Frustrated!

[triple_g]

Hola, everyone. As u can see i'm a nubee. I've lurked about and finally post.

I have a large folder of incredibly sexy pics of my wife but I can't post them. I'm not saying that to tease you... I'm frustrated too. She simply won't agree to it and I can't bring myself to post her (even with face hidden) without her approval. I've come close, finger hovering over the "post" button, but I just can't. But all those incredible shots and nobody to share them with! Argh!

I'd love to have you see her (and us together) and comment...
... what you think of her
... what you'd do to her in graphic detail

<sigh> I guess this is just a bitch session for me. Sorry about that. I suppose if anyone has a similar situation it might help to not feel alone in my predicament!

 

[Guest]

 

[triple_g]

Thanks Scaly, you're right. I am grateful. We role-play and have a terrific time together. I do appreciate her. And I'll continue to honor her wishes. (Doesn't mean I can't continue to fantasize!)

Has your wife given you a reason for not taking the pics? Mine sees them and zeroes in on her perceived flaws. I've told her I wish for just a minute she could see herself through my eyes. I think she'd be shocked.

Now that's a story in the making. Fucking your spouse and finding yourself ...um.. fucking yourself? Ok, maybe not. <grin>

 

[French Martini]

I'd also suggest not posting those pictures. That would be a huge betrayal and could land you in a world of trouble with the Mrs. I'm in the same boat as Scaly... hubby won't remove so much as a t-shirt if the camera is in the same room!!<sigh>

 

[triple_g]

I'd also suggest not posting those pictures. That would be a huge betrayal and could land you in a world of trouble with the Mrs. I'm in the same boat as Scaly... hubby won't remove so much as a t-shirt if the camera is in the same room!!<sigh>

I hope I didn't suggest otherwise. I can about "taste" the nasty comments but won't betray her trust. By the way, a french martini is ..?

 

[Eilan]

A couple of questions:

Why is it so important that you share these pics with others? (Or want to, anyway.)

Why is other people's opinion of your wife important to you?

You're definitely doing the right thing by not posting the pics. The way I see it, your frustration level's nothing compared to how she'd feel if you posted the pics without her knowdedge/permission.

 

[triple_g]

Oh heck Eilan, why does anything turn people on? Whatever trick in my pschological makeup makes it enormously (pun intented) arousing. It isn't so much seeking opinions of her but having her lusted after. Some folks get off getting pee'd on. I don't get it, but hey, whatever works for them... this is something that works for me.

What about you? Would you like your hubby to show you off a bit? Or if me asking that makes you uncomfy, perhaps there's something that gets you worked up but leaves your hubby ...um... puzzled?

p.s. I've finally worked up the courage for the alternative, though. I wrote a few stories and I'm submitting them. Anyway, thanks for responding.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Thanks Scaly, you're right. I am grateful. We role-play and have a terrific time together. I do appreciate her. And I'll continue to honor her wishes. (Doesn't mean I can't continue to fantasize!)

Has your wife given you a reason for not taking the pics? Mine sees them and zeroes in on her perceived flaws. I've told her I wish for just a minute she could see herself through my eyes. I think she'd be shocked.

Now that's a story in the making. Fucking your spouse and finding yourself ...um.. fucking yourself? Ok, maybe not. <grin>

I'll echo what everyone has said. You're doing the right thing by respecting this wonderful woman's wishes.

Maybe you can ease your frustrations by writing out your fantasy as a story for Lit?

In the meantime, next time you find yourself wishing your wife could see herself through your eyes, describe to her what you're seeing - her shining eyes, her flushed skin, her hair spread out on the pillow, the way your bodies fit together, the pinks and peaches and reds, the sight of her taking you in... It's easier for her understand what you mean if you're more specific.

Sharing the pictures with her as you're describing what you like about each one, and how you felt at the time, and how hot she is and how hot she makes you feel when you're playing porn star and cameraman, is a LOT more fun than sharing them with random strangers on the internet.

 

[Eilan]

I wasn't necessarily judging you, though I might have gotten snippy if you'd said that you'd put up the pics without her permission. I was just wondering if your opinion of your wife was affected by how others saw her.

Some folks get off getting pee'd on.

Something like watersports is generally a consensual activity, unlike disrespecting your wife's wishes by posting her pics. (Yeah, I know you didn't post them.)

What about you? Would you like your hubby to show you off a bit? Or if me asking that makes you uncomfy, perhaps there's something that gets you worked up but leaves your hubby ...um... puzzled?

We've taken pics, but they're for us, though I've used self-avs on occasion. My husband doesn't need anyone to validate my hotness for him.

