Friends Of A Different Stripe?

[Laurel]

Honest answers, please.

Can you be friends with someone at the opposite side of the political/ideological spectrum from you?

Can you argue politics with someone till you want to punch something, then go grab lunch with that same person?

Can you separate a person from their views, or do a person's political/ideological views represent too much of who they are for you to ignore them?

Like I said, honest answers only. Try to avoid "I like everybody!"-type responses. Dig deep into your psyche.

 

[Marxist]

There's got to be a middle-ground on which everyone has to meet in order to be friends. Politics, sports, religiion, school, region, whatever.

 

[lavender]

 

[Purple Haze]

My best friends are Right Wing zealots.

Nobody's perfect.

 

[Starfish]

No.


Is that deep enough?

 

[Rubyfruit]

Yes, because I am not invested in people thinking the same way I do. Honestly, I find it refreshing to listen to, and comtemplate views that differ from mine.

Ruby

 

[Problem Child]

My best friends are Right Wing zealots.

Nobody's perfect.

Is he related to Nobody Special?

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Yeah I can...

Friends that a drug dealers, friends who are *shock* *horror* vegetarian, atheist, gays...

People who are commie pinko bastards, people who are just pommies...

 

[T.H. Oughts]

As long as they can respect my point of view as well. Nothing worse than a person who will tell you their views but you can not tell them yours or except them.

Kind of like some of the people that visit erotic or porn websites but then would never tell a close "friend" that they do, for fear of discrimination... if they were a true "friend", the friend would except you for who you are.......

Last night I told a single female friend of mine in another country that I enjoy women too, not that I was putting the hard word on her, but she had just told me about her new age religion, which she is shy telling people about, which I excepted, so I thought it was my turn. We both excepted each others thoughts and I feel now our friendship can be true.

 

[erosman]

reaching for transparency

I can get along with and accept people with views that conflict with mine , as long as the person -not the viewpoint- is open-minded and not condescending. I've embraced my share of archaic and dull thoughts, but don't come across to me like your shit doesn't smell. Usually that type of attitude is a facade for shallowness and insecurity.

"If you throw dirt, you lose ground!" - author unknown

 

[Mellon Collie]

It would depend on the person, if they were constantly berating me with comments about their beliefs being correct or better than mine then no I could not be friends with them. But if it was a person ho did not hold it over my head or force opinions down my throat then yes, I would have no problem maintaining a friendship with them.

 

[Cheyenne]

Yup. My favorite phrase of the last day or two seems to be "I don't give a flying fuck what your political views are." That would be true here at Lit as well as in my RL.

I'd even say that I don't know what the political views are of some of my friends. Politics seems to be a much bigger topic at Lit than in the real world. For me, anyway. Unless it is an election year. Even then, I don't think I really know who a lot of my friends voted for. I'd assume Bush, but I don't really know for sure.

 

[cymbidia]

If someone is too far from me politically or ideologically, then i'd find it difficult to separate them from their beliefs. I suppose it's discriminatory of me but i just don't think i could get too close and comfy with someone who might, for example, advocate violent protest against Pro-Choice medical facilities.

In the back of my mind i'd always have a question mark next to that person's name and be waiting to see *when* they would say or do that which i would find politically/morally/socially reprehensible.

I guess the truth is that i'd not be able to fully relax with someone drastically different from me in beliefs.

However, i'm pretty accepting and open-minded about regular differences between me and other people. No one is going to exactly mirror my belief structure, and i know that other views have as much merit as mine.

 

[april-wine]

Well I have to throw my two cents in....Honestly a good debate shouldn't bust up a friendship, I mean everybody doesn't always have the same beliefs....However, if that person was constantly on the other side of the fence from me, I don't think we would be friends long....Differeneces are fine, but I believe you need some kind of common ground to have a longterm relationship with someone....

My two cents.......

 

[RisiaSkye]

Can you be friends with someone at the opposite side of the political/ideological spectrum from you?

Yes. I respect and encourage ongoing debate. A world in which everyone holds (or at least expresses) the same views is not only dull, it's repressive.

Can you argue politics with someone till you want to punch something, then go grab lunch with that same person?

Personally, if I get really hot under the collar, I might need a little cooling off period first. When the debate gets really heated and someone I like and respect enough to listen to offends me on a deep ideological level, it takes me some time to separate the person from the argument. Sometimes, though, such arguments get me to examine my own assumptions and beliefs in a way that wouldn't happen if they were never challenged.

