Ghis (closed)

[KieranSoares]

Qira stared at the floor after that, lacking the vocabulary to tell her that it wasn't indecision, but a lack of confidence outside what he was most familiar with. He wasn't a great talker regardless of the language, and he wasn't used to someone being so clearly more in control than he was. If Rissa were a fellow agent, he might've been less hesitant, but he was left at a silent loss.

 

[heartofcourage]

"Sometimes in life you have to be bold. To be with me, that is doubly true." Rissa stood then, placing her book aside and looked down at Qira. "I guess I'll bid you goodnight."

 

[KieranSoares]

Qira glanced up as she spoke, and suddenly he found himself standing as if his body was acting without his shy mind interfering. "I would like to join you," he spoke before he could stop himself, and then he immediately regretted it. "... If... If you... Would like."

 

[heartofcourage]

"Would you really?" Rissa asked him, folding her arms across her chest. "Because I don't know if I really believe you."

 

[KieranSoares]

Qira stared at her for a long moment, before finally taking a deep breath and straightening up. If all else failed, he could pretend he was on a mission and it would give him the ability to use his usual stoicism and calm demeanor to his advantage. "Yes," he spoke more firmly, "I would." He met her eyes, unwavering. She was perhaps the only person who had seen both sides of him in years, and the only one to see how he dealt with feeling anxious and out of place.

 

[heartofcourage]

"You're lying." Rissa said simply, seeing the way that he stared at her as if he had gotten control of himself. "Good night, Qira."

 

[KieranSoares]

Qira tried not to let his disappointment show, more in himself than her rejection. But still, he muttered, "I am not lying... Only nervous. I am not good with words. I do not speak this much normally, in any language."

 

[heartofcourage]

"If you aren't good with words, you need to be good with other things. The way you stand tells me that you are so entirely out of your element. I won't take advantage of someone else, panther. If you want to be my bed partner, you'll show me that you want to be in my bed." Rissa said as she turned at the door and looked at him. "I don't believe you have it in you right now."

 

[KieranSoares]

As Rissa paused once more, Qira considered what he would need to do to prove himself, and decided to relent for the moment. "Good night, then," he murmured, straightening once more as he took a step back. He knew she was right, that he was absolutely out of his element. But he knew himself well enough to realize that he only needed time to think about it before he was able to be more confident.

 

[heartofcourage]

"Good night, Qira." She said as she slipped out of the room and left him to his own devices, knowing that he had a lot to overcome in his own mind before he made that final move with her.

 

[KieranSoares]

Rissa didn't see much of Qira the next day, beyond finding him working with her drakes as if he'd been doing it his entire life. Come dusk, he helped settle the drakes for the night before heading inside for a meal. He was starting to adjust to the new surroundings, becoming his usual stoic and calm self without much effort.

 

[heartofcourage]

Rissa had been impressed when she saw Maisie and Horus sitting calmly near Qira as he worked with the more dire drakes to get them comfortable with hunting. Maisie had even spent a time with her great head in Qira's lap, dozing in the sun as Horus sat as stoic as ever with his arms curled beneath his great golden body.

 

[KieranSoares]

After dinner, Rissa would find Qira out on one of the balconies, leaning on the rail and staring off into the distance, a tankard of mead beside him that he seemed to have forgotten about.

 

[heartofcourage]

"All that hard work today and you still find time to brood." Rissa said as she stepped to the edge of the balcony beside Qira, looking out over her lands as the last of the drakes came in to the stables for the evening.

 

[KieranSoares]

"It is important to reflect," Qira told her simply without his gaze leaving the horizon. But eventually he glanced over to regard her for a long moment. He'd thought of what she had said the night before, off and on through the day. He'd wondered if he'd ruined his chances, and he wondered if he could be as bold and dominant as she wanted. He was only such where his job was concerned. Outside of his work, he was fairly easygoing and remained quiet.

 

[heartofcourage]

"I think it goes beyond reflection." Rissa said softly as she watched the stable hands getting some of the more difficult drakes put up for the night, the older males giving the boys all that they could handle and more. "If you think too hard, you might remember things that you probably never wanted to think about again."

 

[KieranSoares]

Qira watched her as she spoke, and offered quietly, "You speak from much experience."

 

[heartofcourage]

"Too much experience, I suppose." Rissa said softly, looking down at the garden beneath them. "Sometimes it gets lonely not having anyone, but then I realize that I'm alive and all I can do is live for the rest of them that aren't able."

She did miss her brothers and the fun that they had when they were children. It often weighed on her when times got tough and she could have used the extra hands. However, she couldn't change any of that and she had to accept that this was her life.

 

[KieranSoares]

Knowing at least the gist of her story, Qira nodded slowly. "It is lonely. The elder of my village used to say being lonely was worth it, after having the time he did with his family before they died. But I don't know if I agree."

 

[heartofcourage]

"That's a load of horse shit." Rissa said bluntly, looking over at Qira. "Who would choose to be lonely? The lonely are either too wounded to find someone or something new or have had it cruelly taken away from them."

 

[KieranSoares]

"I think he gave up," Qira shrugged slightly. "You are right. He was afraid to find another mate that might be taken away. His only comfort was the memory." He glanced over once more. "But I have found that forgetting is not helpful either."

 

[heartofcourage]

"You'll never forget. That's the terrible part. When you least expect it, all of those memories will come back." Rissa said, her wealth of experience showing on her features. "There's nothing you can do to stop them."

 

[KieranSoares]

"It slows down with time," he murmured, looking out over the estate again. He knew what she spoke of all too well, but his troubling memories were of his worst crimes and contracts. "All you can do is keep moving."

 

[heartofcourage]

Rissa stood there for a moment longer before she turned to go back inside. Pausing, however, she turned to look at Qira and leaned in to kiss his cheek before she excused herself.

 

[KieranSoares]

Qira watched her go for a long moment, knowing their conversation had brought up difficult memories for her. He remained in his place, picking up his tankard for a drink as he continued his quiet reflection.