And as for whether or not there's something that turns me on that he doesn't "get," if there is, he's not shared it with me. Maybe he'll chime in on this thread.

 

[SweetErika]

Be thankful she lets you take them. It took a long time for me to be comfortable with my hubby getting near me with camera in hand. It was the flaws issue and I was afraid they would somehow get out even though I completely trusted him. So when I finally did allow him to take them, he had to give me the camera so I could delete at-will.

How about this...have her take pics of you and post them. She might enjoy the positive feedback you get, and may even see posting hers as a way of boosting her self-esteem. I'm not saying you should con her into anything, but you both might have fun posting your pics, and it could be helpful for her.

 

[~Sweets~]

I like the idea of you writing the stories. I know I have a lot of insecurities about my physical appearance I'd rather be tarred and feathered then have a photo taken period - posting them would mean war with my SO.

My SO has poked around Lit and the picture board. He mentioned the idea of other men looking at pictures and lusting over the women, like you he likes the idea of others lusting at me (I laugh at him, very loudly, at anyone lusting over me).

I understand your frustration and wonder if you can use that frustration to good use, like the stories - that's a great idea. Also LadyJeanne's idea of telling her what you are seeing when you look at the photos, I know that would make me feel better (not enough to have pictures taken though).

Insecurities really stink.

 

[LadyJeanne]

I like the idea of you writing the stories. I know I have a lot of insecurities about my physical appearance I'd rather be tarred and feathered then have a photo taken period - posting them would mean war with my SO.

My SO has poked around Lit and the picture board. He mentioned the idea of other men looking at pictures and lusting over the women, like you he likes the idea of others lusting at me (I laugh at him, very loudly, at anyone lusting over me).

I understand your frustration and wonder if you can use that frustration to good use, like the stories - that's a great idea. Also LadyJeanne's idea of telling her what you are seeing when you look at the photos, I know that would make me feel better (not enough to have pictures taken though).

Insecurities really stink.

I kinda felt that way about my SO taking pictures - I was worried about the flaws, too, but that's really not what he sees at all. I really couldn't think of any reason to say no other than my insecurities, and I loved that the idea really turned him on. Plus, he had brought a hand mirror to bed recently, and positioned it so I could see what he sees when we're fucking. It totally rocked my world to see us like that, so I was curious to get a better look, so to speak.

We started out by him handing ME the camera so I could take pictures of him. Then he started out slowly, just pictures of me holding his penis and stroking him, and eventually got to the rest. It was a lot of fun, and very erotic. What was really interesting was when he spent some time cropping the pictures - then you really see what he's focusing on and what turns him on.

If you're at all interested in exploring, go for it! If you don't like the pictures, the delete button is right there.

 

[wicked woman]

A moot point since you're not posting them...but just a reminder, it's against Lit policy to post pics without the person's consent.

 

[intruder52]

I feel your pain, I am in the same situation. At least she lets me pose her and take pictures. Someday I hope she agrees to let me post her, in the meantime they are great for masterbation.

 

[Eilan]

I'm not saying that to tease you... I'm frustrated too.

I feel your pain, I am in the same situation.

How or why, exactly, is this situation "painful"? Is it life-or-relationship-altering? Seriously. Maybe I'm an ignorant prude or something (nah, I doubt it), but I'm just not getting it.

Anyone can answer.

 

[LadyJeanne]

How or why, exactly, is this situation "painful"? Is it life-or-relationship-altering? Seriously. Maybe I'm an ignorant prude or something (nah, I doubt it), but I'm just not getting it.

Anyone can answer.

I'm wondering about this too. The fun part is taking the pictures and looking at them together, and having them for later instead of fake porn or looking at other people's pictures. There's nothing painful about keeping your sex life private and refraining from posting it all over the internet for strangers to comment on.

That it's 'painful' implies a need for bragging and/or validation - yeah, you're the man.

Seems a little childish to whine about it when you've got a perfectly wonderful, sexy woman at home.

 

[lizaveta]

Oh, I don't know. Sounds like a variation on the theme of men wanting to watch other men fuck their wives.

I think you've already got the idea on the "not posting her pics" thing; I, personally, don't allow ANYONE to take my picture, EVER. Camera phones make me especially phobic. I don't know why. So I understand perfectly her reluctance to have her pictures posted anyway, and I'm glad you're going to respect her wishes.

 

[triple_g]

I feel your pain, I am in the same situation. At least she lets me pose her and take pictures. Someday I hope she agrees to let me post her, in the meantime they are great for masterbation.

Thanks Intruder. Nice to have someone identify with me among all the folks "tsk-tsk'ing". What I've learned from everyone, though, is how giving she is to let me take the pics... it's easy for us guys to forget how insecure women can be about their bodies. It's not their fault. From birth they're told if they don't look like a Sport Illustrated model then... it's too bad, isnt it?

