Gentle/ caring/ Daddy Dom

[Liberia]

Good day to all of you and a question for the experienced kinksters here:

How many of you identify more with the gentle, tender, caring Dom? I am asking for all active parties, either giving or receiving.

For the Doms:
How does a dynamic look for you?
Does it always have to involve tasks and punishments?
When and how did you notice that you were drawn to the gentle and caring side?
Or could it just look like a caring relationship but with more nurturing and care involved and a kinky side in the bedroom?
What is the fulfillment that you get out of it?
Were you or are you in a functioning relationship that worked for a longer time and involved a Gentle Dom/ Daddy Dom dynamic?

For the subs:
What do you like about it?
Do you expand some of it into life outside of the bedroom?
What are you looking for in a partner?


Any answers here or via PM if you feel the answers are too intimate are very welcome and will be treated with great care, discretion and respect.

Good day and kind regards

L.

 

[Honeysuckleboi]

As a very submissive trans guy, I love a caring Daddy Dom because they make me feel safe and comforted, and like I can be cute and subby and maybe a little feminine where I might not otherwise feel safe doing so.

There's something very erotic for me about an older, more experienced man wanting to take care of me and make me feel good, and knowing he gets off on making me feel good is like a positive feedback loop.
And, well, being told I'm a good boy or that I'm doing a good job for him.....oooougghhh it makes my pussy gush. Service with immediate positive vocal feedback feels so pleasurable!

I'm submissive outside the bedroom too, and while I have my own opinions and ways of doing things, having a gentle, caring Dom around to take care of me and make sure I look after myself would probably really help keep me a little more mentally organized hehe. And the potential for cuddling! I like intimate nonsexual physicality too, and having a big, warm Daddy to hug and cuddle with is sooo comforting.

I like Doms that are gentle and caring, obviously, but ones that can also be firm and put me in my place if need be while still caring for me. I love ceding control and being told what to do to pleasure my Dom, and actively hearing that he enjoys my submission will only reinforce my desire to submit. But he has to have my trust completely, or I struggle to fully submit!

At the end of the day, I just want to be respected as a person and not just a sex object despite wanting to submit deeply and regularly.

 

[tpsmps]

Good day to all of you and a question for the experienced kinksters here:

How many of you identify more with the gentle, tender, caring Dom? I am asking for all active parties, either giving or receiving.

For the Doms:
How does a dynamic look for you?
Does it always have to involve tasks and punishments?
When and how did you notice that you were drawn to the gentle and caring side?
Or could it just look like a caring relationship but with more nurturing and care involved and a kinky side in the bedroom?
What is the fulfillment that you get out of it?
Were you or are you in a functioning relationship that worked for a longer time and involved a Gentle Dom/ Daddy Dom dynamic?

For the subs:
What do you like about it?
Do you expand some of it into life outside of the bedroom?
What are you looking for in a partner?


Any answers here or via PM if you feel the answers are too intimate are very welcome and will be treated with great care, discretion and respect.

Good day and kind regards

L.

Daddydom/subdaughter role play!!
In BDSM things are not white or black it is always grey!! all depends!! let us say The Iron hand in silky Glove, honey and piment!! A sub is not looking for a gentile-Dom but some one who understand her needs. Some subs are pain-sluts it does not mean to be crual out limits with!! where you define your needs?

 

[LordofDargaardkeep]

How does a dynamic look for you?

It looks like a connection or relationship based on similar needs and desires but through different roles.

Does it always have to involve tasks and punishments?

No it does not. Those are just details or tools used in specific situations as needed or warranted by the individual.

When and how did you notice that you were drawn to the gentle and caring side?

I have always known and felt it as just a part of who I am as a person. Its part of the balance in all the complex aspects of my personality that defines me.

Or could it just look like a caring relationship but with more nurturing and care involved and a kinky side in the bedroom?
What is the fulfillment that you get out of it?
Were you or are you in a functioning relationship that worked for a longer time and involved a Gentle Dom/ Daddy Dom dynamic?

I couldn't be in a relationship or involved with someone in that dynamic if I did not care for them and respect them greatly. It has to be woven into every aspect of the relationship both in and out of the bedroom. It is the only way I can find balance in it. The caring, the connection, the intimacy, the unbridled passion, it all has to flow from the same place. Through her I find me and together we build us. The yen to my yang. It isn't about power, control, cruelty or sex. Its about balance. Its about respect and acceptance and the fulfillment of something deeper and more personal.

 

[Liberia]

It looks like a connection or relationship based on similar needs and desires but through different roles.



No it does not. Those are just details or tools used in specific situations as needed or warranted by the individual.


I have always known and felt it as just a part of who I am as a person. Its part of the balance in all the complex aspects of my personality that defines me.



