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Getting in the mood to submit

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Liana26

Really Experienced
Joined
Dec 4, 2004
Posts
244
Some days I just feel like the absolute last thing I want to do is be submissive. I'm never in a generally good mood when I feel like this and it's a totally random feeling. Nothing really sets it off. I don't like this feeling because I love being submissive and it's not fair to Tyler because I don't want him to feel like he has to tiptoe around me because GOD FORBID I don't feel like doing what he says at that particular moment. I think if I could just find a way to get over these mood swings, I'd be a lot happier and so would he.

I remember one time I was over his knee for a fairly minor offense and all the spanking really started to hurt. Normally when it starts to get bad I sort of unintentionally roll away and squirm a lot but I was absolutely determined to stay still that time, and I did. So after he was done, he pulled me to his chest and said with genuine dissappointment, "You're so good sometimes, and so bad at others. Why is that?" I didn't really have an answer for him other than my moodiness, but it really hurt me that I upset him so much.

The funny part is, I ALWAYS admit I was wrong after a few minutes of giving him the silent treatment. It seems like a waste of time to me. Maybe all I need is a time out but if anyone has any suggestions or maybe reading recommendations, I'd be very grateful. I'm a bit hesitant on doing a search myself because my computer died so I'm on a public computer and I don't know what I'd do if I searched for something sexually related and wound up getting a bunch of nasty pop-up ads that I can't control. I mean, there are children in this lab. :eek:
 
Liana26 said:
I it's not fair to Tyler because I don't want him to feel like he has to tiptoe around me because GOD FORBID I don't feel like doing what he says at that particular moment.
Click to expand...

:D
 
I know what you mean. If you figure out some way to work around this problem, though, let me know. I'm still trying to figure it out myself. I just figure it's one of those 'nobody's perfect' type things. I wonder if dom's occasionally don't feel like dominating? *shrugs* Either way, you just keep trying, doing your best, and taking your licks when you screw up, I guess. Just like with everything else in life.
 
Maybe you're not a submissive, but a woman who enjoys some kink now and then.

Worse things could happen...
 
Very nice

A thought provoking thread on a subject not covered often and in a rarely shown way.

Congrats.
 
graceanne said:
I wonder if dom's occasionally don't feel like dominating?
Click to expand...

yes - at least, some of us feel that way at times. sometimes, I don't give a damn what they do, as long as they leave me the hell alone. or I just want to do totally nilla things with them ... or ... *shrugs* hard to explain.
 
Firstly, you are human....that translates to no matter how much you would want it otherwise, you are not going to be perfect 100% of the time. Contrary to what some think, you can be submissive to the core, but there will be times when submission does not come easily or pleasantly. I have a bit of a strange thought process on submission....if you are doing what you want, what comes naturally, what always feeds your needs, is it really submitting or is it getting your needs met ?

Submission, if you look at actual meanings of the word means to yield, cease resistance, give way to another's will....so it seems it is something which first requires you overcome the natural desire to resist, so then you have something to submit, no? That may be how your needs are met also, but as it is a case of breaking your own resistance, unless you are a character in a fantasy novel I doubt you are going to win the battle 100% of the time.

As to why some days become particularly difficult compared to others, it is a common issue with submissives. The reasons are many, and individual, often obscure. The best thing is if your Dominant can work with you to find the reasons and find a way to combat the roadblocks to your submission in those moments. As Domly as it is often touted to be, refusing to accept you have a problem and demand you just submit, not only shows a lack of experience IMO, but also makes the problem that much more difficult to cope with.

Some of the causes can be depression, PMS, stress and life events which have affected your everyday peace of mind and focus, ill health, and sometimes another problem moment within the relationship which is festering inside. Of course there are many more reasons too, but it is something you need to work to find then continue working through until you come out the other side. Main thing to remember is beating up on yourself over it will only compound the problem and steal energy you could put into solving the problem, or at least discovering the cause. Good luck....it is never an easy thing to endure.

Catalina:rose:
 
Thank you AA :)

I'm going to try yoga. I think my moodiness is stress-related and if people have been using yoga for hundreds of years to relieve stress, it must do something... otherwise you'd think they'd've caught on by now.

Thank you for the support everyone!

:p
 
Liana26 said:
Thank you AA :)
Click to expand...
Quite welcome.
Liana26 said:

I'm going to try yoga. I think my moodiness is stress-related and if people have been using yoga for hundreds of years to relieve stress, it must do something... otherwise you'd think they'd've caught on by now.
Click to expand...
People have been fucking to relieve stress for (pick your space time continuum based on your beliefs) as well ... http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/2cool2.gif
 
my current method for making sure that I stay in the mood to Domme is to make floggers ... of course, knowing that one of them scares the shit out of me and is probably going to be used on me anyway isn't really helping LOL
 
getting in the mood to sub

They are called dominants.Not bullies.
A real partner would be helping you work through it.
 
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