 

[triple_g]

Another thing I've learned is that if some people don't share your "brand" of sexuality they'll sneer at you. I don't get a lot of what turns people on, but getting all high 'n mighty about it doesn't seem keeping with the spirit of Lit.

'suppose it's someting the veteran posters get used to...

 

[LadyJeanne]

Thanks Intruder. Nice to have someone identify with me among all the folks "tsk-tsk'ing". What I've learned from everyone, though, is how giving she is to let me take the pics... it's easy for us guys to forget how insecure women can be about their bodies. It's not their fault. From birth they're told if they don't look like a Sport Illustrated model then... it's too bad, isnt it?

You learned that here? You really hadn't been thinking that about her already?

It's not just the insecurities. It's about privacy as well. Some people prefer to keep their sex lives private. That's very important, too.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Another thing I've learned is that if some people don't share your "brand" of sexuality they'll sneer at you. I don't get a lot of what turns people on, but getting all high 'n mighty about it doesn't seem keeping with the spirit of Lit.

'suppose it's someting the veteran posters get used to...

The only thing going on here is people voicing their opinions, much as you did when you startedt this thread. In a public forum, you have to expect to get a wide spectrum of opinions and you won't agree with all of them, or expect all of them to agree with you.

And some of us are going to question why this is so frustrating for you and why it turns you on and suggest looking at it from a different perspective, because if you think about why maybe you can figure out how to deal with it another way, and maybe you won't be so frustrated.

But I guess you didn't want help with that. You just wanted people to commiserate with you.

 

[wicked woman]

Another thing I've learned is that if some people don't share your "brand" of sexuality they'll sneer at you. I don't get a lot of what turns people on, but getting all high 'n mighty about it doesn't seem keeping with the spirit of Lit.

'suppose it's someting the veteran posters get used to...

triple_g actually for the most part, Litsters are very open minded about various 'brands' of sexuality...whether they personally enjoy/agree with them or not.

What you'll find though is that just because we're on Lit that we haven't thrown away our belief that people should be respected, acts should be consensual, relationships to be good require trust and communication...oh and as Lady Jeanne said...it's a public forum...we're 'allowed' to state our opinion, whether it agrees with the poster or not. Would be kind of boring if we didn't.

 

[Guest]

 

[Eilan]

Another thing I've learned is that if some people don't share your "brand" of sexuality they'll sneer at you. I don't get a lot of what turns people on, but getting all high 'n mighty about it doesn't seem keeping with the spirit of Lit.

What, exactly, is the "spirit of Lit"? A no-holds-barred fuckfest without respect for other people's feelings/wishes? Because if that's what you mean, then, no, the HT Board and Cafe DON'T embody those traits. If you stick around this place, you'll find that here on HT, we're a pretty tolerant group, for the most part. We don't, however, tolerate a lack of respect for one's partner, in whatever form that may take.

As for being sneered at because of one's "brand" of sexuality, if you call this sneering, then you haven't participated in many online discussion boards, nor have you ventured over to the General Board. Yeah, I have been attacked, often for trying to give people helpful input/advice. Responding seriously and thoughtfully to topics like swinging/threesomes/open relationships, BDSM, and watersports, for example, can sometimes get well-meaning Litsters in trouble.

So what you're saying is that posting pics of your wife without her permission turns you on? That's what most of us have been addressing. The only thing that people are getting all "high and mighty" about is that fact that you've seriously considered (to the point of getting ready to hit "send") disrespecting your wife's wishes and posting her pics here without her consent.

In your response to me, you brought up watersports, and I'm gonna repeat this point, because you obviously didn't get it the first time. There's a HUGE difference between posting pics without permission and engaging in a consensual activity. The key word there is CONSENSUAL. We don't give a rat's ass if you post your wife's pics, AS LONG AS you have HER permission to do so.

Posting the pics wasn't the issue; your frustration, however, was. What's particularly off-putting about your posts is the fact that you're whining about how your wife won't let you put the pics online. Isn't there a saying about gift horses and mouths that applies here?

The bottom line is, you were seeking validation, and not advice, and you couldn't handle it when some of us didn't say exactly what you wanted to hear. There are other boards at Lit that might provide you with the validation you seek, but you won't necessarily find that here.

Feel free to post your wife's pics without her permission, even though it's a violation of Lit rules. If you do that, you'd better enjoy the pics you already have, because if she finds out what you've done, those will likely be the only pics you have. And that's assuming she doesn't destroy the ones in existence.

 

[silverwhisper]

people, discussion forums have the ignore feature for a reason.

ed