I couldn't be in a relationship or involved with someone in that dynamic if I did not care for them and respect them greatly. It has to be woven into every aspect of the relationship both in and out of the bedroom. It is the only way I can find balance in it. The caring, the connection, the intimacy, the unbridled passion, it all has to flow from the same place. Through her I find me and together we build us. The yen to my yang. It isn't about power, control, cruelty or sex. Its about balance. Its about respect and acceptance and the fulfillment of something deeper and more personal.

Beautiful answer, thank you. ♡

 

[G00d91rl]

I prefer gentle but very firm.
Intelligent control better than humiliation.
Being a good girl instead of a slut.
Someone in control that I can trust.

 

[EdwardsOtherSide]

I don't really think of myself as a dom, but....

Domination by use of force or pain is easy.
Domination by use of pleasure is nuanced, both physical pleasure and a psychological rush.

Bondage as purely a power move is sort of lame.
Bondage as a means to bring your partner to a more intense climax is a psychological rush.

Tasks & punishment is an approach, I guess. I prefer someone who willingly submits, but then I have the responsibility to be worthy of that submission and to earn it in every encounter.

Domination is about wielding power, but wielding power with nuance, with a creative approach is, for me, far more of a thrill than what I see as cruelty & degradation.

If it drifts into a "Daddy" dynamic, I can work with that, but that would be my partner's idea more than mine.

Enh.
Enough rambling for now.
I will think more about this.

 

[EdwardsOtherSide]

Disclosure; I have written a few stories on Lit that explore my thoughts & approach to bondage & domination.
My most recent one is "Exploration" and it is the most unambiguous discussion of my perspectives.

The other stories that include domination themes are much more about the plot than my reflections on the sub...ject

 

[Liberia]

Disclosure; I have written a few stories on Lit that explore my thoughts & approach to bondage & domination.
My most recent one is "Exploration" and it is the most unambiguous discussion of my perspectives.

Thank you, will give it a read, Edward.

 

[tpsmps]

I prefer gentle but very firm.
Intelligent control better than humiliation.
Being a good girl instead of a slut.
Someone in control that I can trust.

1000% agree this is what it should be!! Let things grow smoothly

 

[G00d91rl]

1000% agree this is what it should be!! Let things grow smoothly

Exactement

 

[tpsmps]

Exactement

on pm please

 

[Primalex]

Good day to all of you and a question for the experienced kinksters here:

How many of you identify more with the gentle, tender, caring Dom? I am asking for all active parties, either giving or receiving.

For the Doms:
How does a dynamic look for you?
Does it always have to involve tasks and punishments?
When and how did you notice that you were drawn to the gentle and caring side?
Or could it just look like a caring relationship but with more nurturing and care involved and a kinky side in the bedroom?
What is the fulfillment that you get out of it?
Were you or are you in a functioning relationship that worked for a longer time and involved a Gentle Dom/ Daddy Dom dynamic?

Not that easy to answer for me.

I have a talent for making people feel humiliated, my cock gets hard on abuse, but I'm also a pretty calm and caring person. I'm much less obnoxious in real life than here.

In real life, tasks haven't been a thing, and spankings were handed out for the desired pain, not as punishment for failure. My requirements for a long-term dynamic are free use, oral sex and no age regression (as in: You want to collect plushies and call me daddy or pretend to be a student and wear pigtails? Fine. But I'm not fucking you while you suck on a pacifier.). Turning women into a puddle of goo and sticking my dick into wet and warm orifices and filling them with cum is fun, I don't need much more fulfillment. This doesn't mean I won't feel proud of myself if I somehow improve the life of someone else as a guardian, mentor or whatever, but it's not some ache I need to squelch.

 

[DoItAgain1144]

For the Doms:
How does a dynamic look for you?
Friendship and connection primarily. To me there's a ton of trust required to push boundaries. Trust is a two way street. She needs to know with 100% confidence that when I bring a pair of scissors to her skin that I will never harm her. She needs to know with 100% confidence that when my hands are around her neck I will never harm her.

Does it always have to involve tasks and punishments?
Rarely. For me the dynamic is far more bedrooms specific. You have to listen to me around sex stuff. But I prefer relationships that are partnerships. And a dom/sub dynamic is an incredible partnership based on mutual respect and trust. Outside the bedroom you should joke with me, spar with me mentally, give me a hard time when I do something goofy. Inside the bedroom I demand compliance. Your orgasm revolves entirely around your ability to comply. Sometimes it will just be restraints and make you orgasm endlessly. Sometimes it will be endless teasing. Sometimes I'll set you up for failure so that I can punish you and deny your orgasm for days or weeks.

When and how did you notice that you were drawn to the gentle and caring side?
I always have been. But its only recently that I've learned that there's this place in between pure dom and romantic. That's where I fall and I'm grateful that there's space for a guy like me who wants to have a caring loving relationship that is about connection and respect, and then demand my beautiful slut give herself completely to me - all her pain and pleasure - behind closed doors.

Or could it just look like a caring relationship but with more nurturing and care involved and a kinky side in the bedroom?
It could. In fact that's really where I seem to fall. But its beyond just a kinky side in the bedroom. The bedroom is a dynamic unto itself. Its an agreement of surrender and boundaries and rules.

