Getting over your ex

[satindesire]

Nevermind.

 

[infinity706]

I guess I'll just run up the white flag. Believe it or not I was just trying to help drawing from my own personal experiences. I realize that anyone's own personal experiences don't just automatically apply to every situation but apparently I didn't say anything different than what some of her own friends said. Some of it is just the Mars/Venus thing. I thought she came here looking for advice when maybe all she wanted was some shoulders to lean on. My mistake. I went through hell for quite a few years in a similar situation and if there is anything I can do to help stop that from happening to someone else I thought I'd give it a shot. When people do come here looking for advice I'm going to give it to them, whether it's what they want to hear or not. Sometimes the best advice is the kind you don't want to hear.

The Mars/Venus thing donesn't exist as far as I can tell. There's just way too much sexism and gender role stereotyping still going on today. Women can take charge, do math, fix things, think critically, burp, fart, swear, love sex, and anything else just as well as a guy. Guys can also be sensitive, caring, cook, take care of kids, clean, be submissive, and anything else just as well as a woman. Sure, men and women aren't identical, but the biological differences aren't that big of a deal. Once you get people to trust you and you sit down and talk with them, you realize just how much more important social factors are. We have lots of women out there, not having sex because they're afraid it will hurt, they'll get pregnant, they'll get called a slut, they hate their figure, they're afraid guys will get mad if they ask for what they want... You wouldn't believe how many women there are that would love a little action with another woman, get gangbanged, spank a guy, fuck him in the ass, or even jump their significant other at the door, rip his pants off, and blow the hell out of him right there. There's a ton of women that would do all those things you see in porn. They just won't do it for everyone because they're scared of ruining their reputation or having to do it all the time. There aren't many women in upper level math classes, math related fields, "nerdy" hobbies that, of course, involve math, mechanical work, construction, exective positions, and all that, not because women tend to lack leadership skills, math skills, coordination, or are worried about getting dirty. They just don't want to be treated like an outcast and spend more time prioritising their family and friends over their career. I bet a lot of guys would be amazed how many women there are playing online games, though, where they can just be a gamer instead of a "woman gamer" and get treated like special, alien race just because they have nice tits. Just look at how violent and crazy women can get when you put them out on a sports field.

Seriously, men and women both spend too much fucking time trying to impress each other and doing what men and women are "supposed to do" instead of doing what they'd really enjoy doing. I'm just going to sit back and wait because one day, it'll be acceptable for guys to wear dresses and have sex with other men that includes all the other fun like romance, kissing, and everything else. Women will be able to walk down the street topless without worrying about getting raped, ending up on the front page of the newspaper, or even hit on any more than when she's wearing a shirt.

 

[Guest]

I guess I'll just run up the white flag. Believe it or not I was just trying to help drawing from my own personal experiences. I realize that anyone's own personal experiences don't just automatically apply to every situation but apparently I didn't say anything different than what some of her own friends said. Some of it is just the Mars/Venus thing. I thought she came here looking for advice when maybe all she wanted was some shoulders to lean on. My mistake. I went through hell for quite a few years in a similar situation and if there is anything I can do to help stop that from happening to someone else I thought I'd give it a shot. When people do come here looking for advice I'm going to give it to them, whether it's what they want to hear or not. Sometimes the best advice is the kind you don't want to hear.

i'm sorry this has gone to far as to insult someone, i didn't mean to belittle your opinnion or advice, but i don't think it has anything to do with the fact that I'm a girl and you're a guy. I appreciate every kind of advice I'm getting because I know deep inside that most of the things people have said here are true. I'm saying most because you did go as far as to say that what I was feeling was not real, I just want to point out that I wasn't looking for a pity party, and wasn't expecting a bunch of open arms (which I appreciate inmensely! ), I almost expected everyone to say the same things you've said, but that doesn't mean it hurts less or its going to go away faster that way, like I said, I didn't explain all the details or the exact nature of our relationship but I don't know if you cant expect everyone to react the same or take the same advice you took for your own experience, still i appreciate it, whether it was rude or not.

 

[sbguy921]

So my story is kind of a sad one. I was trying to save our relationship by the end of last year going so far as to practically begging him to give us another chance. Little did I know, one of my best friends had introduced him to a girl who quickly fell for him and he was starting to have feelings for her as well, but he never told me that. its been 6 months since we stopped having any type of communication (my choice). it was difficult at first and eventually i met more people, met another guy whom i've been seeing for 5 months already, but lately it just gets to the point that i dream about my ex every night. I can't stop thinking of him, I can't stop obsessing over the incredibly amazing time we had together and what it felt like to know that someone loved you no matter what. This is driving me insane.

I'll try to shorten this for the purposes of this forum:

I dated this girl for about two years. Everything seemed amazing, and at first it probably was. We seemed to deeply love one another (I know I did her), and we loved spending time together. I used to get swamped with messages when we were apart telling me how amazing I was and how much she missed me ... not to mention the phone calls. I, of course, would return the favor, telling her how I felt, and showing her by trying my best to be the best man I could be for her. That said, it wasn't enough. I'm human, and I make mistakes, and like the song says "there are some things in life that are not meant to be." We split, got back together, and then split again after another year. It's still unclear to me if she was cheating on me in the leadup, and quite honestly I don't want to know, and I don't really care.

After two years I still haven't found the answer to this question of how to get over her. I try my hardest to move on: I've gotten rid of the pictures, and of things that directly reminded me of her, but it's no use. Just three nights ago I had a vivid dream about her and it broke my heart: I woke up in a start just wanting to cry. I've dated as much as I can with little success, and so, in the meantime, I've done the only thing I can do to numb the pain: work my ass off and stay so busy that I don't have much time to even think of her until I'm dreaming. Or when I'm alone, when it hurts the most.

So, in the end, I guess that I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help, but I hope that maybe it helps to know you aren't alone. I know in my heart I'll always love her, but I also know that it's not going to happen. She's made her choice and moved on. I've been left to pick up the broken parts of my life. I'll always smile when thinking back on the time we had, even if I'm crying as I smile. And so it goes...