Gorgeous Aussie Girl Dumped!

[SwellBabyGirl]

Sob- hi everyone this is my first time here so if I am posting in the wrong place just let me know. My boyfriend who i love dearly recently broke up with me- darn it! He is a beautiful man, great father & very hot body. We had the BEST sex EVER. But he's saying "we can still be friends". Ah, yes, well. Now I am hi & dry. Incredibly horny plus I miss him so much. Don't know if its wrong of me to want this, but I feel like I really really need a man's sympathy & affection right now. Anyone out there feel like giving me some?

 

[midwestyankee]

SBG, I'm sorry to hear of your breakup. It's never easy to go through that. If you're simply looking for companionship - virtual or otherwise - here at Lit you'll be much more likely to draw a response in the Personals forum.

On the other hand, if you're looking for thoughts, most of which will be sympathetic, this forum is as good a place as any to vent your frustrations and hear how others have managed to survive such trials and eventually thrive.

 

[SwellBabyGirl]

Oh, thank you Yankee Man for your sympathy (hugs to ya ). I didnt mean any particular man. Just sympathy in general would be good. Also Advice. I am tempted to rush into the arms of someone from the past who is married but who would be there with bells on if I called him. But I know it would be stupid & its against my principles to do that kind of thing any more. Its always a bad idea to fling yourself at anyone when ur dumped, isnt it?

 

[Labattz21]

Guess it just depends on what you're looking for..After being with someone for a long time, and I know what you mean about losing amazing sex..it's almost like you crave it..

 

[M's girl]

..... He is a beautiful man, great father ......

Is he the father of your child(ren)?

 

[SwellBabyGirl]

Hi, M's Girl, No he isn't. He is a great father to his own children. I admire his parenting so much. They lost their mother in an accident & he raised them alone the last 10 years.

 

[M's girl]

So you obviously admire him for several reasons. Sounds like on the one hand you still love him. So what is this thinking about wanting to be with other men so soon? What reason did he give you for wanting to call it quits? Any chance (on his part) you two might get back together some day?

I understand you hurt, but running into another man's arms is not the way to deal with that kind of grief. Also, I would want to be absolutely sure there was no chance at all of him and me getting back together. Because a fling like that could spoil that chance big time, even though you are separated at this moment.

 

[SwellBabyGirl]

His reason was being uncomfortable with emotional intimacy. Looking back over his history of brief girlfriends only and long periods of being alone (since his wife died) I'd say it's a pattern that is permanent. AT first he felt wonderful with me but then became more & more uncomfortable until after 6 months we split. I doubt that we'll get back together. Hey, I said I did NOT want to go with another man right now. Thoughts came into my head about it, but it would be all wrong, I know it.

 

[tanyachrs]

Losing someone you love is always sad no matter how it happens, but I think there's a special kind of pain when there's a possibility that the someone will return. It's hard not to imagine scenarios where that might happen, which only prolongs the torture because it's not under your control.

Don't try to be friends now. If he calls or emails, tell him you can't interact with him now but will try in a few months when you're feeling more steady. I'm good friends with many of my ex's but, believe me, that didn't start on day one. It started with the mutual respect of giving each other time to heal and to come back together as friends when we'd buried the past relationship and were ready to start a new one.

I find the best way to deal with sorrow is to accept that it's here now and understand that it will end eventually. Find comfort where you can amongst the people who love you and the things you enjoy. Get some sunshine and exercise and try to eat well in between mandatory binges. If you're having trouble sleeping, try something mild like Nyquil or a decongestant for a few days but not for longer than a week without talking to a doctor. Don't rush into anything new but be around people when you can.

Feel free to email or IM me. I had the misfortune of going through two of the most horrible breakups of my life in the last few years, so I feel your pain. It gets better. Hang in there.

 

[skygazer]

I Agree

Hey Swellbabygirl.... I also feel your pain. Follow tanyachrs's advice, because it's very sound advice. Don't jump back into another relationship to quickly, especially not with a married man. What you need to do is lay low for awhile and lick your wounds. When you're ready to come back out into the world, hold your head up and remember that living well is the best revenge. You will come through this and eventually the pain will disappear. Take it easy and let us all hear how you are doing from time to time

 

[SwellBabyGirl]

Hugs to ya

Hey guys, thanx for your kind & warm words
The urge to leap in the direction of another man, any man - it has passed, thank God. The pain has definitely set in. There's no two ways about it, it hurts! That is good advice to just lay low and tend to my wounds. The loss of this man also means other lost dreams for me too, as my kids & I had been planning to move out the country where he lives, and we'd even gone so far as looking into schools, etc.

Stubborn and strong as I am, I thought hard about moving to the country anyhow, which would need to happen quite soon, in January, that being our major summer vacation (the school year begins 1st Feb).

Not to chase him, of course! Its cheaper out there and there would be work for me. But now I'm feeling so bad that I know it's wiser to stay put and not make any major changes.

It made me feel better yesterday when I bumped into a horse that's up for sale who I used to learn to ride on. He's a brumby, an original wild Australian horse, and very clever. The bugger bucked me off something awful, but I can't help but love him. So tempted to buy him. I probably wont, but somehow just the idea of it made my day one bit less unhappy.

to yas!

 

[Retrieval]

"Gorgeous Aussie Girl Dumped!"

Maybe he dumped you because your head is so big.

 

[SwellBabyGirl]

Ha ha