From maturity to youth

[seohdwm46]

I was thinking it might be nice for all of us older, or maturity advanced, people to pass on lessons in life we have learned to the younger generation. It would be cool if we could build on the posts here in order to maybe prevent some of the younger citiznes from making the same mistakes we made. Who knows, perhaps it may alter the life of one individual for the better. It may even prevent a senseless tragedy. At the very least, we older folks may even learn something new. It's worth a shot. So I will post a few to get us started and let's see where it goes. Please keep in mind there will be young people reading so keep it straight and clean. No misleading. No profanity. Thanks to all who choose to participate.

 

[seohdwm46]

Seek first to understand

When listening to someone speak, seek to understand what they mean. Do not listen with the objective simply to reply. Do not just wait for them to finish speaking so you can provide your own input to the subject. Become a good listener. Do not interupt. Feel the message they are relaying to you. Embrace it. If it was important enough for them to tell it to you, it is important enough for you to hear and understand it. It may require you to "peel and onion" so to speak. If at first you don't get it. Peel off a layer and go deeper until you reach the core or essence of what they are trying to convey. Master this, and you will reap great understanding of the world around you and the people in it. They will be more likely to listen to you as well.

 

[seohdwm46]

Dance

Dance. Nobody really cares if you are any good or not. People don't actually sit and watch others dance and critique their moves. Get up out of your seat, get on the dance floor, and move to the music. There is no right or wrong way to dance. Some may seem more relaxed while doing it, but it is simply that thay have learned this lesson earlier than the rest of us. Smile. Enjoy the dance. It's easier than you think once you get up there. So get up and dance!

 

[seohdwm46]

Breakups

Breaking up is not life's end. It is not rejection as much as it is a building block. MEANT TO BE is rare. Compatable is more common. Even that may not last. That doesn't mean the other person finds fault in you. It may simply be that the paths you are each taking are going to different destinations. Think of how your family decides on where to go for a vacation. Most likely each person has a different place in mind to visit. Doesn't mean you dislike the other family members, but you have different ideas. You won't wither and die if you don't see Disney World, and you may find Baja more enjoyable than you ever imagined. Your world won't crumble around you if SUE/RICK decides not to date you anymore. Experience Baja.

 

[seohdwm46]

Ok, get the idea? I am no Psychology major, and you need not be either. Life teaches us all, and we have learned from it. Share your most profound or life changing revelations that others may be enlightened. Remember, it took someone with an axe to clear a path that eventually became I-70. Why should we all have to axe our way through the jungle? I-70 turns into SR 36 which turns into County Road 10 which turns into Timber Lane. Let's see where this may lead.

 

[sassykat]

Well SEO, you have tons of good advice, hope your thread goes well... .

I don't have any advice to pass on, I have enough trouble taking care of myself, let alone passing advice, but I will be waiting in anticipation of new things to come from you and other posters.

Good luck in life and everything to do with it. Glad you are ready to live. Timing is everything isn't it?!?!?

 

[seohdwm46]

Thank you sassykat.
It just seems a waste to learn the hard way, and not pass it on so others don't have to.
Sometimes we live our entire life and don't even know ourselves. At my old age, I am being enlightened. Wish I had been told of these things growing up. Would have made things much easier. But, better to learn late in life than not to learn at all right?
Maybe the thread will take off. Maybe not. Maybe it will help someone, maybe it won't help anyone. Some things we are just not to know.

 

[seohdwm46]

Dr Steven Covey wrote many books of personal change. I have gained a great deal of insight from them. One thing he said that really made me take inventory, "There is a gap between stimulous and response. It is what we do in that gap that makes all the difference."

Another is "that everyone just wants to be understood." Most of the time people don't even try to understand. They interupt conversations to inject their own views, or, the entire time they are listening they are thinking of what they are going to say once the person talking finally stops."
The divorce rate, the high degree of disfuntional families in America, the huge number of lonely people...... is it no wonder?

The old saying, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life." is so true. So do we as human beings choose to change, or stay where things are most comfortable? In our own ego.

 

[oddity83]

Better paranoid than convicted.

 

[seohdwm46]

thanks for input oddity

 

[niteloser]

But the best teacher is experience... Most of us young people don't trust the advice we are given and go out and do what we were warned about to see if we can get a different result... It doens't happen often but we try any ways

 

[seohdwm46]

That's always an option

 

[SnoopDog]

I am a willing listener

Snoopy,

 

[MintSoda]

If you start a fire, it's a good idea to keep an eye on it.

 

[seohdwm46]

If you start a fire, it's a good idea to keep an eye on it.

Excellent point!!

 

[Eilan]

So, how old does one have to be to post in this thread? Is it for the old AND the old at heart? 46 isn't old, by the way. Seasoned and experienced, perhaps, but not old.

What I've come to realize in my 31 1/2 years is that the more I know, the more painfully aware I am that I really don't know all that much.

However, admitting that one is ignorant is the first thing that one has to do in order to achieve wisdom.

 

[seohdwm46]

Anyone who has learned something they wish to pass on can do so. No real age limit. Just keep it clean and do it with the intent to help others. Thank you for saying 46 is not old. I feel younger already!

