From another website

[sirhugs]

I read this joke on askmen[dot]com, thought it could make an interesting premise for a mature story:

An elderly couple who are both widowed have been courting for a long time. They decide it's finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they go out to dinner and talk about how their marriage might work. They discuss finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally, the man broaches the subject of their physical relationship.


"How do you feel about sex?" he asks, rather tentatively.


"I would like it infrequently," replies the old lady.


The old gentleman sits quietly for a moment, adjusts his glasses, leans over towards her and whispers: "Is that one word or two?"

 

[Carnevil9]

Maybe she has Parkinson's, and can give him handjobs in her sleep.

 

[sirhugs]

*snortle*

though we in Canada are still waiting for our Supreme Court to decide whether sleeping sex can ever be legal...

 

[PhilGarlic]

A guy

So a guy wakes up in hospital covered in bandages.
Doctor says he has been in an accident and he will make a full recovery but his cock is missing.
Doctor tells him that he is due $9000 compensation and they can build him a working dick at $1000 an inch, Doctor advises he talk to his wife "if she is used to 5" then anything bigger may be to much,, if she has been used to 9" anything smaller may leave her wanting. Go home and talk it over with your wife.

The guy returns in a few weeks and the Doctor asks have you and the wife decided 5" or 9" ?

Neither, we are having new kitchen units fitted.