Haiku

[Winter_Fare]

Hope when my time comes
That the dicking of the clock
Will leave me fulfilled

 

[stxjimmy]

I prefer the original artist's choice. After all, it's not your piece, and your input was neither sought nor required. You're welcome to write your own anytime, and the rest of us will undoubtedly choose not to be so rude as to correct your work unasked... unless you get the syllables wrong. See below.

And I never labeled you an asshole. I didn't say stxjimmy was like an asshole; I said opinions are like assholes. It's a well-known idiom, but in case you don't know it, it goes like this: "opinions are like assholes: everybody has one, and they're both full of the same thing."

Whose work have I corrected? I asked a question.
This is a discussion board.

 

[Winter_Fare]

Whose work have I corrected? I asked a question.
This is a discussion board.

Come on @stxjimmy
It's a thread of daft poems
Critiques go in here

 

[Voboy]

From the OP's words:
"Evocative allusions."
Literal? Boring.

 

[Voboy]

I asked a question.

Answer: no, nyet, nein.
The writer wants "fuck," not "swing."
So... no. Not at all.

 

[AlinaX]

Play nice, now.
Swing's a bit obvious unless you want to play with the meaning.

we are time's cuckolds
mere spectators to the swing
of a loving wife

 

[DouglasFinney]

To swing or to fuck
Kick out your legs and lean back
My hands on your ass

 

[Voboy]

The image, so rich:
Time fucks us all, in the end.
Take that as you please.

 

[stickygirl]

Anger in Haiku
Glinting katanas at dawn
Cherry blossom red

 

[stickygirl]

Gripping her spread spheres
Pierced by rigid slick manhood
Jizz up her bum. Bosh

 

[Voboy]

It belongs within.
Perversity is boundless:
Some prefer without.

 

[AlinaX]

a shadowy vale
between celestial spheres
welcomes all who come

 

[Voboy]

Delights of Sodom.
Dark, musty, the crack beckons.
Exit-only? No.

 

[AlinaX]

what a doomful crack
where rings are born and borne too
to a swift climax

 

[JuanaSalsa]

Gone for just a day
An explosion of haiku
Greets me on return

 

[JuanaSalsa]

A beautiful sight
The wit, snark, and sarcasm
Lovely poetry

 

[Handley_Page]

Branches of the trees
sway in the hot sunshine.
We await the storm.

 

[AlinaX]

strawberries in pots
what oral pleasures await
our impatient souls

 

[stickygirl]

Scruffy girl in blue
Furled wings awaiting fair winds
Adventures Hannah!

 

[AlinaX]

Butterfly Fly Away?

 

[Voboy]

Moth flutters too close.
Bye bye, wingéd annoyance.
Demise: dusty smear.

 

[AlinaX]

son fucking his moth-
a bestial crime indeed
let us say nothing...

 

[JuanaSalsa]

Sky weeps bitter tears
Wetting down the thirsty Earth
Reaps love from sorrow

 

[Winter_Fare]

Clouds running westward
Raining a kaleidoscope
Chasing the sunset

 

[AlinaX]

waiting for a bus
and hoping the battery
will last until home