 

[sassykat]

Anyone who has learned something they wish to pass on can do so. No real age limit. Just keep it clean and do it with the intent to help others. Thank you for saying 46 is not old. I feel younger already!

First, you are not old, but still older than I am...lol...

Second, not sure if this is appropriate here, but received in e-mail today and I felt it fit. The only thing I don't like is how it keeps referring to "old." I do like the word mature better. I am not getting older, just wiser...

Anyway, here it is.......



>> How I feel about being old...
>>
>>
>>The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I
>>was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my
>>reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was
>>an interesting question, and I would ponder it and let her know.
>>
>>
>>Old age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in
>>my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I
>>sometimes despair over my body---the cellulite, the wrinkles, the baggy
>>eyes, the jiggly thighs, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken
>>aback by the old lady who lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over
>>those things for long.
>>
>>I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving
>>family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become
>>more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own
>>friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not
>>making my bed,
>>or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so
>>avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be
>>extravagant.
>>
>>I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they
>>understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
>>
>>
>>Whose business is it if I choose to read until 4 am, and sleep until
>>noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50's &
>>60's, and at the same time wish to weep over a lost love, I will. I
>>will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging
>>midriff, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to,
>>despite the pitying glances from the bikini set. They, too, will get
>>old.
>>
>>I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just
>>as well forgotten and I eventually remember the important things.
>>Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not
>>break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a
>>beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us
>>strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is
>>pristine and
>>sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect. I am so blessed
>>to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray, and to have my
>>youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.
>>So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair
>>could
>>turn silver. I can say "no" and mean it. I can say "yes" and mean it.
>>As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what
>>other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned
>>the right to be wrong.
>>
>>So, to answer the question, I like being old. It has set me free. I
>>like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but
>>while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have
>>been, or worrying about what will be. For the first time in my life, I
>>don't have to have a reason to do the things I want to do.
>>
>>And I shall eat dessert every single day.

 

[sassykat]

A little lightheartedness....

...hope it is clean enough...lol....

Grandpa's Shirt
>> > A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather
>> > sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, with
>>
>> > nothing on from the waist down.
>> >
>> > "Grandpa, what are you doing? You're winkie is out in the wind for
>> > everyone to see!" he exclaimed.
>> >
>> > The old man looked off in the distance without answering.
>> > So he asked again.
>> >
>> > The old man slowly looked at him and said, "Well...last week I sat out
>>
>> > here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's
>> > idea."
>>

 

[MintSoda]

I'm only 21...reminding people to watch a fire they started is about the only wisdom I've accumulated so far.

 

[seohdwm46]

Mintsoda....as I said earlier, that is excellent point. Thanks for sharing. Had a fire or two get away from me in my day. Got them under control, but damn, sure makes your heart and stomach do funny things.

Sassy...thanks for your input as well. What an untapped resource our elderly people are. Too bad we don't seek their wisdom more often.

I read and intresting little quip today: Speak less, listen more.

 

[nighthawk289]

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly
used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
__________________________________________________

 

[SweetErika]

Glad to see you were able to get this moved, Seo. I've learned a lot already!

I'm young, but I feel like I've lived a very rich life so far, and this knowledge did not come easily...

Every experience, no matter how minute or great, horrific or wonderful, is an opportunity to learn and grow. Be thankful, and take as much from every one as possible.

Your only mistake is the experience you don't learn something from. Instead of dwelling on the past, look to the future where you will be able to put your new knowledge and skills in action.

We do the best we can, with what we have, and where we are. With your current knowledge, you may have done differently, but that doesn't mean it would have been better. The lesson was valuable and is an integral part of who you are today.

 

[hydrex]

Never get drunk and throw bullets into a fire unless you have a big rock to hide behind.

When in a public restroom never flush until your pants are up and you're ready to go. You never know when the toilet will overflow.

Don't swim drunk.

No matter how hard you try, you can't jump off a roof using a sheet as a parachute and think it will slow you down.

Just because you can't see it doesn't mean a sliding glass door is open.

Never do anything you've seen on Jackass.

Watch and record all Mythbusters shows.

Never, ever, under any circumstances allow someone to bring a camera or video cam when you are getting drunk. And never dance naked during said intoxication.

 

[Cathleen]

One thing I've learned is to relax. Becoming more 'mature' - yea, ok older - is a gift actually. You find that all those things that were so important become less so. I think we want to be like others when we're young, conformity is the goal. As I've aged I embrace the differences in people. I enjoy having friends with different skills or the like.

We need each other, we all have something to offer - those differences become wonderful. With one of my long time friends we sort of match up in a fun and funny way. We've decided I'm the keeper of birthday dates of other friends etc., while he is the keeper of how to fix my vacuum I keep breaking. It is the ying and yang of life.

Sassy's post about getting older is so true - I love to embrace my 'goofey-ness' and that of others. Letting 'the younger generation' see that freedom might rub off on them. I wasted so much energy on being serious about everything it seemed.

Life is serious stuff but not everything has the same importance - what bothered me 15 years ago is but a blip on the radar now. I guess it is all about perspective - we have different views as we spin around year after year.

Great idea for a thread - thanks!