Funniest Negative Comments?

[AchtungNight]

Interesting. A psychiatrist that thinks there’s no one, not a single person out there, who’d like to read an anal incest story.

The heroic psychologist in my ficverse would remind that poser that just because you’re an expert on the mind does not give you the right to attempt to control other people’s minds. Then she’d roll her eyes and politely tell other people she’s not into anal sex of any kind. The wrong guy pushed it on her once. She dumped him. But have your fun, she just won’t participate, thx.

 

[Devinter]

Interesting. A psychiatrist that thinks there’s no one, not a single person out there, who’d like to read an anal incest story.

The heroic psychologist in my ficverse would remind that poser that just because you’re an expert on the mind does not give you the right to attempt to control other people’s minds.

I would be shocked if there was even a 1% chance that lunatic is a psychiatrist.

And there's a subtle irony in his delusional rants because I actually work in the mental health field myself. (Psychologist, not psychiatrist, but still..)

 

[AchtungNight]

I like her! She can comment on my stories all she wants (a couple of them are probably crying out for psychoanalysis)…

Sadly she’s a fictional character. But you can see her in action in a few of my stories here- Ruleskirter and Fire Woman are two of the onscreen appearances. She’s a redhead bisexual biker with martial arts skills that rival the Boss and control kinks to match. You’re either attracted to her, afraid of her, or both. She’s motivated to help people with psychotherapy from a psycho. All of her clients appreciate her and her enemies quake in fear. God help the idiot who disses her for being a Mary Sue.

 

[Nudeblackgirl]

You should exlude negative comments from Loving Wives. That's a whoooooole 'nother world

 

[StillStunned]

I don't know if this will come across. Maybe you have to be there reading the story. But it opens with a lot of sort of tongue in cheek uses of the word "perfect."


Then, 4 Lit pages later it closes with a sort of tender observation about having soup and cheese sandwiches and reading in bed.

The feedback was:

To add to the humor, this is the only negative comment this story has ever gotten for the writing. It's gotten other negative comments, for sure, but never for the writing.

Unfortunately, when writers try to be subtle, particularly as a gentle form of sarcasm, a portion of the readers will miss the point completely.

On the plus side, your reader was at least paying close enough attention to your story to notice the repetions in the first place.

 

[Nudeblackgirl]

So long as they’re funny, they’re welcome!

Sorry, I didn't mean LW comments shouldn't be allowed, I was just thinking they can be so over the top that they're kind of a category of their own.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Well.. I took a screenshot of this one just to clearly demonstrate how much "space" he needed. He's sure making a lot of incorrect assumptions. (For clarification, it's a mom/son incest story and there's no vaginal penetration, only butt stuff. That's why he's so angry.)

Christ on a bike, is that guy serious? A shrink wrapped marshmallow, I never knew you could get those! What a knob!

 

[MrCurrie]

This is one of Jack's replies to a religious parody story I posted. After the second similar response, I didn't hear from him again. He might have incurred a stroke.

by Jackspeed2u  on 07/25/2020

Average then FUCKING CRAP. Yeah so just real shit.

So out of nowhere we get Roman Catholic, you know the proven in a court of law child rapists but they got a free pass, shit. No way would those two cunts do the whole incest thing if the were so devout as they seem by their conversation. They would have had rosary beads out and begging a God from a religion that’s full of invest to cure them of their incestual thoughts. Then driving at a million miles an hour to a church for confession.

The worst thing out of your story, even worse than that false religious baby murdering and God level directed genocide crap IS YOU DEPICTED AND CONDONED KNOWINGLY DRINKING ALCOHOL WHILE PREGNANT. Now that’s the true crime, as the bible is only a statement of untrue crimes that went on and inspired 2 millennia of true crimes in the real world.

So fuck you and fuck your bipolar story.

 

[StillStunned]

Well.. I took a screenshot of this one just to clearly demonstrate how much "space" he needed. He's sure making a lot of incorrect assumptions. (For clarification, it's a mom/son incest story and there's no vaginal penetration, only butt stuff. That's why he's so angry.)

You really struck a nerve with this one! Funny how he's glad he didn't spend time reading your story, but must have spent a disproportionate amount of time writing the comment.

Anonybush? I think so!

Anonybutt, I think. Or Anonymum (Anonymom for you USians).

 

[StillStunned]

This is one of Jack's replies to a religious parody story I posted. After the second similar response, I didn't hear from him again. He might have incurred a stroke.

Perhaps Jack should talk to Devinter's anonymous psychiatrist above.

 

[djrip]

You really struck a nerve with this one! Funny how he's glad he didn't spend time reading your story, but must have spent a disproportionate amount of time writing the comment.


Anonybutt, I think. Or Anonymum (Anonymom for you USians).

His concern about the shaved pussy on the mom with particular age specified and confident assertion that that does not happen, plus overall style, has me convinced it's the same guy

 

[onehitwanda]

Perhaps Jack should talk to Devinter's anonymous psychiatrist above.

