Girl Think she has a nasty body (help)

[GhostRidah]

My current girlfriend thinks that she has a nasty body, i always tell her how beautiful she is and that she has a beautiful body but she doesnt believe me.

Now the problem is is that it affects our sex life, she doesnt want me to look at her naked, we only do two different positions, and I think she cannot orgasim because of this.

Is there anyway i can help her with this situation?

 

[Lust Engine]

Sometimes all you can do is be supportive. Her body image is an image she's got to overcome. It's gonna take some time for her to feel good about herself. Kudos to you for supporting her, but it might take some time to even with a therapist's help. All you can do right now is be supportive & offer suggestions. It's her journey she's got to walk on. For the long term you've got the choice to walk alongside her or not.

Hang in there.

 

[Hello_Kitten]

Agree with Lust Engine. You're doing about all you can right now, supporting her. In the end though, it's something she's going to have to work out on her own.

 

[SexyChele]

I agree with Lust Engine, as usual! I have to admit that I don't have the greatest thoughts about my own body. Not necessarily really bad, but it could be better, in my mind. I'm always very nervous when I'm with a new lover. Unsure if he will really accept what he sees, if he likes what he sees, if he is turned on. It doesn't matter how many men before have said they liked my body. It's my perception that matters.

But, here's something that might help, and maybe your g/f is the same way. Once I'm with a lover for any length of time, and I feel comfortable with him and trust him, I begin to see my body as he does. I have more confidence about being naked in front of him and just getting into the loving and not feel threatened with what I think he's thinking. I've had men tell me they know exactly when this stage is reached, and they think that I become sexier because of it. I certainly feel that way.

So, it might be that she just needs to become more comfortable with you. As long as she is reassured, that will help. Some women (and men) do need counseling to help overcome body image misperceptions, but typically, with understanding, encouragement, and a little time, people overcome these things on their own.

Good luck!

 

[Lust Engine]

Might as well tell you now, it's not going to be an easy road to go down. She's had years of this bad body image in her head built up. It's not going to be a one-stop shopping kind of fix. You being supportive is just one of the many steps in helping her getting her dignity back.

 

[GhostRidah]

I understand its going to take time but im willing to with it and help her anyway i can.

 

[HoHoBomb]

She's very lucky to have you!

 

[BlondAngel]

I'm glad you have patience. You will need it. Compliment her at every turn...naked and/or clothed. Be affectionate with her and don't always let it lead to sex. If she thinks the compliments and touches are just for sex, it will work against you.

Good luck.

 

[BirdsWife]

I always had what most people would consider a voloptuous hourglass figure, although I was never skinny. No matter what anyone else said, I was never happy with how I looked.

Then after I had my first baby my waist thickened, my breasts sagged, and my hips widened. Suddenly I was no longer what most people would consider attractive, but amazingly enough I was finally comfortable with my body. All I had to do was look at the beautiful baby that had grown inside of me to truly appreciate my new figure. It changed my whole opinion of myself, and the results of that turnaround made my husband a very happy man!

Now, I'm not suggesting that you go and knock your girl up or anything. Just pointing out that self image is just that...it has to do with how you feel about yourself, and about all you can do to help her is be supportive.

Good luck to you.

BirdsWife

 

[Lust Engine]

I always had what most people would consider a voloptuous hourglass figure, although I was never skinny. No matter what anyone else said, I was never happy with how I looked.

Then after I had my first baby my waist thickened, my breasts sagged, and my hips widened. Suddenly I was no longer what most people would consider attractive, but amazingly enough I was finally comfortable with my body. All I had to do was look at the beautiful baby that had grown inside of me to truly appreciate my new figure. It changed my whole opinion of myself, and the results of that turnaround made my husband a very happy man!

Now, I'm not suggesting that you go and knock your girl up or anything. Just pointing out that self image is just that...it has to do with how you feel about yourself, and about all you can do to help her is be supportive.

Good luck to you.

BirdsWife

Each person has to find their own beauty. Be prepared that she might not find her inner beauty as easily & quickly as you'd like. Be patient with her as her body changes over the years too. See how BirdsWife's body changed & how her perception changed. It took until post pregnancy; of ryour girlfriend it might take more.

Hang in there.

 

[Bandit58]

I thought I was unattractive for years. My husband would never say things to make me feel worthwhile. I hid myself under baggy clothes and thought no one else would want me.

Then I left him and lost weight (about 12lbs). I met a lovely man who always tells me I'm beautiful.....and when I was with him for the first time he made me feel it too. I have a little tummy and my boobs aren't that big......but I carried 2 babies and I don't think I look too bad for 44. I'm never going to look like the women in beauty magazines.....but I like myself much better now

 

[DuckLover]

Keep up the being supportive. Tell her you love her and that she's beautiful. Do so in both sexual AND non-sexual situations. Do so in public-- in front of friends.

When/if she decides to do something to "become" more beautiful (ie. exercise, healthier eating) be supportive of those too. You might even join her. It will further demonstrate your commitment to her AND will make it easier for her to stick to her plan. And it might help you too! (I'm the first to admit I could stand to lose a couple inches around the middle.)

 

[Different Guy]

My girlfriend is the same... kinda

Hey "GhostRidah". I've kinda had/have the same experiance as you. I've been with my girlfriend now for just over 10 months. I really think she's stunning, and she is. All the guys around her want her and flirt with her. But she has such a low view on her appearance. She complains about being fat even tho she has a tight stomach. She complains about her breasts being too big even though they look fantastic and in shape with her body and stuff like that.

I've always told her how beautiful I think she is. Never to sleep with her, we still haven't yet. We enjoy foreplay and Im a virgin and we haven't got to that part yet. Anyways over time she began to accept, "no matter what I look like, or what I think, this guy is mad about me and loves my body".

Even though she thought I was crazy, she accepted that was how I felt. I always have and always do complement her on what she's wearing, how she looks and stuff like that. Out of total honesty too, it's just unfortunate that she doesn't think the same.

Weird thing is, I think so low of myself too and people say I'm good looking but I won't accept it!

 

[SlickTony]

Tell your lady she has nothing to complain of.

 

[Noor]

some concrete suggestions:

offer to be blindfolded.

turn off the lights and use candles, start with one and when she gets more comfortable add more

ask her wear a large mans button down shirt, unbuttoned when having sex, it will give her the illusion of being covered and eventually it will get in her way and she'll remove it

 

[tigerjen]

be supportive....that's the best thing you can do right now.

i know at times I feel that my body is not the best and
have a low self-esteem about it, but one thing to try with
her is to focus on the positive features, i.e. eyes, smile,
soft skin, etc. See how that goes.


tigerjen

 

[SlickTony]

I love lighting the bedroom with candles. Nobody doesn't look good by candlelight.

 

[Avery_Chisholm]

ITA with sexy and bird and you go Bandit