green tea

[CandiCame]

I think perhaps the main problem here is that you have dedicated so much of your life to brutally murdering your taste buds with a constant barrage of artificial flavours, flavour enhancers, liberal spadefulls of salt and sugar, etc. The only thing you are now capable of tasting are the bitter tannins of an stewed and spoiled mug.

The delicate floral tones of the bergamot in a finely blended earl grey are not for the likes of you. You will never appreciate the smokey aftertaste of a good lapsang souchong. You're better off with mountain dew.

I agree with literally all of this, seeing as I am an uncultured cretin and to argue otherwise would be disingenuous, but I fucking hate Mountain Dew.

...

This is a true fact and I'm not proud of it, but when I reach for a pop it's usually a diet redneck soda, like grape or big red or basically any of your carbonated kool-aids.

I really, really, really don't want to say Faygo but... faygo.

I KNOW.

https://media.makeameme.org/created/shit-i-cletus-vqs5bb.jpg

Edit: This is the same reason I can't drink wine. All wine tastes like spoiled grapes to me.

 

[dolf]

I have no idea what faygo is, but I have a feeling that the ingredients list would give me nightmares.

 

[Sean]

Real question- why the hell would you take the bag out? It's already weak as dishwater; that's why I don't like it.

That's because American teabags are shit.

A good mug of tea, you should be able to tar roads with.

 

[CandiCame]

I have no idea what faygo is, but I have a feeling that the ingredients list would give me nightmares.

Faygo is like if you let Willy Wonka wander through a trailer park and just distill the essence then bottle it.

It's like if Jones had a cousin who stole Jones' money to buy meth.

 

[CandiCame]

That's because American teabags are shit.

A good mug of tea, you should be able to tar roads with.

One of you not-American motherfuckers needs to put a kettle on or whatever yhall do and let me taste that 'cuppa'. You're like the third person to say this and now I'm curious.

 

[dolf]

One of you not-American motherfuckers needs to put a kettle on or whatever yhall do and let me taste that 'cuppa'. You're like the third person to say this and now I'm curious.

Sean is northern. He drinks only builders' tea and whippets.

 

[CandiCame]

Sean is northern. He drinks only builders' tea and whippets.

Whippets cannot be the same thing on that island that they are here. They're not drinkable here. It's huffing paint or whipped cream or other huffacle substance.

 

[dolf]

Whippets cannot be the same thing on that island that they are here. They're not drinkable here. It's huffing paint or whipped cream or other huffacle substance.

Whippets are a slim, medium sized sight hound favoured by northerners.

 

[dolf]

Along with flat caps, pigeons and black pudding.

 

[Sean]

Sean is northern. He drinks only builders' tea and whippets.

It's called builder's tea cos you can use it to creosote a fence.

 

[CandiCame]

Whippets are a slim, medium sized sight hound favoured by northerners.

That just raises further questions

 

[dolf]

It's called builder's tea cos you can use it to creosote a fence.

Which is the only use to which a civilised man would put it.

 

[Kirkrapine]

I've never drank tea that wasn't gross. There are so many better way to get caffeine.

Intravenously, for instance.

 

[Kirkrapine]

It's really not. Half of them leave the bag in ffs!

Good tea is an art form. I don't make it because I don't make it well. Better no tea than bad tea.

"A Nice Cup of Tea," by George Orwell. The most important thing is that the water should be boiling when it hits the tea.

 

[Kirkrapine]

Real question- why the hell would you take the bag out? It's already weak as dishwater; that's why I don't like it.

If it's weak, that's because the water wasn't boiling when it hit the tea.

 

[dolf]

"A Nice Cup of Tea," by George Orwell. The most important thing is that the water should be boiling when it hits the tea.

But who says Orwell made good tea? Perhaps he is describing the perfect room 101 torture for an English audience.

 

[Kirkrapine]

Tea and Tea Culture.

 

[dolf]

If it's weak, that's because the water wasn't boiling when it hit the tea.

You, sir, are a barbarian!

 

[neci]

i had to look up faygo. my stomach hurts just looking at it.

i'm going for a cup of chai now. cold weather means hot teas.

 

[Liar]

i had to look up faygo. my stomach hurts just looking at it.

I refuse to acknowledge it's a thing. It exist in my mind in the same space as Brawndo and Nuka Cola.

 

[neci]

I refuse to acknowledge it's a thing. It exist in my mind in the same space as Brawndo and Nuka Cola.

i don't know either of those. i figure it's like rite-aid soda. not-quite-sunkist. i remember the glass bottles of jarritos as a kid. i am not a soda person. i drink coffee and tea. unsweet iced tea. that's my go to. lots of iced coffee. though it's cold, and it feels like hot tea.

tequila beats tea any day.

 

[IG_88]

Faygo isn't even good as a cheap soda. It's just not good. But it IS cheap so it's popular.

 

[Oblimo]

We got blue folks in my neck of the woods.

There's this rare genetic disease called Methemoglobinemia, because everything in Appalachia has to have the word "meth" in it somewhere. If you have that and then you take in a lot of iron, like say there's coal slurry in your water or whatever, you'll turn straight up blue like a fucking smurf. It's rare but there are folks just walking around blue and shit.

The thing is, the toxins have to build up, so you start out as just a normal white person and you slowly turn blue over time.

https://cdn.onlyinyourstate.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/However-no-one-really-knew..jpg

https://i0.wp.com/www.freaklore.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/Paul-Karason-the-blue-man.jpg

So like... just a friendly reminder that the world might be a little more fucked up than you thought.

Also, friendly reminder that if folks didn't fuck their cousins, we wouldn't have people with extremely rare recessive medical conditions that make them open to the environmental factor that TURNS YOU INTO A GODDAMN SMURF.

So like... don't fuck your cousins or you'll have smurf kids- looking at you, shockingly popular incest section of literotica.

I was pretty sure Karason and his friends turned blue from ingesting silver and applying it to his skin for medicinal purposes.

He died of a stroke a few years ago I believe.

 

[CandiCame]

Faygo isn't even good as a cheap soda. It's just not good. But it IS cheap so it's popular.

Taste is subjective. It's so good... you drink it knowing full well that you're outing yourself as trailer trash and proclaiming that you have no taste, but like...

Vehemently disagree about the pure taste factor.

It's so cheap that the cans aren't even like... the metal is so thin. The cans are worse quality than like a Pepsi so you know the actual pop has never been in contact with any kind of actual fruit or even food in general.

 

[CandiCame]

I was pretty sure Karason and his friends turned blue from ingesting silver and applying it to his skin for medicinal purposes.

He died of a stroke a few years ago I believe.

You're right about Papa Smurf. I've never heard of that and assumed he had the recessive disease. But that disease is also a real thing.

So I guess there are numerous ways to turn yourself blue, all by poisoning. You just don't have to fuck your cousins if you go the silver route so that's probably the way to go.

The silver poisoning is called Argyria, and apparently you still have to drink it, and it is still associated with coal slurry getting into the water.

However, now knowing this I imagine you could just eat silver and get the same effect, but you'd have to COMMIT because it works the same way, that is you have to do it for decades. This used to be more common because people would straight up drink silver thinking it was an antibiotic?? What the fuck, wikipedia? That's a thing humans did?

God I'd love to be an old timey doctor. "Idk man, you have an ear infection, you should drink silver about it."