Going down

[dr_mabeuse]

To me, it's cheating when I feel guilty about it. This can range from a hug or kiss to full out sex.

That's swell, but what if your partner doesn't see it that way?

Or what if your partner does see it that way, and so thinks it's okay to screw a bunch of people out on a mattress under the El tracks on a Friday night because they don't feel guilty about it? By your definition, that would be okay, and so a person with no conscience would be the most moral being in the world, because they wouldn't feel guilty about anything.

---dr.M.

 

[Lisa Denton]

That's swell, but what if your partner doesn't see it that way?

Or what if your partner does see it that way, and so thinks it's okay to screw a bunch of people out on a mattress under the El tracks on a Friday night because they don't feel guilty about it? By your definition, that would be okay, and so a person with no conscience would be the most moral being in the world, because they wouldn't feel guilty about anything.

---dr.M.

You o.k. dr.M?

I think you are prolly right though, if you meet your S/O while dumpster-diving, and are drawn to them not only out of love but also the cheap wine and drug induced haze where you think their lack of a conscience is cute, then things might take on a meaning none of us have thought of yet.

All this could lead to some jealous and lonely nights in the cardboard box house of your dreams as you wonder where your S/O is.

I never even thought to look at it from that POV, thanks.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Very sensible and well written response.
The 'empty marriage' part, particularly resonated with me, and you're right. It was over, no guilt was felt.

But if the parties are in a committed relationship.....whole different ball game.

It has to be over for both parties though. In which case, why bother even sticking around? If it's for money that's one thing, I completely understand that being challenged in that area myself. As long as the expectations are laid out, then it isn't cheating.

That's swell, but what if your partner doesn't see it that way?Or what if your partner does see it that way, and so thinks it's okay to screw a bunch of people out on a mattress under the El tracks on a Friday night because they don't feel guilty about it? By your definition, that would be okay, and so a person with no conscience would be the most moral being in the world, because they wouldn't feel guilty about anything.

People with no conscience are so lucky... sigh...

 

[Honey123]

Huh? WTF are you talking about? Everybody was talkin about goin down and stuff. To me, licking honey is how I like to exercise my tongue ............................................. for hours and hours.





http://www.mytempdir.com/07012005/14445.jpg

Whew!! I knew being a honey had its advantages...

 

[Lisa Denton]

My own view from admittedly very little experiance in serious relationships and a hell of a guilty conscience from earlier in my life....

To me, it's cheating when I feel guilty about it. This can range from a hug or kiss to full out sex. If the relationship is real and heartfelt I would feel guilty with even a kiss if it felt sexual or I wanted it to be. To me it matters more how much both people are putting into and expecting out of the original relationship. In an open relationship, neither expects the other's fedelity therefore it isn't truly cheating because you aren't 'breaking' any rules.

(this is where I expect the rotten eggs and hard objects to fly in my direction) This also holds true for any relationship with no love, such as empty marriages. If there is no love, there is no reason to be in the relationship, there is nothing to hold it together or you to it, and don't you dare say the kids.

It all comes down to what the relationship is and how much is in it.


*ducking and running as fast as I possibly can*

You better run or we will all catch you and tickle you silly.

Maybe I am like you and don't have much experience with "serious" relationships but I agree that if two people stayed together after love was gone they would be cheating on each other and themselves just by staying together.

Also yes, feelin kinda guilty with a wicked grin while you remember the naughty things you did is good.

While feelin guilty because you trashed your love for your S/O as you cheated, by your own interpretation, is something I don't want to feel.

Peoples have been taking what I said and keeping what I meant intact, and saying it better than I did. Thanks all.

I'll try one more time, oral sex is good clean fun, while cheating is sick and disgusting and you should go brush your teeth and use lots of Listerine mouthwash.

 

[Lisa Denton]

Whew!! I knew being a honey had its advantages...

Don't tell nobody (its a secret) but I just licked your AV.

 

[Evil Alpaca]

Don't tell nobody (its a secret) but I just licked your AV.

Still a little unclear as to the whole "secret" concept, aren't you?

 

[mtnman2003]

Conscience.....

Dr. M brings a good question to mind.

Prior to my SO, I played the field hard! By standards, I was able to "date/bed" many ladies. Star quarterback, high school, college, great parties, etc.

