Gender Bending

[Homburg]

I asked my s/o about this (along with my ex girl and my ex sir). I had always assumed that I walk the same way, all the time. I found out though, that I don't. Depending on what I am wearing, or whether or not I am depressed, my walk changes. Usually (for my height) I walk with long strides, arms kind of bouncing, shoulders up. (Imagine a very energetic welter weight boxer is what my ex's say) When I am in a skirt and heels (but only then) I have a sway in my hips. If I am depressed my s/o says I walk on the balls of my feet, shoulders dropped, fists curled (like a mini Mike Tyson, his words not mine)..how weird is that??

(Okay back to reading)

That's more or less why I asked. I watch how people walk, along with a hundred other indicators, to read mood and state of mind. I can usually tell how someone is feeling far before I ask how they are. It lead me to wonder if people with a more fluid gender identity changed the way they walked due to mindset alone, or if it was in keeping with a role/costume.

 

[omniavincet]

Gender bending rocks, from the clothing aspect to exploration of typical male and female sex roles. I have always been sort of stuck in the middle.

I've loved sneaking into women's underthings since I was in middle school, got an earring when most guys I knew thought it meant you were gay (living in Michigan, anyway...), but only recently have I realized how much tension I've carried for not being able to express my "feminine" side more openly. With my wife's blessing lately I've started doing nail polish on my toes and housework in some of her panties.

I'll second the crap you get from friends for nail polish - you could hear a pin drop a few months ago when we were at dinner with several couples and someone spotted that I had several colors of polish on my thumbs from where I had been testing them at the store. The woman next to me asked if I was helping my wife choose a color and my wife said, no, we were looking at polish for him. Then she just let it go and our dear Protestant anal retentive friends swallowed and went back to their food without saying a word.

Right now I'm trying to figure out how much more I'm comfortable with in public. I like messing with people a bit but I'm worried about the backlash (not to mention my own kids) if I were to go too far.

 

[unfoundiamond]

nail polish

I think your wife is cool as shit for the dinner party situation, I love to hear of accepting people period as I am one myself.
I saw my step father in full costumey drag (purple patent leather dress, pink stockings and big green pumps) and I wasn't shocked, I just looked at him at 9 years old and told him "If he was gonna dress like a sissy I would treat him like one, Now go clean my room"

I look back on it and wonder if my own duality lead me to accept such a shocking role reversal at such a young age, No fear, No shock.

I learned later his mother used to dress him as a girl and call him "jamie" insted of James, She would tell him she always wanted a girl. Sad.

I was raised by a very liberal mother. I was taught not to judge people. Not everyone will be so accepting, I know, but I plan to raise my children to accept people who look diffrently, and not judge a book by its cover.

Children now days are more accepting... I had a lot of people judge me- but I still have a lot of friends that love me still today and accepted me even tho I was a gender bender myself (to say the very least)

I have always said the one thing I want is for my parents to be happy, So maybe your children won't judge you too much... If you raised them to be accepting, catching you with a little polish... eh... maybe stick to black and blue (remember my biological father wearing those colors but he was goth)... lol... Don't assume the worst...

 

[bhg08054]

I wonder Shank, if my letting my hair grow down to my waist, as I have, fits in your idea of "gender bending"?

 

[Shankara20]

Right now I'm trying to figure out how much more I'm comfortable with in public. I like messing with people a bit but I'm worried about the backlash (not to mention my own kids) if I were to go too far.

I so understand - and have struggled with the same questions. Still no answer.

 

[Shankara20]

I wonder Shank, if my letting my hair grow down to my waist, as I have, fits in your idea of "gender bending"?

Does it fit "gender bending" for you - I suggest is more the question, BHG. It is not the norm for men to have hair as long as yours, but I have always seen a few longhairs around. It would fit my definition. How do you see it?

 

[Etoile]

This guy has long hair and I don't think he's gender bending:
http://the-light.com/mens/samson1.html

 

[bhg08054]

Does it fit "gender bending" for you - I suggest is more the question, BHG. It is not the norm for men to have hair as long as yours, but I have always seen a few longhairs around. It would fit my definition. How do you see it?

To be quite honest, I'm not sure. Until I found this thread, I hadn't really thought about it. Still thinking about it.

 

[unfoundiamond]

Depends....

Depends on how you wear your hair to determine if its gender bending. A man can have long hair that isn't feminine, just as a woman can have short hair and it not be masculine...

Long hair on a hot man is SO sexy... and I have to say short hair on a pretty girl is a huge turn on for me too... Don't let me start talking about hair... we could be here all day...

*Cosmetologist* (shh its a secret)

 

[graceanne]

Thank god I live in a city that is tolerant which is why I probably can't manage to move away from Seattle for any length of time. Most places here are tolerant of tats/piercings/fingernail polish and other gender bending fun.

I have to admit I'm always surprised to see how people fare in other citys. I'm sure it's occasionally a problem, but I see lots of cross dressers or gender benders, and I would never be rude enough to say anything about it. Besides, I think it's cool. At the welfare office the other day their was this chick, all gothed out, and her daughter's hair was buzzed, and she (the daughter) was dressed in princess pink with gothy black boots, and was preening like little girls do when they feel pretty. I thought it was pretty cool and complimented her on her boots.

 

[Homburg]

Depends on how you wear your hair to determine if its gender bending. A man can have long hair that isn't feminine, just as a woman can have short hair and it not be masculine...

Long hair on a hot man is SO sexy...

My buddy Ken has long, flowing blonde hair that is far prettier than that of the vast majority of long-haired women, and, yep, his hair gets him SO much attention. He also has serious ink, great body, etc, but the hair is what really attracts the women time and again. And there is absolutely nothing gender-bendy about his portrayal. He just has long hair.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

HUMBUG

What manner of depravity snake-oil are you peddling now?

