From my e-mail today

[A Desert Rose]

Some nice thoughts for the day...

I've learned....
That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned....
That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned....
That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned....
That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned...
That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned....
That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

I've learned.....
That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned....
That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned....
That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned....
That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I've learned.....
That there's nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.

I've learned....
That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I've learned....
That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned....
That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I've learned....
That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned....
That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've learned....
That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned....
That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

I've learned....
That when your newly born child holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

I've learned....
That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness
and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I've learned .....
That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is
requested and when it is a life threatening situation.

I've learned....
That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Shit!

MissT, please move to the cafe... I mistakenly posted here and meant to post there.

Thanks.

 

[ethereal~minx]

 

[MissTaken]

I've learned,

the bigger they are the harder they do fall!

I've learned

that friendship comes in many shapes, sizes and can be found in the oddest of places.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Someone sent me this today. It took a while to load but it's funny. Enjoy...

shower time for me.... bye.

http://www.stud.ntnu.no/home/alexann/

 

[catalina_francisco]

LOL....now that brought a smile to my dial. Thanks.

Catalina

 

[Cleopatra]

*whew*

I thought this was about your PMs today.

 

[A Desert Rose]

*whew*

I thought this was about your PMs today.

LMAO

You are a true dolly!

 

[Peter2002]

Yikes

Someone sent me this today. It took a while to load but it's funny. Enjoy...

shower time for me.... bye.

http://www.stud.ntnu.no/home/alexann/

Bears a startling resemblence to my dance style.

 

[BrightFlower]

Someone sent me this today. It took a while to load but it's funny. Enjoy...

shower time for me.... bye.

http://www.stud.ntnu.no/home/alexann/

In the middle of a tough Friday, that made me laugh out loud...
Thank you!

 

[A Desert Rose]

Especially for you, Des....

I hope you have not seen this before but if you have, have another laugh....

Latin Phrases for all occasions


Impress your friends and relatives, talk to them in Latin. Remember:
"quidquid latine dictum sit altum viditur" (anything said in Latin sounds profound).
Note: these quotes have been collected from a variety of sources, all apparently in the public domain, on the internet.

Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum.
A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants.

Imus ad magum Ozi videndum, magum Ozi mirum mirissimum.
We are going to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz.

Noster populus facit discrepantiam.
Our people make the difference.

Solum potestis prohibere ignes silvarum.
Only you are can prevent forest fires.

Fac ut gaudeam.
Make my day.

Sola lingua bona est lingua mortua.
The only good language is a dead language.

Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit.
To boldly go where no man has gone before.

Postatem obscuri lateris nescitis.
You do not know the power of the dark side.

Sit vis nobiscum.
May the force be with you.

Tauri in decurso
Bulls on parade

Quaeso esto meus vicinus.
Please won't you be my neighbor.

Clamo, clamatis, omnes clamamus pro glace lactis.
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.

Magnus frater spectat te...
Big Brother is watching you....

Monstra mihi pecuniam!
Show me the money!

Habetis bona deum.
Have a nice day.

Die dulci fruere.
Have a nice day.

Mihi ignosce. Cum homine de cane debeo congredi.
Excuse me. I've got to see a man about a dog.

Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!
If you can read this sign, you can get a good job in the fast-paced, high-paying world of Latin!

Sona si Latine loqueris.
Honk if you speak Latin.

Ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum!
Don't you dare erase my hard disk!

Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.

Gramen artificiosum odi.
I hate Astroturf.

Furnulum pani nolo.
I don't want a toaster.

Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare.
I think some people in togas are plotting against me.

Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.
I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult.

Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo.
Don't call me, I'll call you.

Cave ne ante ullas catapultas ambules.
If I were you, I wouldn't walk in front of any catapults.

Canis meus id comedit.
My dog ate it.

Illiud Latine dici non potest.
You can't say that in Latin.

Vidistine nuper imagines moventes bonas?
Seen any good movies lately?

Nullo metro compositum est.
It doesn't rhyme.

Non curo. Si metrum non habet, non est poema.
I don't care. If it doesn't rhyme, it isn't a poem.

Braccae illae virides cum subucula rosea et tunica Caledonia-quam elenganter concinnatur!
Those green pants go so well with that pink shirt and the plaid jacket!

Visne saltare? Viam Latam Fungosam scio.
Do you want to dance? I know the Funky Broadway.

Re vera, potas bene.
Say, you sure are drinking a lot.

Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant!
May barbarians invade your personal space!

Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant!
May conspirators assassinate you in the mall!

Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant!
May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy!

Radix lecti
Couch potato

Quo signo nata es?
What's your sign?

Romani quidem artem amatoriam invenerunt.
You know, the Romans invented the art of love.

Spero nos familiares mansuros.
I hope we'll still be friends.

Mellita, domi adsum.
Honey, I'm home.

Tam exanimis quam tunica nehru fio.
I am as dead as the nehru jacket.

Ventis secundis, tene cursum.
Go with the flow.

Totum dependeat.
Let it all hang out.

Te precor dulcissime supplex!
Pretty please with a cherry on top!

Magister Mundi sum!
I am the Master of the Universe!

Fac me cocleario vomere!
Gag me with a spoon!

Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.
I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.

Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?
Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?

Prehende uxorem meam, sis!
Take my wife, please!

Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Nihil est--in vita priore ego imperator Romanus fui.
That's nothing--in a previous life I was a Roman Emperor.

Aio, quantitas magna frumentorum est.
Yes, that is a very large amount of corn.

Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem!
Stand aside plebians! I am on imperial business.

Oblitus sum perpolire clepsydras!
I forgot to polish the clocks!

Sic faciunt omnes.
Everyone is doing it.

