Going down

Lisa Denton said:
I totally believe its different with f/f, I knew f/f but a week or so ago peoples was all Laffin at me cause Yui mentioned m/m sex and I thought she was talkin about m&m's or some kinda kinky candy sex. I didn't like that snowballin stuff earlier in the thread and had never heard of it and hope I never do again. Uh, no offense meant to the snowballers out there.

Anywho, where was I? Oh, yea.

I once had a female kiss me and I would definately classify it as oral sex, I almost had an orgasm and prolly would have if she had kept on kissin me awhile. It was erotic as hell and she was feeling exactly like I was. I really don't thiink a man could even understand what I mean by that. It was a stolen moment and I never saw her again but will never forget that.

Thats why I agree with what Cloudy said even though I joked, that sex is mostly in the mind.

Also what people was talking about cheating and stuff, I hope I would never do that, and never have, and never was with someone who was cheating that I know of. That would make it bad, not naughty, but bad.

Going down or going all over the place, when your not cheating its prolly "really sex" and doesn't really need classification without the cheating.

So I guess having oral sex withme is out? :devil:
 
Lisa Denton said:
I would love to blow your mind sometime.

I miss all the good offers...

Though it isn't my mind (I just think with it)... ;)

And sweetnpetite, nice Lewis Black quote...

"If it wasn't for that horse, I would never have gone to college..."

Q_C

p.s. Oh, and oral is cheating, as is masterbating another, or even pursuing and being shot-down (which is sad because being ugly might have kept me out of trouble in the face of that last one).
 
Manipulation or contact with another person's sexual organs with the intent to give or receive pleasure constitutes a sexual act.

"Having sex" is often a euphemisim for coitus, but to insist that oral sex isn't "having sex" is sophistry.

---dr.M.
 
LadyJeanne said:
Well, I have read some of your stories (and voted) :D

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

What makes you think he's the guy in them???

Bahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

:p ;) :eek:
 
Lisa Denton said:



Going down or going all over the place, when your not cheating its prolly "really sex" and doesn't really need classification without the cheating.

Excellent point. When one has no ethical qualms about what one is doing, one tends not to worry about fine points of definition. Perhaps we can add to Carson's definition - "when you can't tell the SO" - this from paraphrased from Lisa - "when you start playing semantics with what you're doing."

Shanglan
 
dr_mabeuse said:
Manipulation or contact with another person's sexual organs with the intent to give or receive pleasure constitutes a sexual act.

"Having sex" is often a euphemisim for coitus, but to insist that oral sex isn't "having sex" is sophistry.

---dr.M.

I second the vote and the term. If there's anything I hate more than a determined sophist, I don't know what it is. :mad: They take all the meaning out of interaction and all of the joy out of life.

Shanglan
 
BlackShanglan said:
Excellent point. When one has no ethical qualms about what one is doing, one tends not to worry about fine points of definition. Perhaps we can add to Carson's definition - "when you can't tell the SO" - this from paraphrased from Lisa - "when you start playing semantics with what you're doing."

Shanglan

Oh, and saying, "If I was getting it at home, I wouldn't have to do this." Justification, anyone?
 
carsonshepherd said:
Oh, and saying, "If I was getting it at home, I wouldn't have to do this." Justification, anyone?

Craven whinging. If you don't like what's at home, deal with home or leave it. Getting it elsewhere is an excuse not to solve home problems or to screw home partner for his/her other contributions while playing away.

Shanglan
 
carsonshepherd said:
Oh, and saying, "If I was getting it at home, I wouldn't have to do this." Justification, anyone?


BlackShanglan said:
Craven whinging. If you don't like what's at home, deal with home or leave it. Getting it elsewhere is an excuse not to solve home problems or to screw home partner for his/her other contributions while playing away.

Shanglan


I know!

It's all just a load of excuses, from some sad pathetic losers, who can't deal with the real issues in their lives, eh????
 
carsonshepherd said:
Oh, and saying, "If I was getting it at home, I wouldn't have to do this." Justification, anyone?

Just from my own POV. The issue of desire for someone has almost nothing to do with how much I am getting at home.


When I was dating multiple partners before getting married, having been with one on Tuesday did not prevent me from wanting the other on Wednesday.
 
BlackShanglan said:
Craven whinging. If you don't like what's at home, deal with home or leave it. Getting it elsewhere is an excuse not to solve home problems or to screw home partner for his/her other contributions while playing away.

Shanglan

I left. :)

It's all just a load of excuses, from some sad pathetic losers, who can't deal with the real issues in their lives, eh????

Er... yes.
 
Belegon said:
Just from my own POV.............. having been with one on Tuesday did not prevent me from wanting the other on Wednesday.


I know exactly what you mean .................................. when I look in my toy box. It is a loooooog time between Tuesday and Wednesday though, ain't it?
 
BlackShanglan said:
Excellent point. When one has no ethical qualms about what one is doing, one tends not to worry about fine points of definition. Perhaps we can add to Carson's definition - "when you can't tell the SO" - this from paraphrased from Lisa - "when you start playing semantics with what you're doing."

Shanglan

Am I right to read Lisa's point as saying that, when we're not "involved", going down or all over the place is probably sex, but the definition doesn't really matter since its interpretation is confined to our own sensibility? That's actually a good and relevant insight to the original question of the thread.

I mean, if oral, anal, mutual masturbation, and so forth have a different meaning in the non-partnered context since they can't lead to the dreaded "should we or not" question that can result from intercourse, then how are they different from masturbation? They are, in effect, pleasureable sexual experiences that won't result in decisions that affect (or effect) a third party, born or unborn.

So, I can see where a person would make a clear moral distinction between those behaviors and procreative acts.

I'm not sure how I feel about this, but it seems to be a legitimate argument.
 
My own view from admittedly very little experiance in serious relationships and a hell of a guilty conscience from earlier in my life....

To me, it's cheating when I feel guilty about it. This can range from a hug or kiss to full out sex. If the relationship is real and heartfelt I would feel guilty with even a kiss if it felt sexual or I wanted it to be. To me it matters more how much both people are putting into and expecting out of the original relationship. In an open relationship, neither expects the other's fedelity therefore it isn't truly cheating because you aren't 'breaking' any rules.

(this is where I expect the rotten eggs and hard objects to fly in my direction) This also holds true for any relationship with no love, such as empty marriages. If there is no love, there is no reason to be in the relationship, there is nothing to hold it together or you to it, and don't you dare say the kids.

It all comes down to what the relationship is and how much is in it.

:rose:
*ducking and running as fast as I possibly can*
 
RebeccaLeah said:
My own view from admittedly very little experiance in serious relationships and a hell of a guilty conscience from earlier in my life....

To me, it's cheating when I feel guilty about it. This can range from a hug or kiss to full out sex. If the relationship is real and heartfelt I would feel guilty with even a kiss if it felt sexual or I wanted it to be. To me it matters more how much both people are putting into and expecting out of the original relationship. In an open relationship, neither expects the other's fedelity therefore it isn't truly cheating because you aren't 'breaking' any rules.

(this is where I expect the rotten eggs and hard objects to fly in my direction) This also holds true for any relationship with no love, such as empty marriages. If there is no love, there is no reason to be in the relationship, there is nothing to hold it together or you to it, and don't you dare say the kids.

It all comes down to what the relationship is and how much is in it.

:rose:
*ducking and running as fast as I possibly can*


Very sensible and well written response.
The 'empty marriage' part, particularly resonated with me, and you're right. It was over, no guilt was felt.

But if the parties are in a committed relationship.....whole different ball game.
 
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