Great Story

[sweetnpetite]

I just want to tell everyone about an excellent story that I read here on literotica. Its called A Woman Scorned by Sexy Chele. I don't know how long its been out, but it is currently ranked 199 on the Anal Board. Yes it is an anal story, not the first categorie I would go to, but this is a great story. Its pretty long, but worth every page (around 13 printed pages) The writing is excellent, the sex is hot, the plotting and everything is in line. The story is very proffesional. I was very impressed. I think anybody with any interest in anal should read this story and give it a score of 5. Like I said, technicly and eroticly this story is perfect. I look forward to reading her other work is it is all as good as this. This story really deserves a high ranking, and for that matter a cash prize. (Im not sure yet how that works) Thanks for letting me share.

 

[sweetnpetite]

link

oh yeah, here's the link:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=79051&page=1

 

[SexyChele]

Dang, you actually got me to blush! Sweetnpetite, I truly appreciate that you liked the story, and starting a thread for it, the first time that's ever happened for one of my stories, was very sweet of you!

 

[Guest]

I read your story and liked it. Few writers can capture realistic dialogue, especially those writers who work within this genre. All too often, good writing is ruined by stilted and wooden interactions between the characters.

In giving constructive feedback, I liked the dialogue best. It didn't descend into melodramatic porno-drivel, but neither was it boring.

Bravo.

 

[hiddenself]

Excellent!

Great story, very well written.

This is one of the few stories where the dirty talking is realistic and not gratuitous at all. The story conveys the impression of a pretty common everyday interaction between John and Allison, which spikes (physically, verbally, emotionally) during sex. I think that pretty much captures the full reality in situations like this.

My only quibble is the ending. If Allison were planning on revenge, would she want to get pregnant by him? I doubt it. And if revenge she were after, wouldn't that come more naturally before all the sex in the weeks leading up to the wedding? A little too dramatic and not entirely believable. I don't really understand the psychology. But then, I'm a man.

hs

 

[SexyChele]

Wow, I truly have to say I am amazed! I hadn't posted this story here because I wrote this story rather hastily and did not feel it was my best work.

I thank both WyldKarde and hddenself for their comments on dialogue. It's something that I understand the importance of, but always came across as somewhat flat. I really concentrated on that aspect in this story, and to have both of you say it went well makes me feel much more confident about it.

Hiddenself, as far as the ending goes, Allison's intent was to break up the wedding. Did she suceed? Is she really really pregnant? Well, I've been asked by several readers to write a continuation to this story, so maybe some truths might be revealed then. But I would agree with you - the ending, even in my opinion, could be stronger. Well, we all know what they say about haste and all that, right?

Again, thank you both - I do appreciate you taking the time to read the story and let me know what you think.

 

[kiwiwolf]

Okay Chele... that story rocks. I know it's not a very literary way to pass on appreciation of a story but hey... I tell it like it is.

11 out of 10.

 

[~Elizabeth~]

Great story, loved it!

 

[sweetnpetite]

I hope that all of you who liked the story voted. This story deserves to be at the top.

Chele,

I really think your story stands up in all areas. Thats a great idea about maybe she isn' t really pregnant. I hadn't thought of that. I didn' t feel that it was overly contrived (maybe I watch to many soaps) I liked it because I had a feeling that she was going to stop the wedding, but I wasn' t expecting that extra twist. The anticipation was deliscious.

"was very sweet of you!"
guess I'm just living up to my name! lol

 

[SexyChele]

Thank you, kiwi - you handsome wolf you! And P3, I haven't met you before, but it is a pleasure to do so. And thank you!

Sweetnpetite - acutally, the ending of this story was based on true fact. I do know of a wedding where, when the minister asked if anyone had just cause to stop it, the bride stepped up and made the announcement that the groom and her maid of honor had slept together the night before. That did end the wedding, but I thought it was such a killer way to end a wedding, I couldn't resist here. (And that happened way back in the early 80s, so you know how long it's been playing on my mind!)

 

[hiddenself]

That's some ending! Why didn't you use it like that in your story? It would have made it much more shocking! Although, with the character develpment that you have for his fiancee, I don't know if that sort of thing would fit her personality. But you could write a Ch2 with her perspective of things, her POV of the weeks leading up to the wedding, explaining her decision to embarass him publicly at the wedding. Don't mind me. Just dreaming out in public.

hs

 

[sweetnpetite]

shameless plug

shameless plug:

My first story finally got approved!!!! Here's the link if anyone is intested. Chele, let me know what you think.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=184168

 

[sweetnpetite]

yay! I've got an avatar! (that's not me, btw)

 

[Just_John1]

Nice job!

I finlly got the chance to read your story and liked it alot. I thought it was technically very well written, and yes, I agree that the dialog was smooth and natural. That's really hard to do. I found the story a little frightening and a reminder why I keep my PIP (pecker in pants...) LOL. Anyway, loved the story Chele, I'll go and read more of your work. Thanks

JJ1

 

[MagicFingers]

Sexy

Dang, you actually got me to blush! Sweetnpetite, I truly appreciate that you liked the story, and starting a thread for it, the first time that's ever happened for one of my stories, was very sweet of you!

I'm not surprised, but pleased to see both Sexy Chele and SweetNPetite in the same forum.
Sexy is intelligent and writes good stories, and has a sexy voice too. Check it out. Love your stories and forum input. Thanks.

Sweet, you can remove those "ascii" characters. They're part of the title. Glad you/we got it working! Thanks for doing this for Sexy.
MagicFingers