sufferers who inject insulin
and it can kill.

 

[Dillinger]

And did you know that this fine-tune feedback circuit of erythropoiesis... maintains and adjusts erythrocyte levels... to meet the oxygen needs of the peripheral tissues... helps prevent anemia. Its true, look it up. Not only that but I've got styling aids from a line of products I'm already loyal to.

 

[Dillinger]

Blackbird singing in the dead of night...
(You were only waiting for this moment to arise.)

 

[Black_Bird]

Ah, but what would you be? A tank of gas and a half lit match in the hand of a fully lit piss pants clown. Get your hands off those children, clown.
What a blow hard! Hardly blown, twice fucked, once sucked and diddly do da day! What a day for baseball.

I think I'll hit the mime across the street; she likes the clown too much.