Getting back together?

[biggieds]

I need some advice. What do you guys think about asking a woman out again, after you've broken up and everyone is happy, and you're friends again and you just feel a strong vibe? Any advice? I mean I personally may be considering asking a woman out again, but, would you guys in general recommend it?

Thanks,
Dave

 

[lovechild27]

I say...you broke up for a reason. Let it be and enjoy your friendship.

 

[MercyMia]

I agree with lovechild. The strong vibe might be wistful thinking in action. Better to be based in the realness of the current friendship.

Good luck.

 

[Lust Engine]

Oooo...once you cross that imaginary line in the sand, it's awfully difficult to cross back over it.

That being said, I think there are exceptions to the rule. The underlying thing has to be WHY it didn't work out the first time around. Obviously there was something there that made you guys split. If that can be overcome, I don't see why not but I'd also have to say it's the rarity.

If it's been a sufficient time & both of you have grown (and that can be very difficult to ascertain), you do stand the chance to grow back together. I would highly say no to getting back after a short time apart; feelings are still very raw & hurt. Let time heal & pass before trying to step back into things.

Only you'll know the right time, if ever the chemistry will be re-kindled. You might discover why you broke it off to begin with again!

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[lilpriss]

I would say feel the situation out, it really just depends, things could work out... but they could blow up in your face again too,

Have you learned anything about the other person that makes you believe that history won't repeat itself?

If you broke it off because one of you got scared, then I say go for it. Because it could be the best thing in the world for both of you.

However, if you broke it off because you fight too much or have other issues that aare unresolveable, then I say no way.

 

[Hurricane1484]

Just take it one step at a time if you decide to tell her about these feelings you are having. Sometimes seconds chances are better...you just have to follow your heart and take things slow.

 

[Guest]

I say...you broke up for a reason. Let it be and enjoy your friendship.

This is the first time I ever agreed w/ you. Dave, do not feel compelled to get back with her. It will lead to heart ache.
I know you may be eager to get back to dating but do yourself a favor and look for a new love.

 

[Noor]

I think it depends upon the circumstances, the people involved and why you want to.

I am the product of two people who split up for a couple years before getting back together and getting married. My parents are still married and reasonably happy. My mother has said two things me concerning her marrying my dad; she likes african elephants and he has big ears, and it was worse being without him than with him.

Actually there is a tradition of sorts in my mother's family for the women to break up with their future husbands, and send them far away for a few years before marrying them.

If you feel like asking her out, I would just talk to her about it. You already know each other so you should be able to do this pretty easily. Just tell her what you told us and see if she thinks it is a good idea. Try and be prepared to answer the question "why?" because she is going to ask that.

Good Luck.

 

[ClubIrish]

If you want it and you think it is right, then I say go for it, she can always say no and things can resume the way that they are, or you can always be left wondering if she was the right one for you. But some good points have been made here already, what happened the first time to break you guys up, what would be different this time, if there are no real answers to those questions, don't wast your time or her time.

 

[biggieds]

It didnt work so well the 1st time because she became more interested in another guy. But....he rejected her, then she was depressed, then we started talking, I got some smiles, some good vibes, some laughs, you know...all the good stuff, but that is probably all friends kinda stuff now that i think about it.

Dave

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[bigtxson]

definite no no

 

[watergirl]

No. Spare yourselves. Getting back together with someone, breaking up again, etc - no fun, not worth it. I did it my sophomore year of college, and if I could go back, it's the one biggerst thing in my life I'd undo.... umm. Yeah.

Now, sex with the ex can be ok. Sometimes it's just the reminder you need that it just wasn't as good as you'd like to remember. If so, don't tell the ex, no reason to trash them... but keep it in mind, and move on.

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[Lust Engine]

Or sex with the ex can remind you of what you really lost.....

Or it could just be plain ol' rip roarin' emotion-free fun!

 

[deliciously_naughty]

during my last relationship, we got together and broke up 3 times...and each time it got uglier...just say NO

 

[Lust Engine]

Each relationship has its own nuances. I'd play it by ear as far as getting back together; it could be ideal or it could be like a second train wreck. We've all got our opinions & can re-count stories about our own cases of good and bad, but ultimately you're the one in the relationship. Best of luck with it.

 

[lilpriss]

AMEN LE!

 

[Lust Engine]

AMEN LE!

Thanks for the vote of confidence as always lilpriss.

I just want people to be happy in their lives and be responsible to one another as well as themselves.