Can you separate a person from their views, or do a person's political/ideological views represent too much of who they are for you to ignore them?

About some things, I can separate the two. But, there are a few core beliefs that completely erode my ability to respect a person. Racists, overbearing scripture (not just Christian) thumpers, gay-bashers, misogynists and anti-intellectuals aren't people I choose to associate with in my personal life. This includes many members of my family.

 

[Starfish]

As long as they can respect my point of view as well. Nothing worse than a person who will tell you their views but you can not tell them yours or except them.

You took the words right out of my fucking mouth. Thank you.

 

[Marxist]

You took the words right out of my fucking mouth. Thank you.

And what a fucking mouth it is. Yummy.





Was that a good snuggle? I'm trying to fit in around here damnit and with all the lefties and liberals jumping ship I've got to be camouflaged.

 

[Starfish]

And what a fucking mouth it is. Yummy.





Was that a good snuggle? I'm trying to fit in around here damnit and with all the lefties and liberals jumping ship I've got to be camouflaged.

I am rather moderate, so I don't plan on jumping anything but your bones.

 

[p_p_man]

If I personally like the person...

then there is absolutely no problem with having a near fight argument ending in a beer.

If I don't like someone then I see their argument as a more personal extension of themselves. And I could never end it on a friendly note...

 

[Emeraldtryst]

Absolutely. One of my friends is a fanatical Christian and tries to convert me any time religion comes up as a topic of discussion, but after I turn down salvation we just make a run for the border (Taco Bell!) and we're cool about it.

We accept each other's views as much as we might hate them. I think that's what a friendship should be able to be.

 

[Thumper]

Yes.

Period.

My best friend in RL (as I have stated before) is a Reagan-was-a-God Republican that thinks he still rides around on a white horse crushing evil empires singlehandedly.

If our arguments become too heated we start bitching about the lack of pussy available to us.

Seriously, when it does get rather intense, I back off and examine what I am saying and see if maybe I am not choosing the best words to get my point across.

A lot gets screwed up in the translation and the preconceived notions about each others positions.

Cheyenne and I are political opposites but I consider her a friend. And it does disturb me when I see people here engaging in name calling and personal attacks. Such things are pointless.

Read an interesting article in the newspaper several months back (before Jeffords split with the GOP) about Trent Lott and Tom Daschle. Although they are almost diametrically opposed on every issue they have a friendly and respectful relationship. It is their constituents that resort to the petty distortions and name calling.

 

[juicylips]

Whatever someones religious or political views are, whether they mirror my own or not, I always try to find the person underneath them.

That is the important part

Cassidy

 

[MissTaken]

Mutual respect combined with diversity make for interesting friendships.

At the point where politics becomes personalized or moral lines are crossed and at hte point where a person's political views are so closed as to disallow me my opinion or condemn me for it, I would not be able to be friends.

I am also not likely to initiate friendship with these sorts of people either. The best example of which is racists.

 

[Bob Peale]

Honest answers, please.

Can you be friends with someone at the opposite side of the political/ideological spectrum from you?

Can you argue politics with someone till you want to punch something, then go grab lunch with that same person?

Can you separate a person from their views, or do a person's political/ideological views represent too much of who they are for you to ignore them?

Like I said, honest answers only. Try to avoid "I like everybody!"-type responses. Dig deep into your psyche.

To be honest, yes and no.

With some thing (most notably politics, religion, and political affiliation) I enjoy having friends with differeing views because they help me learn and they make my arguments more credible - they force me to defend/refute specifics rather than general points. And I learn from them - some of my more radical ideas have been tempered by the introduction of facts and oppposing opinions by one of these friends.

There are other lines that I can't cross (pedophilia, for instance - I realize that is an extreme case, but I needed to illustrate the point). In those cases, I cannot be friends with them, regardless of their other qualities.

To be honest.

 

[Lost Cause]

Good question!
I cannot be friends with anyone whose political affiliation requires the destruction of my country. If a communist or socialist tells me that is not true, I know they are 1. Ignorant, 2. Lying and trying to decieve me. My attitude is if they don't like this system...leave! Other than that, I can live and let live. I usually do not associate with those that do not share around 80% of my beliefs. I am into the tribal way of living, being a biker does require that I live that way. I do not let others run down my country with out verbal retaliation. I enjoy debating with frothy-mouthed radicals that can only repeat what they heard this morning on NPR or CNN, or spoon fed by bitter teachers.
You wanted the truth, there it is.