Giving up, quitting, surrendering, etc.

[BustyTheClown]

Did you ever just give up for a while? It could have been through depression, exhaustion, anger, frustration, sadness, whatever. What have you found that drains you to the point of not being able to complete/finish/continue it, even just for a little while? You don't have to go into details, I'm just curious.

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[Georgia Girl]

Relationships seem to do me in....

I'm one of those people that gives and doesn't know when to stop until I realize that I have given "ME" away. That is an empty feeling that seems bottomless and does make me want to give up and just go hide but I don't, I come back here to where there are kind and loving people and I start over and refill the well within myself of things I have to give.

I'll get it right one day.

Dawn

 

[BustyTheClown]

Re: Relationships seem to do me in....

I'm one of those people that gives and doesn't know when to stop until I realize that I have given "ME" away. That is an empty feeling that seems bottomless and does make me want to give up and just go hide but I don't, I come back here to where there are kind and loving people and I start over and refill the well within myself of things I have to give.

I'll get it right one day.

Dawn

Good luck. I hope you find someone who is just as willing to give as you are. Don't be afraid to take sometimes, too.

 

[seXieleXie]

this is an excerpt from a rambling piece of prose i wrote one night not long ago when i really wanted to give up. it's rough right now, and kinda cliché. it may not ever turn into something much better... but it helped to write it.

----
For a glittering instant you think you could do it, just lay your sorry ass down and let them walk all over you and finish destroying the empty remnants of who you once were, let them turn you into that something they’ve always wanted. You could do it, simply stop caring, stop wanting, stop thinking, stop everything and let them control you and find your happiness in their hollow world that once baffled and disgusted you, just make it your nirvana. Forget individuality, it’s too difficult to sustain anyway, you could go on auto pilot, just follow along and never worry your pretty little head about anything ever again.

But even that isn’t an option. Something inside you slaps you and says get moving, get going, do something, anything, just go. So you start to move but you’re not really sure what you’re doing or where you’re going and you're lost, spinning out of control. But no matter what it takes, no matter how long and how hard you try, no matter how many times you have to gather up the scattered fragments of your soul and glue them back together, no matter how many times your house of cards crashes down around you, nothing nothing is worse than letting them win.
----

the more i read that the less i want to post it, but maybe it will help you to know you're not the only one who feels that way

 

[kotori]

Never let the bastards get you down.

That was my younger bother's motto. I like to think of it when things look tough.

 

[Ezarc]

Yup

I got separated about a year and a half ago. I was to the point where I was just ready to snap for about three straight days. Then I decided it was time for me to stop with the b.s. between my wife and myself and move out. Life took a while but it straightened itself out.

 

[amiss]

Stress does that to me. I love being productive, and being busy, but sometimes it all piles up, and I just "disappear" for a day or two.

 

[Guest]

edited

 

[SXCRgirl]

I have my days where I feel like saying forget it. It's not worth it. But then, after crying and letting everything out, purging myself of negativity and self-doubt, a new day emerges. I am renewed and sexielexie is right. Nothing is worse than letting them win.

I too hope that I find that one person who is willing to love and stick to it as much as I do.

My brother who I love dearly wrote a poem. In it he says... the mountain tops are glorious, but it's in the valleys I grow. I try to think of that when I feel like kicking the shit out of something.

 

[dreamer]

This past year or so I've pretty much shut down. The fact that I was SOO very mentally tough and persistant has made that harder to deal with and accept.

Also there's a piece of that age thing Enchanted speaks of at play as well. I know thirty isn't old but as it approaches I feel the years I was sure I was doing the right thing and didn't pan out were just so very wasted. I guess that realization is what holds me back now. If I was so sure then, how can I possibly figure it out now when everything is so uncertain??

I still have managed to stay true to two things. No matter what I'll never give up on those. Honesty, and Loyalty.

 

[MechaBlade]

school.

 

[WhiteRose]

Did you ever just give up for a while? It could have been through depression, exhaustion, anger, frustration, sadness, whatever. What have you found that drains you to the point of not being able to complete/finish/continue it, even just for a little while? You don't have to go into details, I'm just curious.

Sure. Once was in a job where the management made working there almost unbearable (and even fired two of the best supervisors in our department because they didn't agree with the new higher boss who had never worked in our field...and ONLY for that reason). The day I blacked out at work and found myself across the room ready to take a swing at our team leader...I decided if the job was so stressful that it did that to me, I didn't need that job so badly, and I walked away. The pay was excellent, I'd been working there over 8 years and loved what I did, I just hated the way a couple of our higher ups treated us and failed to support us and even went further and tried to undermine us. I'm not a violent person at all and have NEVER raised my hand to anyone (including a mother who had no such qualms). Other times I've felt like that had more to do with relationships on a personal level.

 

[sabbathstorm]

Work and the looming layoff deadline really put me in shutdown mode a couple of years ago. Now school is pretty much doing the same thing. I have to got to find a job!

 

[SilverVeil]

I have felt like giving up often. And even went so far as to try the final escape once or twice. ( Obviously a bad idea as it did not work ... )

But knowing now, that there is no one who can pick up the load I would lay down, keeps me going. And the fact that there is a wonderful, sweet man who very much desires, and needs me in his life, as much as I need him in mine.

Okay, so I don't have the job I want, in the field I want. But I am making money and paying bills.

I don't live where I used to, but this part of the country is different and beautiful.

I don't have any friends here, but books have ALWAYS been my BEST friends, so I will never be totally alone.

It's not hopeless. Just sometimes overwhelming.

 

[lovetoread]

So many times that I thought that ending my life would be better than living in the dark abyss that was my life.

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Thoughts of "giving up" when things were bad have occurred throughout my life (predominantly in my late teens!).

As I've gotten older though, there is an indescribable positiveness deep inside me. I can't really seem to reach it, but it's still there, and it drives me through each and every day and night.

After almost 30 years working at the same law firm, I am now two years unemployed! This has been the biggest "change of life" for me, and it's still a frustrating effort to keep trying to find a job. However, sometimes the worst of times brings forth "miracles", and I found my biggest blessing about 6 months ago. Things are still very shaky, yet I have a new outlook, and my life is undergoing possibly it's biggest change ever.

I still feel positive, and although I'm broke and floundering, my spirit seems to be getting stronger, as if "it" knows better things are about to happen.

 

[freescorfr]

I've not met any alcoholics who've not been at the point of ending everything and I am no exception. For me the alcohol was a depressive - it destroyed my self-esteem, my confidence, my hope. As soon as I stopped drinking, these all came back.

I don't touch it now, even at the worst of times. I have learned to accept help, to receive the support of others. I look back and know that "I touched the bottom". It's good to think it's all uphill from now on.

 

[Guest]

 

[freescorfr]

Think? Hmmm... I would say, "I KNOW it's all uphill from now on."

We'd better get moving then , Luscious. It'll be a gentle climb, and there are many wondeerful views on the way up, so I am assured.

 

[BustyTheClown]

Thanks for all your beautiful, honest replies. It's good to know you're not alone when you feel precisely that way, and when you just want to crawl into a hole for 20 years and come out later when the sky's cleared up.

lexie, what you posted was awesome -- I'm glad you decided to keep it in your post. Thanks for sharing.

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[Guest]