Well, I seem to have gotten myself into a bit of a "situation" and am filling in the blanks here in order to solicit a bit of advice. When I had difficulties earlier with a tech problem, I came to the Board and found you willing and eager to give a varied collection of solutions. Now, you have another chance; and this time it is far from a "tech” problem.
Most of you who will read this know me from my story postings. Some of you know me through personal e-mail and chat-room contacts and conversations. For those who are not “in the know” about particular details, let me sketch a bit of background.
I am a retired high school principal, married a long, long time to a woman who is termed by others who know her “a religion fanatic” who has felt, for the past 25 years, that sex is totally unnecessary after the completion of a family plan (we have three adult children). Within the past three or four years, I have begun to “play” in some depth online and have also written stories and threads out of an imagination piqued by frustration. In the town in which we live, I have become somewhat of a household name and, therefore, it has not been easy in finding release -- or so I have termed it -- from any of this frustration, because I am recognized most everywhere I go by former or current students or by parents, etc.
In the past few years, I have begun to arrange rendezvous with certain women with whom I have become friendly online. These meetings have always been under the guise of educational conferences and conventions and have always been in cities within two to six hours driving time of this town. The “meetings” have mostly been mutually reewarding, with only a few having negative connotations for either or both of the participants. I have become satisfied with these occasional forays into sexual abandon and have met several of the women more than once. Most of the women have also been married and in relationships that were unsatisfactory for one reason or another.
There, now, I have set the scene. My difficulty has arisen in just the past two days. I was making arrangements to meet a woman this past Saturday, a first-time meeting for us, and she mentioned that she knew my town well and could meet me at a quaint little sidewalk coffee bistro in the other end of town. I saw no difficulty in this meeting, as this was not home turf for me and I would not really run a big risk of being spotted. I was in the clear, so to speak, with my own family responsibilities, as my wife was attending a church retreat all day and evening Saturday and would not care much as to where I was.
I agreed to the woman’s stipulations and we set a mid-afternoon time for a cup of coffee and discussion about any possible future our rendezvous might have. Well, you have probably figured out by this time that I was being set up. As I sat in the little cafe drinking a cup-a, in walked a very good friend of my wife. I panicked, of course, and began a conversation with her, inviting her to sit with me, hoping that when “Margaret” arrived, she would notice my animated conversation and take the hint to disappear. Well, “Margaret” never showed up because the woman with whom I was so gaily conversing, was my online paramour......Anita Margaret (which I had not known, of course).
The conversation was rather skillfully led by Anita to my actual reason for being there and she managed to drop the bomb that she was, in fact, the Margaret I had planned to meet. I damn near fell off my chair in fright. My aged heart beat several more times in each pulse than a heart is supposed to beat. But then she burst out in a giggle very unlike Anita.
She remarked that the look on my face was worth anything it might cost her from this point on and proceeded to fill me in on the fact that she had suspected I was who I was almost a month ago through some of the things I had said and some of the answers I had given to her questions about my wife. Anita is also a member of my wife’s church group, but had chosen not to attend the retreat and knew it would provide us perfect “cover” for a meeting.
Anita spent the next 20 minutes affirming the facts of her own story told online to me. Everything she had written was apparently true, except for her sexual experience. She has been single for her entire 44 years and is technically a virgin. I use the term ‘technically’ because that is the term she used. She took on a serious mein at that point and told me that she had a hold on me now that I would find difficult to break without having my wife learn of my online activities, and of their eventual results.
Anita invited me to her home and I went with her. She explained that she had read two of my posts as I was writing them (Sharing/Desk Clerk, and Play with my Toys) and wanted to know if I could really do what I had described in the stories. She had come to the decision more than a year ago that she was missing something in not being sexually involved with a man, but had no possibility of attracting one at her age and in her particular employment situation. She would not even consider a one-night stand in order to find out if the feelings described by online correspondence (with me and with others) were actual or just made up in our degenerate’s mind. When she began to understand who I was and what it might mean, she decided it was worth a try. She had, literally, never had a complete orgasm in her entire adult life. She explained that her own religious upbringing prohibited self-gratification and she has lived in fear of any repercussions for years. It was her stumbling on my name somewhere and following up with my recommendations for her reading (Literotica, of course) that led her to think she was lacking a bit in her make-up.
I will not go into any of the details (she also reads these posts, I think) but suffice it to say that (1) she had repeated orgasms in the next four hours; (2) she remains ‘technically’ a virgin yet today, as there was no penetration past what nature has provided (yes, even at her age); (3) she understands what men and women have written about and talked about online with regard to satisfaction and contentment.
My problem is this: where do I go from here? She has made it abundantly clear that if I am not available for occasional ‘meetings’ there is a distinct possibility that my wife will learn, anonymously of course, about my own marital infidelity. I honestly cannot call her hand and tell my wife what happened, because she would never, ever believe Anita could/would do such a thing. While my marriage is not heavenly, by any means, it is a stable relationship for my children and grandchildren and must not be torn apart at this point in our lives. How do I rectify? How do I rationalize? What is your advice, fair friends, male and female?