 

[Homburg]

HUMBUG

What manner of depravity snake-oil are you peddling now?

Depravity Snake Oil? That sounds like an excellent brand name. Now I just need to think of a product to go with it.

If I do make something, I'll give you naming credit, JBJ.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

HUMBUG

I'll give you a license to sell my world famous Licentious Leper Love technique (the goal is to have an orgasm before all the essential body parts fall off). BEAT THE CLOCK was already used in the 50s.

 

[Etoile]

HUMBUG

What manner of depravity snake-oil are you peddling now?

Got bored elsewhere, then?

 

[EmpressFi]

My buddy Ken has long, flowing blonde hair that is far prettier than that of the vast majority of long-haired women, and, yep, his hair gets him SO much attention. He also has serious ink, great body, etc, but the hair is what really attracts the women time and again. And there is absolutely nothing gender-bendy about his portrayal. He just has long hair.

*raises hand* and where can I meet this Ken..... I keed I keed...

Malin's hair is about as long as mine (my hair is almost 3 feet long from head to tip)..beautiful and red.. wavy.. just gorgeous... but there's not a feminine bit to it... he exudes maleness.... and I'm not just saying that because I've been his wife for 8 years and his lover for 12... he just does

 

[Homburg]

*raises hand* and where can I meet this Ken..... I keed I keed...

Malin's hair is about as long as mine (my hair is almost 3 feet long from head to tip)..beautiful and red.. wavy.. just gorgeous... but there's not a feminine bit to it... he exudes maleness.... and I'm not just saying that because I've been his wife for 8 years and his lover for 12... he just does

Did I mention that Ken is the friend I talked about with more paperbacks in his house than he has room to store them? And he's a gamer, computer geek, and former stripper too. The guy is something else

 

[Etoile]

Did I mention that Ken is the friend I talked about with more paperbacks in his house than he has room to store them? And he's a gamer, computer geek, and former stripper too. The guy is something else

My long-lost twin!

 

[EmpressFi]

Did I mention that Ken is the friend I talked about with more paperbacks in his house than he has room to store them? And he's a gamer, computer geek, and former stripper too. The guy is something else

Now I'm lusting after him even more..can he come out with us for coffee ??

 

[Homburg]

My long-lost twin!

Here is the obligatory "You were a stripper?"

--

Now I'm lusting after him even more..can he come out with us for coffee ??

LOL, not likely. He is married, his wife is about a Dominant as she can be while still being vanilla, and she is also very pregnant. Ken is barely allowed to go to work each day.

 

[unfoundiamond]

I don't know of this is allowed...

I am still rather new to all this bulletin board stuff and I don't know if I am allowed to say what this thread made me realize without it being a thread jacking... but reading this board about gender bending and where the conversation has ended up on this Masculine Man. There is something sexy about bending gender, breaking the rules... and on the flipside of that coin is that, there is something about being sexy as your gender as well,

BEFORE you get mad or anything hear this out...

I used to be what you might call "butch" (really more baby butch) and now I am very ultra femme... totally 180 from my prior self... and people either "hate" me because I am femme now(which somehow makes me "less gay"...WTF?), or they tell me I look 100 times better, but I RESENT both answers...

I think people have Duality, they have two diffrent sides of themself, a feminine side, and a masculine side, and one is dominant over the other but we have some of both... so everyone can go either way, It just depends on the person. So that's why some people like me can look so very diffrent, but be true to ourselves and feel like outselves... I hate the implication that a person is imprisoned in this one label, this one tight unforgiving square they must try to fit their every feeling and thought into, People should have the freedom to explore, without having to be prisoner to any one part of themself, physical or emotional.

So I say yay for everyone, when you're gender bending, and when you aren't.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

UNFOUNDDIAMOND

I dont know if the affliction is common, but I know there are people without this 'duality' you speak of. I'm one of them. I cant imagine being female. The idea of it is what we call ego-dystonic. Humbug might take to it like a duck to water. I dont know.

Transsexuals swear by it.

It could explain why people becomes Mummers. I dont get Mummers, either.

 

[rida]

I am still rather new to all this bulletin board stuff and I don't know if I am allowed to say what this thread made me realize without it being a thread jacking... but reading this board about gender bending and where the conversation has ended up on this Masculine Man. There is something sexy about bending gender, breaking the rules... and on the flipside of that coin is that, there is something about being sexy as your gender as well,

BEFORE you get mad or anything hear this out...

I used to be what you might call "butch" (really more baby butch) and now I am very ultra femme... totally 180 from my prior self... and people either "hate" me because I am femme now(which somehow makes me "less gay"...WTF?), or they tell me I look 100 times better, but I RESENT both answers...

I think people have Duality, they have two diffrent sides of themself, a feminine side, and a masculine side, and one is dominant over the other but we have some of both... so everyone can go either way, It just depends on the person. So that's why some people like me can look so very diffrent, but be true to ourselves and feel like outselves... I hate the implication that a person is imprisoned in this one label, this one tight unforgiving square they must try to fit their every feeling and thought into, People should have the freedom to explore, without having to be prisoner to any one part of themself, physical or emotional.

So I say yay for everyone, when you're gender bending, and when you aren't.

may I just clap and agree with you?

whether we have duality or not (I personally do, but someone like JBJ might not), I think that the part in your post I bolded is spot on.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

RIDA

I suspect UNFOUNDDIAMOND is confusing duality with gas.

 

[EmpressFi]

LOL, not likely. He is married, his wife is about a Dominant as she can be while still being vanilla, and she is also very pregnant. Ken is barely allowed to go to work each day.

Dang it!!!!

Guess I'll have to settle for you /winks and flees