Friends, Trust, Love and Other Online Realities

[TonyG]

It's time to call me a sucker.

I have been someone who:
-never blocked people on my MSN contact list
-believed what I was told by people
-gave trust with my friendship
-honored people's requests
-was honest with my feelings


I am also not naive about life and its realities on the net pertaining to people. However this month's events have left me rather bitter. Two friends recently discovered they were pawns in a sick game of jealousy. Another discovered his online girlfriend of two years was really a man. Now, I too have both been mislead and also trolled via emails.

I have been too trusting and it is time to add me to the list of fools.


So, what is your opinion of how much honesty is really on the net and here at Lit?

 

[lavender]

 

[KillerMuffin]

I think that truly sucks. I take people online at face value with a grain of salt. I've been online for 2 years now and have managed to not get hurt or have any friends suddenly turncoat on me. Mostly, I think, because I keep them on the 'Net for the most part. They are my 'Net friends, some of whom I'd adore to meet in person, most of whom I like just where they are. The 'Net is as close as they'll ever get to me.

I would like to say that I'd never fall in love with anyone on the 'Net, though it's distinctly possible, as I haven't shown inclination of doing so, but never say never.

The 'Net is like real life. People just find it easier to be two faced online because you can't see the other person. But, you still make real friendships and real relationships. You still care about the people you meet and interact with. You are still personally involved with them.

To cut yourself off from the richness of friendship because you've been burned is a sad thing, but sometimes the burning is a terribly painful lesson that can't be forgotten.

 

[Guest]

I'd say I'm pretty trusting. Having online access since '94, I'd like to think that I'm pretty good at guessing who is fake and who is not. (Sure, you can't always discover that after one conversation, but, like I said I'm a pretty good judge.) There's always things to look for. Small hints to tell you who is talking to you on the other end.

Like, with your friend with the 2 yr. long "girlfrined"... Did they never exchange pictures? If they did, did "she" look like "the girl next door" and NOT a porn model? Did they ever speak on the phone? Hell, I think after going a year with no phone contact, I'd start to wonder what was going on.

Like I said...there are things to look for.

 

[TinaG13]

Oh Tony, that totally sucks... I'm very skeptical by nature. My daddy always told to never believe anything you hear and only half of what you see....

I've seen and heard stories on the news similar to the situations you posted. You really do have to be so careful when you can't actually see who you are talking to face to face. It's really kind of scary when you really think about it.

But all in all, I do have pretty good intuition and I always try to listen to that because it's usually right.

 

[Angel]

You have mail, gammykins.

 

[unusuallyconfused]

Maybe people on this board are too trusting. I also trust more than I should. I don't think it is wise to develop relationships from the net, I haven't heard to many happy endings. I am so direct it is hard to believe any one would not be. Oh the confusion. But the fools will eventually be the ones with nothing to give.

 

[Coggie]

(

Sad stuff but...........

KM says that the net is like real life and I totally agree with that and his last sentence.

This environment is both safer and more dangerous than RL.

On the one hand in seems little on our computer screens can hurt us but before too long people we've let in close due to this perceived "safety" are giving us sleepless nights.

Buyer beware I guess.......

With regard to happy ending and the post preceeding mine. For the record I met Mrs coggie on the net, I *love* MSN and all who sail in her. It's not all bad here.

 

[Angel]

*sigh*

Gammykins, you have an another E-mail. I hope to hell you get it before you log off.

 

[bluntforcemama]

Finally! Someone who knows why I'm paranoid!

 

[TinaG13]

Tony??

Where'd ya go, sweetie? I hope you're okay.... Don't let those of us who are true friends worry for too long..

 

[Cheyenne]

Another discovered his online girlfriend of two years was really a man

I just don't understand why someone would spend two years of time doing such a thing to someone else. Why? To what purpose?

 

[Angel]

Cheyenne

Some people are just fucked in the head.

 

[Guru]

 

[dot dot dash]

tony
i am sorry to hear you are feeling like a sucker....you definately need to use your head, before you can truly trust someone, online....but i met my true love here, she is my love, my heart, my soulmate....had it not been for the net we would never have met....

 

[Siren]

It seems like the person with the two year prank is the one who needs help

 

[Angel]

Yeah no shit about the pictures. Seriously I think I'm addicted to my webcam - although nobody sees half of the pictures I take with that thing.

 

[Renegade]

Yeah no shit about the pictures. Seriously I think I'm addicted to my webcam - although nobody sees half of the pictures I take with that thing.

Hey! We want to see them....

 

[eloquentlyfoolish]

Tony,

I must be second in line right after you. I thought I had met "the love of my life" and it turns out he was married and his wife was pregnant. I even went as far as to meet him - what a mistake that was. All that did was make me want him more. When I was with him I never felt so loved, so comfortable, so warm and safe. We fit together so beautifully as we slept. It wasn't until the next day that he told me he was really married. I couldn't get home fast enough. It was a nightmare - one that I don't think I'll ever get over. Honesty is only as good as the person who gives it. I was totally honest and just figured others were like me. Unfortunately, I discovered that others are not like me at all. Some are just out for the "free ride", not worrying what they do to other people when they've hurt them. Anyway......don't feel alone in this. There are many others out there like us. Isn't that such a shame?

eloquentlyfoolish

 

[Busty]

Tony

The truth of the matter is that online life is not so far off from reality except that people think they can get away with more because you can't see them. As my momma always said what goes around comes around. You can't hide things forever. We have all had some terrible associations online but it is the two or three truely good people you meet that make it all worthwhile. Look at Budman and me - we met jokingly online but went on to become bestest friends. Same for JC and Pop. There are good people everywhere and you already know some of us. As for the rest - chalk it up to a momentary lapse in judgement and move on. You have a number of people who really like you and are your friend.

 

[Budman]

Tony, what a lot have said is very true. I met my bestest friend in the entire world in lit chat. Alas, I have not had the opportunity to meet her in R/L yet, but hopefully soon I will. We talk almost daily, share our problems, our joys, our sorrows. Yes, the net can be deceiving, and cruel at times. But, Tony, there are lots that have met on the net and have become steadfast friends and supporters. Would I change my life since meeting Busty and seeral other very dear friends on line? NOPE not for anything. Hang in there Tony, there are lots of people that care about you.
Mail me if ya ever need to talk or vent, pal. I'm a good listener.

 

[Ally C]

I have been too trusting and it is time to add me to the list of fools.

Don't ever say that or think it of yourself. It's the cruel people who are the fools. Everyone makes mistakes, but that doesn't make you foolish.

 

[Guru]

 

[morninggirl5]

I have been too trusting and it is time to add me to the list of fools.

It's the ones who violated your trust who should be added to the list of fools. The world needs a lot more trust and a lot less cynical people.

 

[SweetCherry]

Ive been burned more than once on the net. I still am one who trusts most everyone. There are some people, however, who I simply get a gut feeling about and don't believe a word they say.

I also have been lucky to meet my love online. I learned the only way I could to trust him. I DID trust him. He gave me his number to call, we chatted and showed each other how we cared as friends. He let me into the lives of his children and I have done the same as much as I can, since my children are quite young yet.

I love him and his girls as much as I love my own children. They may not be with me, but they ARE my family. I can hardly wait til we can be together and live like a family, but I will wait. No matter how long it takes, cuz it's worth it, in the longrun.

I love you, Draco!