And before you begin, please....I do not need lectures on how rotten a husband I am, or how unfaithful and decadent I have been....I know I am an asshole by any normal translation of the word. I am here and trying to get along with life. I just need a few ideas.
Thanks
Edward
Most of you who will read this know me from my story postings. Some of you know me through personal e-mail and chat-room contacts and conversations. For those who are not “in the know” about particular details, let me sketch a bit of background.
I am a retired high school principal, married a long, long time to a woman who is termed by others who know her “a religion fanatic” who has felt, for the past 25 years, that sex is totally unnecessary after the completion of a family plan (we have three adult children). Within the past three or four years, I have begun to “play” in some depth online and have also written stories and threads out of an imagination piqued by frustration. In the town in which we live, I have become somewhat of a household name and, therefore, it has not been easy in finding release -- or so I have termed it -- from any of this frustration, because I am recognized most everywhere I go by former or current students or by parents, etc.
In the past few years, I have begun to arrange rendezvous with certain women with whom I have become friendly online. These meetings have always been under the guise of educational conferences and conventions and have always been in cities within two to six hours driving time of this town. The “meetings” have mostly been mutually reewarding, with only a few having negative connotations for either or both of the participants. I have become satisfied with these occasional forays into sexual abandon and have met several of the women more than once. Most of the women have also been married and in relationships that were unsatisfactory for one reason or another.
There, now, I have set the scene. My difficulty has arisen in just the past two days. I was making arrangements to meet a woman this past Saturday, a first-time meeting for us, and she mentioned that she knew my town well and could meet me at a quaint little sidewalk coffee bistro in the other end of town. I saw no difficulty in this meeting, as this was not home turf for me and I would not really run a big risk of being spotted. I was in the clear, so to speak, with my own family responsibilities, as my wife was attending a church retreat all day and evening Saturday and would not care much as to where I was.
I agreed to the woman’s stipulations and we set a mid-afternoon time for a cup of coffee and discussion about any possible future our rendezvous might have. Well, you have probably figured out by this time that I was being set up. As I sat in the little cafe drinking a cup-a, in walked a very good friend of my wife. I panicked, of course, and began a conversation with her, inviting her to sit with me, hoping that when “Margaret” arrived, she would notice my animated conversation and take the hint to disappear. Well, “Margaret” never showed up because the woman with whom I was so gaily conversing, was my online paramour......Anita Margaret (which I had not known, of course).
The conversation was rather skillfully led by Anita to my actual reason for being there and she managed to drop the bomb that she was, in fact, the Margaret I had planned to meet. I damn near fell off my chair in fright. My aged heart beat several more times in each pulse than a heart is supposed to beat. But then she burst out in a giggle very unlike Anita.
She remarked that the look on my face was worth anything it might cost her from this point on and proceeded to fill me in on the fact that she had suspected I was who I was almost a month ago through some of the things I had said and some of the answers I had given to her questions about my wife. Anita is also a member of my wife’s church group, but had chosen not to attend the retreat and knew it would provide us perfect “cover” for a meeting.
Anita spent the next 20 minutes affirming the facts of her own story told online to me. Everything she had written was apparently true, except for her sexual experience. She has been single for her entire 44 years and is technically a virgin. I use the term ‘technically’ because that is the term she used. She took on a serious mein at that point and told me that she had a hold on me now that I would find difficult to break without having my wife learn of my online activities, and of their eventual results.
Anita invited me to her home and I went with her. She explained that she had read two of my posts as I was writing them (Sharing/Desk Clerk, and Play with my Toys) and wanted to know if I could really do what I had described in the stories. She had come to the decision more than a year ago that she was missing something in not being sexually involved with a man, but had no possibility of attracting one at her age and in her particular employment situation. She would not even consider a one-night stand in order to find out if the feelings described by online correspondence (with me and with others) were actual or just made up in our degenerate’s mind. When she began to understand who I was and what it might mean, she decided it was worth a try. She had, literally, never had a complete orgasm in her entire adult life. She explained that her own religious upbringing prohibited self-gratification and she has lived in fear of any repercussions for years. It was her stumbling on my name somewhere and following up with my recommendations for her reading (Literotica, of course) that led her to think she was lacking a bit in her make-up.
I will not go into any of the details (she also reads these posts, I think) but suffice it to say that (1) she had repeated orgasms in the next four hours; (2) she remains ‘technically’ a virgin yet today, as there was no penetration past what nature has provided (yes, even at her age); (3) she understands what men and women have written about and talked about online with regard to satisfaction and contentment.
My problem is this: where do I go from here? She has made it abundantly clear that if I am not available for occasional ‘meetings’ there is a distinct possibility that my wife will learn, anonymously of course, about my own marital infidelity. I honestly cannot call her hand and tell my wife what happened, because she would never, ever believe Anita could/would do such a thing. While my marriage is not heavenly, by any means, it is a stable relationship for my children and grandchildren and must not be torn apart at this point in our lives. How do I rectify? How do I rationalize? What is your advice, fair friends, male and female?
And before you begin, please....I do not need lectures on how rotten a husband I am, or how unfaithful and decadent I have been....I know I am an asshole by any normal translation of the word. I am here and trying to get along with life. I just need a few ideas.
Thanks
Edward
