So I was just wondering some peoples opinions on this, maybe give me a better idea on how to get over this feeling or share their own stories. Im 20 and I am a virgin. I love getting on here and chatting, reading stories and I enjoy watching porn (probably doesnt help my issues); this account is new since my old email was hacked, but on my old account I enjoyed posting and reading here on Lit. Its not that I havent had the chance to have sex in real life, I just never went through with it, I also tend to be the "friend" with guys. I just have a pretty chill personailty and usually have more guy friends then girl friends and wouldnt mess around with one of my friends so it sort of limits my options. I think the main reason being I have the worst self-esteem, not only about my appearance, Im 5'4 and between 170-180 pounds and I have a pretty big butt and really small boobs (36B) but about my "skills" I guess I just feel like you should know what to do and its embaressing to say well I'm a virgin. I think guys would rather not "deal with" someone who has no clue what they are doing and assume if you are virgin you take it very seriously and are saving yourself for the right person, which I dont feel that way at all. All my friends think that I have had sex before and I never deny it if it comes up in conversation but whenever my friends and I do talk about sex I feel unconfortable. I just feel like in my own messed up mind since we are young and they are all skinny and pretty they are allowed to enjoy sex and talk about it but I'm not. And its not that I think I am some super over weight person I just feel like not even if I lost weight butif I just gained more confidence I would be able to talk about and enjoy having sex more. Im at the point where I just want to loose it and be able to have fun with it and ignore my own issues. Its weird for me to admit all this because I dont think anyone besides my mom really knows I feel so insecure, Im so outgoing and portray this "fake confidence" I just need to learn how to actually feel "real confidence" and get past my own issues so I can actually do something I think I will enjoy! So advice away!
getting past my own worries..
- Thread starter Mermaid12
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tmmmbrrr
Literotica Guru
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Mermaid,
Most people are insecure and deal with it in a million different ways until they get to know and accept themselves. You're in good company.
I wouldn't worry about your virginity - loosing it or keeping it. Really. I know lots of people whose obsession about what they wanted most of all prevented them from having it. My advice: live in the moment, love yourself first -- there is somebody out there who is just waiting to be shown how precious you are.
Most people are insecure and deal with it in a million different ways until they get to know and accept themselves. You're in good company.
I wouldn't worry about your virginity - loosing it or keeping it. Really. I know lots of people whose obsession about what they wanted most of all prevented them from having it. My advice: live in the moment, love yourself first -- there is somebody out there who is just waiting to be shown how precious you are.
Well to tell you the truth mermaid your body type is exactly what I love in a women, short and candy coated, there are tons of guys that adore a women like you! And as your "skills" don't rush into anything your not comfortable with, skills come with experience and if you find the right guy he will go slow and take his time and make you feel comfortable! And as far as being a virgin, good for you! When you find the right guy it will be special not only for you but also for him. Hope this helps.
darkangel86
In love and engaged
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First, do not let anyone rush you. Take your time my dear in getting to the sex part. For example, I waited, way past my friends. True friends will not care whether you had sex or not and they will respect you if you have not yet. Real confidence comes from loving yourself, tell yourself you are awesome (which I am sure you are) and be happy with who you are. Do not fake it to make others happy
lighterman75
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I was going to write some big spiel here to help you along your way, but then I stopped and thought what really got me through my late cherry popping. I had a lack of confidence about whether I would be any good, whether I would cum at all or at the right time (in your trousers before anyone has even removed any clothes is not a great start for a bloke). I worried about how i looked. i worried i was a late starter.
Then someone said to me that it just didnt matter. The looks thing? They said tell yourself every day how good looking you are. Tell yourself you have a good shape. What you think are your worst features are actually your best features. Eventually you will talk yourself round. Better than telling yourself the opposite, which is what i had been doing for years. (look at the range of shapes and sizes of women that post on AmPics and you will see what effect they have on men). You find yourself attractive, men will too.
If you are crap in bed first time, does it matter?Everyone is first time. (apart from me, I was brilliant first time, lasted ages...mustve been about 30 seconds, and she came like a train)
As for blokes not wanting to deal with someone who doesnt know what they are doing?Some blokes may be like that, but most wont care, they'll probably be more like "wahey! i'm going to have sex!"
The late starting thing doesnt matter. I know people who were having sex at 16, and then not again for years. I've known people who first had sex mid twenties, and then were at it with all and sundry. Everyone is different.
When i was your age, all my male friends were shagging everywhere. Or so they said. Turned out a lot was bluster, and bravado. I had mostly female friends, (funnily enough most of them were virgins too, and equally funnily enough, lost this status almost straight after me....), so all talk of sex was a little awkward for me.
End of the day, everyone is different. Dont measure yourself against their sexlives.
That wasnt supposed to be that long. Anyway what tmmmbrrr said
Then someone said to me that it just didnt matter. The looks thing? They said tell yourself every day how good looking you are. Tell yourself you have a good shape. What you think are your worst features are actually your best features. Eventually you will talk yourself round. Better than telling yourself the opposite, which is what i had been doing for years. (look at the range of shapes and sizes of women that post on AmPics and you will see what effect they have on men). You find yourself attractive, men will too.
If you are crap in bed first time, does it matter?Everyone is first time. (apart from me, I was brilliant first time, lasted ages...mustve been about 30 seconds, and she came like a train)
As for blokes not wanting to deal with someone who doesnt know what they are doing?Some blokes may be like that, but most wont care, they'll probably be more like "wahey! i'm going to have sex!"
The late starting thing doesnt matter. I know people who were having sex at 16, and then not again for years. I've known people who first had sex mid twenties, and then were at it with all and sundry. Everyone is different.
When i was your age, all my male friends were shagging everywhere. Or so they said. Turned out a lot was bluster, and bravado. I had mostly female friends, (funnily enough most of them were virgins too, and equally funnily enough, lost this status almost straight after me....), so all talk of sex was a little awkward for me.
End of the day, everyone is different. Dont measure yourself against their sexlives.
That wasnt supposed to be that long. Anyway what tmmmbrrr said
