Guys into SPH, did you start out as genuinely embarrassed or ashamed?

[P0peye]

I was first introduced to SPH as a teenager when I was forced to accept the immense disparity between the size of my tiny penis and that of my best friend Larry's immense cock. We later measured his cock as being over 8 inches long and THICK! Whereas mine was (and still is) barely 3 inches long and quite thin. At the time I thought his cock was average and mine was minuscule. I later learned that his cock was unusually big, but that mine was indeed, extremely small. I had no choice but to accept that these were the cards I was dealt with by nature and to make the best of it. I joined with Larry in ridiculing my mini member and in recognizing his sexual superiority over me by agreeing to become his personal cocksucker and giving him blowjobs whenever and wherever he wanted one.
I decided that if this was to be my lot that I would strive to become the best cocksucker I could possibly be. I watched blowjob porn in order to study the cock sucking techniques demonstrated by the female porn performers, particularly their ability to deep throat the huge cocks of their male partners. Larry enthusiastically assisted me in my endeavor by energetically forcing my head down onto his cock whenever I gave him his frequent blowjobs and I eventually was able to accept his huge cock all the way down into my throat.
I was never troubled by a strong gag reflex and quickly came to love the sensation of having my throat completely stuffed full with Larry's thick cock. I was unable to breathe with his cock blocking my airway, but I learned to tolerate being deprived of oxygen while his cock was in my throat and to use my tongue and my throat muscles to squeeze and massage the cock filling my throat for as long as possible to encourage him to reach orgasm and ejaculate his semen directly into my esophagus. I missed tasting his cum, but I loved being inseminated with my throat serving as a surrogate vagina.

 

[Justynewhitney]

My 33 year old niece and I have very candid and sexual conversations in text and on the phone. She sends me nudes and even a couple of masturbation videos. Her clit is very small and we were talking about it. She asked me to be honest and tell her the size of my dick. I told her almost 4 inches hard and less than an inch soft. She commented that she thought that was average. I know she said that to make me not feel bad. I asked her to make a SPH video. She was so good that I actually felt ashamed, which just made me cum more than I have in years. I feel dirty talking to her knowing I have a small dick. She said it does not qualify as a cock but as a pee pee.

 

[Mrbingo1976]

I'm into SPH, I genuinely get turned on by it. It wasn't always that way though.

I wasn't aware penis size was really a "big" deal until I think my early teen years. At the time we had the internet by then and all used it, but I wasn't really looking up penis size statistics or anything at that point. It was still pretty new at that time. But we did start talking about it among friends. None of us new what a normal size was, big or small, or what it was supposed to be when we became adults. What I do remember is, all of us boys were liars and we were all universally "6 inches" long lol.

I obviously knew I wasn't that long, I'm not sure when I first measured, but I definitely knew I wasn't 6 inches long. I wasn't embarrassed or anything at the time, because I was still growing and just assumed I'd grow up into an adult with a huge penis!

I didn't start having reservations about my size until closer to the end of high school. I didn't want to be seen flaccid, definitely not completely flaccid, because I didn't want anyone to think I was small. And I still lied about penis size, because by then I knew average and that I was smaller than it. Yet, I didn't feel like I was lying, because I hadn't accepted that I was already as big as I would get. It was also easy to fool myself, because my sexual experience was limited until I was much older, so there weren't any women to confirm one way or another.

However, in the year after I had finished high school, I started checking out statistics online and comparing. I had a couple experiences where I was partially exposed or nearly exposed, that got me thinking about my size more critically. I realized I was done growing and started to measure without cheating or rounding up. I was a little disappointed at first, but that lasted a short amount of time. It didn't take long before I was getting turned on by it. I satisfied it by comparing myself to the statistics and the like. It took me a long time before I found SPH. I had been into humiliation with my fantasies ever since I had started masturbating. So it's no surprise I found my way to SPH.

So for me, I guess it was weird. Until I accepted I was small, I would have probably been embarrassed to have had my size exposed. When I finally KNEW I was small, then the SPH kicked in! At that point, I was embarrassed about my SPH kink, but not ashamed my penis was small.

What was your experience? Were you ashamed about being small at first and it evolved into a kink? Was it always a turn on? Are you regular size or big, but it became an extension of your existing humiliation kinks?

a girlfriend laughed at my question as to whether it was big. that was the start of my fetish. she said oh my god you are getting hard from me laughing. i’ll give you that you get hard fast but it’s small.