What is the fulfillment that you get out of it?
I get off on causing pleasure, and pain, and being in control of those things. But even more than that: I really really love the level of connection that grows from total surrender. Dom space is a lot like sub space from what I understand. I get lost in it. Revel in it. I get really creative and the whole world disappears.

Were you or are you in a functioning relationship that worked for a longer time and involved a Gentle Dom/ Daddy Dom dynamic?
My ex fiance and I had an incredible dynamic. It was ruined by geography and my dominant side went into hiding.

 

[Biglibido99]

As a soft Dom is on the more caring, even romantic side, it would seem to me that it's nearly the perfect relationship - caring, trusting, loving in an equal partnership outside the bedroom, submitting, being controlled, being released emotionally for the sub, inside the bedroom.

Both dynamics feeding one another, strengthening the connection, the relationship.

It sounds to me that is bordering on, if not fully, the definition of love - moreso for the sub? What about the Dom?

Questions for you soft Doms, - have I characterised this correctly? How often do subs fall in love with their soft, caring Dom and is it reciprocal or is that a problem for a Dom?

 

[DynamicFigure]

I’m gentle, but firm. Bratty behavior is swiftly disciplined.

 

[mentalmaven]

When and how did you notice that you were drawn to the gentle and caring side?
Or could it just look like a caring relationship but with more nurturing and care involved and a kinky side in the bedroom?
What is the fulfillment that you get out of it?

A gentle and caring relationship centers on the person and is grounded in trust, faith, and emotional security.

As a relationship incorporates more kink, the focus often shifts toward pushing boundaries and exploring limits, which can move the attention away from the person and the emotional connection.

Kinky can be fun and exciting, but the foundation remains rooted in that deep sense of care and mutual trust.

 

[Biglibido99]

A gentle and caring relationship centers on the person and is grounded in trust, faith, and emotional security.

As a relationship incorporates more kink, the focus often shifts toward pushing boundaries and exploring limits, which can move the attention away from the person and the emotional connection.

Kinky can be fun and exciting, but the foundation remains rooted in that deep sense of care and mutual trust.

And does pushing the boundaries, exploring the limits lead to deeper care and mutual trust or does it remain at the same level? Asking for a friend - really, that's not a joke

 

[Liberia]

As a soft down is on the more caring, even romantic side, it would seem to me that it's nearly the perfect relationship - caring, trusting, loving in an equal partnership outside the bedroom, submitting, being controlled, being released emotionally for the sub, inside the bedroom.

Both dynamics feeding one another, strengthening the connection, the relationship.

It sounds to me that is bordering on, if not fully, the definition of love - moreso for the sub? What about the Dom?

Questions for you soft Doms, - have I characterised this correctly? How often do subs fall in love with their soft, caring Dom and is it reciprocal or is that a problem for a Dom?

I can't write her too much for reasons of privacy, but yes, it's a mutual spiraling dynamic in my experience. Like a hurricane.

And does pushing the boundaries, exploring the limits lead to deeper care and mutual trust or does it remain at the same level? Asking for a friend - really, that's not a joke

In my experience it leads to deeper care and more mutual trust, makes it more intense, more potential but more risks too.


For more: PM.

 

[Biglibido99]

I can't write her too much for reasons of privacy, but yes, it's a mutual spiraling dynamic in my experience. Like a hurricane.


In my experience it leads to deeper care and more mutual trust, makes it more intense, more potential but more risks too.


For more: PM.

Thank you, I'll PM

 

[mentalmaven]

And does pushing the boundaries, exploring the limits lead to deeper care and mutual trust or does it remain at the same level? Asking for a friend - really, that's not a joke

It may… though, as Liberia wisely said, “more risks too.”

My concern is that the relationship becomes built on the kinks. If one don’t feel the same connection at level 2, there might be a temptation to try level 3 to get that feeling back. At that point, it’s the kink itself that’s providing the connection, not the bond between them.

 

[Liberia]

It may… though, as Liberia wisely said, “more risks too.”

My concern is that the relationship becomes built on the kinks. If one don’t feel the same connection at level 2, there might be a temptation to try level 3 to get that feeling back. At that point, it’s the kink itself that’s providing the connection, not the bond between them.

I was talking about pushing past emotional barriers too, all the vulnerability and such.

 

[Biglibido99]

I was talking about pushing past emotional barriers too, all the vulnerability and such.

Yes, that's what I thought you meant and my thinking too. There can often be such a close connection between the emotional and physical aspects that going further into the physical side would naturally seem to involve delving further into the emotional side - not always and not the other way around either.

 

[Biglibido99]

I'm finding it hard to differentiate between the common definition of love and the D/s relationship being discussed in this thread. Am I missing some subtleties?

 

[NIKAlit96]

I prefer gentle but very firm.
Intelligent control better than humiliation.
Being a good girl instead of a slut.
Someone in control that I can trust.

This is me also very much so.