KillerMuffin
Seraphically Disinclined
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2000
- Posts
- 25,603
Here are a few tips on how to get in touch with inner lovable you that's begging to come out.
1) Call up that relative you dislike and ask them to not come to the reunion because they ruin everything.
2) Next time you see a female acquaintance say, "Oh my gawd, you're not going to wear those shoes with that are you? No, no, don't worry about it. I guess it's okay."
3) When you're out with your lover and you happen to see a hot looking guy/girl, say "I wish you had an ass like that!"
4) Take your bad mood out on everyone. That's what they're for.
5) Get your SO all steamed up before you have to leave for the evening, then find a reason to get pissy enough to tell them to get lost afterward.
6) Gossip wildly and then tell the gossipee every vicious detail, leaving out your own part, of course.
7) Compliment effusively on the dye job/toupee of your boss or coworker. Make sure you compliment sweetly enough so that the message, "I can't believe you'd actually go into public like that" comes across loud and clear. It doesn't matter if they have a dye job/toupee, all the better if they don't.
8) Find a daily fault with your neighbors and spend five minutes letting them know about it. Even if you have manufacture something.
9) Use a tone of false sincerity in personal conversations. Particularly if you're helping someone through a personal crisis.
10) Never fail to develop sarcasm in any situation. Particularly when someone is behaving in a way that's irritating at least half of the people present and to say anything about it would be very bad manners.
1) Call up that relative you dislike and ask them to not come to the reunion because they ruin everything.
2) Next time you see a female acquaintance say, "Oh my gawd, you're not going to wear those shoes with that are you? No, no, don't worry about it. I guess it's okay."
3) When you're out with your lover and you happen to see a hot looking guy/girl, say "I wish you had an ass like that!"
4) Take your bad mood out on everyone. That's what they're for.
5) Get your SO all steamed up before you have to leave for the evening, then find a reason to get pissy enough to tell them to get lost afterward.
6) Gossip wildly and then tell the gossipee every vicious detail, leaving out your own part, of course.
7) Compliment effusively on the dye job/toupee of your boss or coworker. Make sure you compliment sweetly enough so that the message, "I can't believe you'd actually go into public like that" comes across loud and clear. It doesn't matter if they have a dye job/toupee, all the better if they don't.
8) Find a daily fault with your neighbors and spend five minutes letting them know about it. Even if you have manufacture something.
9) Use a tone of false sincerity in personal conversations. Particularly if you're helping someone through a personal crisis.
10) Never fail to develop sarcasm in any situation. Particularly when someone is behaving in a way that's irritating at least half of the people present and to say anything about it would be very bad manners.