Vacca foeda
Stupid cow

Fac ut vivas.
Get a life.

Anulos qui animum ostendunt omnes gestemus!
Let's all wear mood rings!

Insula Gilliganis
Gilligan's Island

Vescere bracis meis.
Eat my shorts

Lege atque lacrima.
Read 'em and weep

Stultus est sicut stultus facit.
Stupid is as stupid does.

Cum catapultae proscriptae erat, tum soli proscript catapultas habeunt.
If catapaults are outlawed, then only outlaws will only have catapaults.

Raptus regaliter.
Royally screwed.

Non calor sed umor est qui nobis incommodat.
It's not the heat, it's the humidity.

Di! Ecce hora! Uxor mea me necabit!
God, look at the time! My wife will kill me!

Lex clavatoris designati rescindenda est.
The designated hitter rule has got to go.

Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris.
If Caesar were alive, you'd be chained to an oar.

(At a barbeque)
Animadvertistine, ubicumque stes, fumum recta in faciem ferri?
Ever noticed how wherever you stand, the smoke goes right into your face?

Viri sunt Viri.
Men are slime.

Vacca, vacca, vacca. (fozzie bear)
Cow, cow, cow.

Id est mihi, id non est tibi!
It is mine, not yours!

Tempus incognitum.
Time unknown.

Labera lege...
Read my lips...

Credo Elvem etiam vivere.
I believe Elvis lives.

Si hoc legere scis, nimium eruditionis habes.
If you can read this, you have too much education.

Si tu id aeficas, ei venient. Ager Somnia
If you build it, they will come. Field of Dreams

Cogito, ergo sum.
I think, therefore I am.

Sum, ergo edo.
I am, therefore I eat.

Cogito, ergo doleo.
I think, therefore I am depressed.

Cogito sumere potum alterum.
I think I’ll have another drink.

Noli nothis permittere te terere.
Don’t let the bastards get you down.

Duc, sequere, aut de via decede.
Lead, follow, or get out of the way.

Paucis verbis, quid est deconstructionismus?
What, in a nutshell, is deconstructionism?

Qualem muleirculam!
What a bimbo!

Qualem blennum!
What a doofus!

Lagunculae leydianae non accedunt.
Batteries not included.

Hoc nomen meum verum non est.
This isn’t my real name.

Revera linguam latinam vix cognovi.
I don’t really know all that much Latin.

Ubi est mea anaticula cumminosa?
Where’s my rubber ducky?

Volo anaticulam cumminosam meam!
I want my rubber ducky!

Wal*mart. Semper.
Wal*mart. Always.

 

[Desdemona]

Si hoc legere scis, nimium eruditionis habes.
If you can read this, you have too much education.

Gee, ADR, this sounds vaguely familiar. LMAO

 

[A Desert Rose]

Si hoc legere scis, nimium eruditionis habes.
If you can read this, you have too much education.

Gee, ADR, this sounds vaguely familiar. LMAO

LOL.... like just last night.

 

[James G 5]

How about "Illegitami non carborundum est"
"Never let the bastards wear you down"

 

[A Desert Rose]

You've got to try this... kind of intriguing


1. Key in the first 3 digits of your phone number into the calculator.
2. Multiply by 80.
3. Add 1.
4. Multiply by 250.
5. Plus last 4 digits of your phone number.
6. Plus last 4 digits of your phone number again.
7. Minus 250.
8. Divide by 2 at last.

Is this your phone number???


Someone tell me if this works. I don't have a calculator.

 

[morninggirl5]

It worked.

 

[A Desert Rose]

It worked.

Thank you. I don't know my phone number either.... I would have to go find it... I wrote it down some place.

 

[morninggirl5]

LOL

I used my cell phone number, it's the only one i ever use anymore anyway.

 

[A Desert Rose]

LOL

I used my cell phone number, it's the only one i ever use anymore anyway.

Oh i could do that! LOL I never thought of that...duh~

But still, I am math dumb and no calculator. LOL

 

[cellis]

Oh i could do that! LOL I never thought of that...duh~

But still, I am math dumb and no calculator. LOL

Honey there is one on the computer... every computer has one under programs and then accessories... It is there everytime... you never have to worry about misplacing it... only how to use it....

 

[A Desert Rose]

Honey there is one on the computer... every computer has one under programs and then accessories... It is there everytime... you never have to worry about misplacing it... only how to use it....

I knew where it was on my Mac... never bothered to look on this PC.

I don't balance my checkbook, who needs a calculator? LMAO

 

[WillowPuss]

You've got to try this... kind of intriguing


1. Key in the first 3 digits of your phone number into the calculator.
2. Multiply by 80.
3. Add 1.
4. Multiply by 250.
5. Plus last 4 digits of your phone number.
6. Plus last 4 digits of your phone number again.
7. Minus 250.
8. Divide by 2 at last.

Is this your phone number???


Someone tell me if this works. I don't have a calculator.

Well, it would be ... except there are 8 digits in my number!

And you could always do what the constiapetd mathematician does ... get a pencil and work it out on a piece of paper!

 

[cellis]

Well, it would be ... except there are 8 digits in my number!

And you could always do what the constiapetd mathematician does ... get a pencil and work it out on a piece of paper!

Really can you imagine Rose going to all that trouble?

 

[A Desert Rose]

And you could always do what the constiapetd mathematician does ... get a pencil and work it out on a piece of paper!

Really can you imagine Rose going to all that trouble?

Good answer! LOL.

 

[WillowPuss]

Really can you imagine Rose going to all that trouble?

well ... she might
given the right encouragement ...

stranger things have happened



(and ladies ... look very carefully at what i typed - it quite risque for me! lol)