Emerson40
An evening spent dancing
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2012
- Posts
- 13,837
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first annual GB SEEKY AWARDS, where Litizens cast their votes, and decide who is this year’s winningest whiner, hilariously histrionic, and the biggest Attention Whore.
The A.D.H.D. T.W.A.T.S. (Academy for Depressed, Histrionic Drama-llamas & Tedious Whiners, Trolls, and Shit-lords) has narrowed the selection down to a select few nominees.
All that is needed now is your vote, your vote to crown the Premiere Attention Seeker in the GB, and award he / she / it the Stanley Cup of dunce caps, the ADHD TWATS Cup.
In no particular order of annoyance, your nominees are:
There you have it, your SEEKY AWARD nominees. Cast your votes, argue your case, and champion your favorite Attention Whore. You can only cast one vote (unless you create an alt account*cough*hashtag*cough*, in order to cast another vote), so make it count.
Was there a particular histrionic moment that made your vote a slam dunk? Did any of the nominee’s pisting give you a case of third-nerve palsy, until you applied the ignore function? Do any of these pisters remind you what it was like trying to reason with a toddler?
Voting closes in one week, and then Lit’s Premiere Attention Seeker will be announced.
The A.D.H.D. T.W.A.T.S. (Academy for Depressed, Histrionic Drama-llamas & Tedious Whiners, Trolls, and Shit-lords) has narrowed the selection down to a select few nominees.
All that is needed now is your vote, your vote to crown the Premiere Attention Seeker in the GB, and award he / she / it the Stanley Cup of dunce caps, the ADHD TWATS Cup.
In no particular order of annoyance, your nominees are:
Eeyore / eyerarmy / WalksOnWalter / inexile / etc - With more alts than Fata has had abortions, this original Prom Night dumpster baby bounces back better than sperm off a diaphragm.
Known for the classics ‘wannabe’ and ‘playgrovnder’, this tedious whiner has demonstrated consistently that when one door closes, another alt opens.
Armed with his own special brand of run-on sentence insults and made up words, this pister makes no secret of his desperate need for Laurel’s constant attention and ban-hammer affections, pushing things further with every new alt.
This gnostic, lemmingly, whiney victim player spends his spare time writing Get Well cards to fetuses, and obsessing about abortions, bruised tits, and pedometers.
BusyBody / Knot Again / Putz - This pister is the reason Lit created the feature to deactivate viewing signatures, and if you have him on ignore, why 3/4 of the first page vanishes, especially around a full moon or mornings when he has wet the bed.
A raving racist with a soft spot for yappy lap dogs, BusyBody willfully avoids logic, and uses a combination of silly spelling, bastardized sentences, and a rebus of gifs to promote intolerance and hatred.
He spends his spare time bumping his own threads, tending to the rash from having hashtag up in his taint, studying the Qur’an, and batting his eyelashes at oggbashan and Colonel Hogan.
Lancecaster - Lit’s own version of Tucker Max, with an internet degree in the tenets of Leykis 101, this provocative pister assures us he pulls more pussy than rockstars, has a penis bigger than his Harley, and knows a great deal about a lot of things. Just ask him, he'll tell you.
He manages all this while pisting dozens of times throughout the day, maintaining his smooth style of back-handed compliments and passive-aggressive remarks, and badgers butters so passionately, he makes that Emerson / Hashtag thing look like a shared seat on a Pentecostal Sunday School bus.
During his time away from Lit, Lance updates his backup drive of Lit Avatars and tit-pics, cleans his secondhand letterman jacket, and cruises the GardenWeb forums for cottage and canoe ideas.
hssh345 / hssh345alt / Aella - Where does one begin when trying to open this hot bag of snakes? In the short time this irrelevant, gender-fluid pister has been here, he has managed to ostracize himself from every relationship, conversation, and sympathetic pister here. He could certainly teach eeyore a thing or two about victim playing, and if his Sharpie skills ever get as good as he uses ‘English is my 2nd language’ to deflect and excuse his epic dum-dum pists, we could witness the emergence of the next Grayson Perry.
Is he a man or a woman, query or RobDownSouth, or is he just a racist with a flair for the dramatic, an affinity for permanent markers, and atrocious spelling?
In the few minutes a day when hssh345 is not playing Lit victim, hssh345 shadows BusyBody and gump, fatuously interjects wherever, whenever, and washes himself with a bucket and a rag on a stick in front of his computer, so as to not miss one hot minute of Lit.
LT / Loving Tongue / Le Jacquelope / LJ Reloaded - This pister is a man of pro-male / anti-feminazi convictions, and usually pists in SPAM-like bunches, often after logging out of his POF profile.
His signatures demonstrate he is a graduate of the BusyBody School of Signatures To Compensate For _______, and he is a member of a wee group of Listers who have survived their own, faked death. He rarely engages, unless provoked, is a master of editing quoted pists, and clearly, this honey badger has had his wood chucked by a honey beaver something terrible.
When not angrily pisting, LT enjoys opening doors ahead of women so he can let them close in their faces, and chairing support group meetings for men who have been emotionally raped by feminism.
Blurt Gals / Blurt Bitches - These women pist in the Blurt threads and other threads, are prone to independent thought, and have on occasion formed and expressed their own opinion on things. They need very little ‘mansplained’ to them, and often give as well as they receive. Usually the first to sympathize and the last to criticize, most are well-read, and their true beauty is found in their words, humor, and ability to see ‘big picture’.