This feels like a meta story.

New patient walks into the shrink's office. After the usual pleasantries, discussions of terms etc, she goes - "so... where do we begin?"
Patient: "someone was wrong on the internet!"
Shrink: "Oh? really?"
Patient: "YEAH! On this story site, someone posted something, and it was wrong, so I had to correct them, but I'm angry..."
Shrink: "What was the story about?"
Patient: "Mom/son nonvaginal incest."
Shrink: *scribbles furiously* "OK... and what's the name of the site? For context, obviously..."
Patient: "-----"
Shrink: "Oh fuck."
Patient: "What?"
Shrink: "I wrote that."

yakkity sax music intensifies

 

[StillStunned]

Is procrastination infectious? I'm starting to think we're facing another global pandemic.

 

[onehitwanda]

Is procrastination infectious? I'm starting to think we're facing another global pandemic.

I've been shitposting here all day instead of working.

 

[StillStunned]

I've been shitposting here all day instead of working.

Tell me about it. I think I'm running out of my daily allowance of Haha emojis.

(Also, because why not: wombat shitposting!)

 

[samhasstories]

Same. I need you all to stop being so entertaining so I can get some work done.

 

[AG31]

On the plus side, your reader was at least paying close enough attention to your story to notice the repetions in the first place.

Yup. I'd rather get this comment than no comment.

 

[Zootonius]

This feels like a meta story.

New patient walks into the shrink's office. After the usual pleasantries, discussions of terms etc, she goes - "so... where do we begin?"
Patient: "someone was wrong on the internet!"
Shrink: "Oh? really?"
Patient: "YEAH! On this story site, someone posted something, and it was wrong, so I had to correct them, but I'm angry..."
Shrink: "What was the story about?"
Patient: "Mom/son nonvaginal incest."
Shrink: *scribbles furiously* "OK... and what's the name of the site? For context, obviously..."
Patient: "-----"
Shrink: "Oh fuck."
Patient: "What?"
Shrink: "I wrote that."

yakkity sax music intensifies

https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/duty_calls.png

 

[Devinter]

Interesting. A psychiatrist that thinks there’s no one, not a single person out there, who’d like to read an anal incest story.

Got this creepy comment on the exact same story less than 24 hours later, from Anonymous:

" Too long and too much false drama. I was attracted to your story after reading the disclaimer because I love my son fucking my ass. It satisfies both of us greatly. I am his anal whore and he loves the tightness of my ass. My son was 19 when he started fucking me, largely due to my seduction and encouragement of him doing it. We agreed I wasn't being unfaithful to his father if he did not fuck my pussy. My son moved away a few years ago, but we always look forward to his holiday visits when we can find privacy. Life is good! "

... At least that proves to the other crazy guy that he was wrong, I guess?

 

[StillStunned]

... At least that proves to the other crazy guy that he was wrong, I guess?

Is anyone keeping track of how many personality Anonymous has?

 

[Trionyx]

From my new story
I Wanna Mommy fo’ Chwismus

“Was enjoying the story but lost interest when Cam explained his wifes passing "over a glass of wine". That's just wrong! This is a Christmas story! It should've been either hot chocolate eggnog or warm apple cider. What's the deal with ALL writers having their characters drink some form of alcohol ALL OF THE TIME?! I'm almost 60 and I don't drink OR smoke. Disgusting habits. 2*”

I find it amusing when Anony doesn’t like a character in a fictional story or what the character does and down votes the entire story. Plus here Anony criticizes which drink first and then drinking altogether. I guess I’ll have to remove all references to alcohol in the future.

 

[StillStunned]

From my new story
I Wanna Mommy fo’ Chwismus

“Was enjoying the story but lost interest when Cam explained his wifes passing "over a glass of wine". That's just wrong! This is a Christmas story! It should've been either hot chocolate eggnog or warm apple cider. What's the deal with ALL writers having their characters drink some form of alcohol ALL OF THE TIME?! I'm almost 60 and I don't drink OR smoke. Disgusting habits. 2*”

I find it amusing when Anony doesn’t like a character in a fictional story or what the character does and down votes the entire story. Plus here Anony criticizes which drink first and then drinking altogether. I guess I’ll have to remove all references to alcohol in the future.

Yeah, we only want *sober* people banging their mothers!

And isn't there alcohol in eggnog and cider?

 

[theWollstonecraftWoman]

Why engage in fruitless endeavors?

Is anyone keeping track of how many personality Anonymous has?

 

[StillStunned]

Why engage in fruitless endeavors?

It's the modern version of counting the Names of God.

 

[SimonDoom]

Funny in the sense of perplexing:

I got this comment from a reader to one of my stories earlier today:

Very boring, it was all waste of time

Then an hour later I got this comment from the same reader to another story:

Worst story I have ever read

Why would someone read to completion a story that one thought was boring and a waste of time? And if one did, why would one read ANOTHER story by the same author that bored one so much the first time?