fucking shut up Oakley...

[freakygirl]

This is Literotica not Good Morning America

Would you flirt.. or cyber.. something other than posting the stupid news threads.

when you do that, it pushes all the good threads down. I'm tired of having to go look for them.


Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzz





I'm still cranky..sorry everyone.. but this is really annoying.

 

[LukkyKnight]

LOL!

freak, ya gotta think about the titles more. I'd suggest these alternatives:

fucking flirt, oakley

fuck, oakley

After all, shutting up won't get him to interact in the ways you mentioned.

 

[freakygirl]

Re: LOL!

freak, ya gotta think about the titles more. I'd suggest these alternatives:

fucking flirt, oakley

fuck, oakley

After all, shutting up won't get him to interact in the ways you mentioned.

Shit.. good point.

I'm blonde.. (that explains it all.. doesn't it? )

 

[Phoenyx]

BACKS OUT SLOWLYS

though this was a conversation about the chicago bulls Basket ball player

 

[PowerOfOne]

Here you go, freakygurl32.

 

[freakygirl]

Here you go, freakygurl32.

OMG.. is it that obvious??

or is everyone keeping track of my cycle?

 

[PowerOfOne]

~laughing~ I can't even keep track of my own. I seem to have missed a period in one of the earlier threads tonight...

 

[freakygirl]

~laughing~ I can't even keep track of my own. I seem to have missed a period in one of the earlier threads tonight...

No.. it's not missing. I found it. Want it back?

 

[PowerOfOne]

LMAO! Yes, please! I was wondering what happened to it!

 

[LukkyKnight]

missing periods

Q. Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than briefs?
A. Yes, but you'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear anything at all.

Q. What do you call a pregnancy that begins while using birth control?
A. A misconception.

Q. Can a woman get pregnant from a toilet seat?
A. Yes, but the baby would be awfully funny looking.

Q. What is the easiest way to figure out exactly when I got pregnant?
A. Have sex once a year.

Q. What is a chastity belt?
A. A laborsaving device.

Q. When does a woman's biological clock start ticking?
A. Right after she looks in the mirror and thinks, "Oh my God, crow's feet!"

Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q. I normally wear a size 34-C bra. Now that I'm pregnant, should I continue to wear a bra?
A. Not if you don't mind switching in the future to a size 34-Long.

Q. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A. Childbirth.

Q. My blood type is O-positive and my husband's is A-negative. What if my baby is born, say, type AB-positive?
A. Then the jig is up.

Q. Should I have a baby after 35?
A. No, 35 children is enough.

Q. My husband and I are very attractive. I'm sure our baby will be beautiful enough for commercials. Whom should I contact about this?
A. Your therapist.

Q. I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A. With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A. If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q. My brother tells me that since my husband has a big nose, and genes for big noses are dominant, my baby will have a big nose as well. Is this true?
A. The odds are greater that your brother will have a fat lip.

Q. Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
A. Yes, your bladder.

Q. Ever since I've been pregnant, I haven't been able to go to bed at night without onion rings. Is this a normal craving?
A. Depends on what your doing with them.

Q. When is the best time to get an epidural?
A. Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q. I'm modest. Once I'm in the hospital to deliver, which will see me in that delicate position?
A. Authorized personnel only-doctors, nurses, orderlies, photographers, florists, cleaning crews, journalists, etc.

Q. What does it mean when the baby's head is crowning?
A. It means you feel as though not only a crown but the entire throne is trying to make it's way out of you.

Q. Does anyone in this country still give birth in the fields?
A. Not on purpose.

Q. Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A. Yes, pregnancy.

Q. Does labor cause hemorrhoids?
A. Labor causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q. Under what circumstances should a baby not be circumcised?
A. When it's a girl, for starters.

Q. Where is the best place to store breast milk?
A. In your breasts.

Q. Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
A. Yes, baby lips.

Q. What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
A. It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.

Q. How does one sanitize nipples?
A. Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan.

Q. What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
A. When you see teeth marks.

Q. What is the grasp reflex?
A. The reaction of a new father when he sees new mother's breasts.

Q. Can a mother get pregnant while nursing?
A. Yes, but it's much easier if she puts the baby in the crib first.

Q. What happens to disposable diapers after they're thrown away?
A. They are stored in a silo in the Midwest, in the event of global chemical warfare.

Q. Do I have to have a baby shower?
A. Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q. What causes baby blues?
A. Tanned, hard-bodied bimbos.

Q. Nannies aren't cheap are they?
A. Not usually, but occasionally you'll find a floozy.

 

[PowerOfOne]

~laughing hysterically at LukkyKnight's post regarding pregnancy~ And I agree with every one!! Thanks for the laughter!