When not on Lit, these bitches have careers, raise families, dream, fap, make tough decisions, struggle, eat cheese, and have a fine appreciation of the nuances of lighting and exposure, when posting tit pics.
Que / query / Conager / blue alien guy / more? - A prolific pister who tends to get along with most, but for some reason feels pisting with one User ID is not enough. Where most would require a spread sheet and story-boarding, query plugs along with his multiple ‘characters’, occasionally pisting under multiple users in the same thread. Suspected of being behind the Schmoopsie103 and hashtag characters, the recent reveal of the Conager alt has some finding his pists denouncing RobDownSouth’s alleged use of alts to battle his alts sadly ironic.
Known for the classics ‘wannabe’ and ‘playgrovnder’, this tedious whiner has demonstrated consistently that when one door closes, another alt opens.
Armed with his own special brand of run-on sentence insults and made up words, this pister makes no secret of his desperate need for Laurel’s constant attention and ban-hammer affections, pushing things further with every new alt.
This gnostic, lemmingly, whiney victim player spends his spare time writing Get Well cards to fetuses, and obsessing about abortions, bruised tits, and pedometers.
BusyBody / Knot Again / Putz - This pister is the reason Lit created the feature to deactivate viewing signatures, and if you have him on ignore, why 3/4 of the first page vanishes, especially around a full moon or mornings when he has wet the bed.
A raving racist with a soft spot for yappy lap dogs, BusyBody willfully avoids logic, and uses a combination of silly spelling, bastardized sentences, and a rebus of gifs to promote intolerance and hatred.
He spends his spare time bumping his own threads, tending to the rash from having hashtag up in his taint, studying the Qur’an, and batting his eyelashes at oggbashan and Colonel Hogan.
Lancecaster - Lit’s own version of Tucker Max, with an internet degree in the tenets of Leykis 101, this provocative pister assures us he pulls more pussy than rockstars, has a penis bigger than his Harley, and knows a great deal about a lot of things. Just ask him, he'll tell you.
He manages all this while pisting dozens of times throughout the day, maintaining his smooth style of back-handed compliments and passive-aggressive remarks, and badgers butters so passionately, he makes that Emerson / Hashtag thing look like a shared seat on a Pentecostal Sunday School bus.
During his time away from Lit, Lance updates his backup drive of Lit Avatars and tit-pics, cleans his secondhand letterman jacket, and cruises the GardenWeb forums for cottage and canoe ideas.
hssh345 / hssh345alt / Aella - Where does one begin when trying to open this hot bag of snakes? In the short time this irrelevant, gender-fluid pister has been here, he has managed to ostracize himself from every relationship, conversation, and sympathetic pister here. He could certainly teach eeyore a thing or two about victim playing, and if his Sharpie skills ever get as good as he uses ‘English is my 2nd language’ to deflect and excuse his epic dum-dum pists, we could witness the emergence of the next Grayson Perry.
Is he a man or a woman, query or RobDownSouth, or is he just a racist with a flair for the dramatic, an affinity for permanent markers, and atrocious spelling?
In the few minutes a day when hssh345 is not playing Lit victim, hssh345 shadows BusyBody and gump, fatuously interjects wherever, whenever, and washes himself with a bucket and a rag on a stick in front of his computer, so as to not miss one hot minute of Lit.
LT / Loving Tongue / Le Jacquelope / LJ Reloaded - This pister is a man of pro-male / anti-feminazi convictions, and usually pists in SPAM-like bunches, often after logging out of his POF profile.
His signatures demonstrate he is a graduate of the BusyBody School of Signatures To Compensate For _______, and he is a member of a wee group of Listers who have survived their own, faked death. He rarely engages, unless provoked, is a master of editing quoted pists, and clearly, this honey badger has had his wood chucked by a honey beaver something terrible.
When not angrily pisting, LT enjoys opening doors ahead of women so he can let them close in their faces, and chairing support group meetings for men who have been emotionally raped by feminism.
Blurt Gals / Blurt Bitches - These women pist in the Blurt threads and other threads, are prone to independent thought, and have on occasion formed and expressed their own opinion on things. They need very little ‘mansplained’ to them, and often give as well as they receive. Usually the first to sympathize and the last to criticize, most are well-read, and their true beauty is found in their words, humor, and ability to see ‘big picture’.
When not on Lit, these bitches have careers, raise families, dream, fap, make tough decisions, struggle, eat cheese, and have a fine appreciation of the nuances of lighting and exposure, when posting tit pics.
Que / query / Conager / blue alien guy / more? - A prolific pister who tends to get along with most, but for some reason feels pisting with one User ID is not enough. Where most would require a spread sheet and story-boarding, query plugs along with his multiple ‘characters’, occasionally pisting under multiple users in the same thread. Suspected of being behind the Schmoopsie103 and hashtag characters, the recent reveal of the Conager alt has some finding his pists denouncing RobDownSouth’s alleged use of alts to battle his alts sadly ironic.
There you have it, your SEEKY AWARD nominees. Cast your votes, argue your case, and champion your favorite Attention Whore. You can only cast one vote (unless you create an alt account*cough*hashtag*cough*, in order to cast another vote), so make it count.
Was there a particular histrionic moment that made your vote a slam dunk? Did any of the nominee’s pisting give you a case of third-nerve palsy, until you applied the ignore function? Do any of these pisters remind you what it was like trying to reason with a toddler?
Voting closes in one week, and then Lit’s Premiere Attention Seeker will be announced.
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