Wildcard Ky
Southern culture liason
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2004
- Posts
- 3,145
Got this one in e-mail today and had to pass it on to you good people.
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men & women
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do." FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words
that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just
love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to
sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend
time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier".
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I
don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled "WHAT"???!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff
for awhile.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a
man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me
I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the
things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men & women
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do." FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words
that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just
love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to
sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend
time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier".
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I
don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled "WHAT"???!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff
for awhile.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a
man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me
I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the
things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
