Beebeeblue
Wise Woman
- Joined
- Oct 4, 1999
- Posts
- 3,281
The Green Berets, the Army and the Los Angeles Police Department go on a survival weekend together to see who comes out top. After some basic exercises, the trainer tells them their next objective is to go down into the woods and come back with a rabbit for lunch.
First up are the Green Berets. They don their infra-red goggles, drop to the ground and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for 5 minutes, followed by a single muffled shot. They emerge with a rabbit, shot cleanly through the forehead.
"Excellent," says the trainer.
Next up is the Army. They finish their cans of beer, cover themselves in camouflage cream, fix their bayonets and charge down into the woods, screaming at the tops of their lungs. For the next hour, the woods ring with the sound of machine gun fire, mortar bombs, hand grenades and blood-curdling war cries.
Eventually, they emerge carrying the charred remains of a rabbit.
"A bit messy, but you got a result. Well done," says the trainer.
Lastly, in go the LAPD, walking slowly, hands behind backs, whistling. For the next few hours, the silence is only broken by the occasional crackle of a walkie talkie: "Sierra oscar, lima one, suspect headed straight for you," etc.
After what seems an eternity, they emerge, escorting a squirrel in handcuffs.
"What the heck do you think you're doing?" asks the incredulous trainer. "Take this squirrel back and get me a rabbit, as I asked you to 5 hours ago!"
So back they go. Minutes pass. Minutes turn to hours, day turns to night.
The next morning, the trainer and the rest of the crew are awakened by the LAPD, holding the squirrel, which is now covered in bruises.
"Well?" asks the seriously irate trainer.
The LAPD team leader shoots a glance at the squirrel, who squeaks, "All right, all right! I'm a rabbit!"
First up are the Green Berets. They don their infra-red goggles, drop to the ground and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for 5 minutes, followed by a single muffled shot. They emerge with a rabbit, shot cleanly through the forehead.
"Excellent," says the trainer.
Next up is the Army. They finish their cans of beer, cover themselves in camouflage cream, fix their bayonets and charge down into the woods, screaming at the tops of their lungs. For the next hour, the woods ring with the sound of machine gun fire, mortar bombs, hand grenades and blood-curdling war cries.
Eventually, they emerge carrying the charred remains of a rabbit.
"A bit messy, but you got a result. Well done," says the trainer.
Lastly, in go the LAPD, walking slowly, hands behind backs, whistling. For the next few hours, the silence is only broken by the occasional crackle of a walkie talkie: "Sierra oscar, lima one, suspect headed straight for you," etc.
After what seems an eternity, they emerge, escorting a squirrel in handcuffs.
"What the heck do you think you're doing?" asks the incredulous trainer. "Take this squirrel back and get me a rabbit, as I asked you to 5 hours ago!"
So back they go. Minutes pass. Minutes turn to hours, day turns to night.
The next morning, the trainer and the rest of the crew are awakened by the LAPD, holding the squirrel, which is now covered in bruises.
"Well?" asks the seriously irate trainer.
The LAPD team leader shoots a glance at the squirrel, who squeaks, "All right, all right! I'm a rabbit!"