My SO knows my flirtation vent. She does not know about "trists" that have occured during the past 31-yrs of marriage. She does not know of my interest in being an author here at lit. Or my focus of my stories, etc.

Now, I do not feel guilty about my other ladies. It has not, and does not hurt our relationship "from my perspective". Was going down, intercourse, dinners, movies, trips, etc. sex? Absolutely!

But to thrust "society rules - monogamy" on how I live my life does not cause guilt pangs.

So I walk with a good conscience. Were she to do it? Be good for her!

Mtn

 

[Lisa Denton]

Still a little unclear as to the whole "secret" concept, aren't you?

If I had said TOP SECRET your computer screen would've bursted into flames and self-destructed after you read it, he, he.

I just thought of somethin, we have not discussed whether going down on a alpaca is o.k.

I mean, if "eatin ain't cheatin" then is eatin a alpaca not beastiality? Does it make a difference if you live in the back-hills of Kentucky where moonshine and cute lil alpaca's run wild and free?


EDITED: Ooooops. That wasn't directed at you mountainman.

 

[Somme]

Did M. Levinsky inhale?
Just wondering.....................

 

[LadyJeanne]

Did M. Levinsky inhale?
Just wondering.....................

As much and as often as she could.

 

[minsue]

When did we wander so far afield?


The scene originally referred to, one of my favorites in any movie BTW , wasn't about cheating. It was about the fact that she told him she had sex with a much lower number of partners than he had, but she wasn't including those she went down on, something that astounded and shocked him. In the conversations I've had with people while watching that movie, it seems to be quite common. Every man I've watched it with took his side and every woman took hers.

Personally, I must admit to seeing a bit of myself there. Yes, as she did, I have given a guy a blow job because I wasn't going to fuck him and it was just easier to give him head than deal with him pouting about it. (now humming TMBG - *I was young and stupid then, I feel old and stupid now*) It also doesn't even cross my mind to count them when I tell someone how many people I've slept with, mainly because it didn't mean a damn thing. Hell, I don't even count them as one night stands. They were just dicks I sucked. I ain't proud of it, but I also don't put them anywhere near on par with sex.

Now, to get back to where this thread has wandered....

If I had been in a relationship at the time of any of those encounters, yes, OF COURSE, that would have been cheating.

 

[carsonshepherd]

(now humming TMBG - *I was young and stupid then, I feel old and stupid now*) [/B]

I love you, mindysue.

 

[minsue]

I love you, mindysue.

 

[BlackShanglan]

I mean, if "eatin ain't cheatin" then is eatin a alpaca not beastiality? Does it make a difference if you live in the back-hills of Kentucky where moonshine and cute lil alpaca's run wild and free?

I don't know, but I do know where I'm booking my next vacation.

Shanglan

 

[humphrey]

im curious what you lot think.....what if im staying at a friends house..he has a gf..and whilst im in the kitchen doin the dishes..she comes in and grabs my right ass cheek and squeezes it slowly..is that crossing the line?

 

[THROBBS]

im curious what you lot think.....what if im staying at a friends house..he has a gf..and whilst im in the kitchen doin the dishes..she comes in and grabs my right ass cheek and squeezes it slowly..is that crossing the line?

if she is on your left, yes, she crossed the "line". If on your right, no.

 

[bvoltaire]

I watched a movie last night called "Clerks". The male and female main characters were having a discussion.

The female got upset when her boyfriend told her that he had sex with 12 women. She only had 3 lovers, one of which included her boyfriend.

After some discussion, a guy came into the store that the boyfriend worked in. The girlfriend also knew him but referred to him by the nickname Snowball.

*** side bar --- snowball is a sexual term for spitting cum back into the guys mouth that you just blew off...this I did not know until this movie --

Anyway, the b/f asked how she knew this and she admitted that she had gown down on "Snowball". The b/f stated that she had said she only had 3 lovers and "Snowball" not one of them - to which she admitted to going down on 37 guys. Her b/f flipped out..

So my question is this:

Is going down on a guy sex? Or is intercourse considered having sex?

If a woman gives head to so many guys, would she be considered a slut as some would think she was if she had sex with that many guys??

And where does that put jerking off a guy?

Just curious....

i don't have a comment on the subject

just want to say that I love being snowballed........

ok i guess i do have an opinion....if your spouse would divorce you for doing it...it counts....and btw....hope she doesn't find out LOL