Friend question.

[zkz]

Okay I'm a virgin, I also has a friend who is a virgin (but she has fooled around a bit) Some time over the past week she asked me if would sleep with her, I'm her cuddle buddy and she asked if I wanted to be another type of buddy...What do you guys think? Any advice? I have pretty much made up my mind that I will but I think input is always nice.

Oh yes and if there is anything you think I should do to make the first time special for her please tell me.

 

[College_geek]

Okay I'm a virgin, I also has a friend who is a virgin (but she has fooled around a bit) Some time over the past week she asked me if would sleep with her, I'm her cuddle buddy and she asked if I wanted to be another type of buddy...What do you guys think? Any advice? I have pretty much made up my mind that I will but I think input is always nice.

Oh yes and if there is anything you think I should do to make the first time special for her please tell me.

Not having completely had that experience (started dating a friend and it has lasted, but never slept with him), but reading and hearing a good amount about it, I'd say be careful. When friends become friends with benefits, it can either be a good thing or a bad thing when everything's said and done. As long as the two of you both want to stay just friends, but have that extra part in the relationship, that's great. But as soon as one starts feeling for the other emotionally, if the other doesn't feel the same way back, that's when problems can start.

 

[Erotisphere]

Well, you didn't mention the age of you and your friend. If you guys are still in high school or even younger, reconsider your choice. There is major issues with having sex and you need to weigh them all out first. If you do indeed decide to go for it, please, please, please use a condom.

 

[Bobmi357]

I don't like the term "friends with benefits". Its not easy to have sex with someone without developing an emotional attachment.

I would suggest strongly that you sit down with your friend and ask the following question. "What if one of us falls in love with the other person?". The answer you get may not be the one you want to hear, or you might find out that she's really hoping that will happen. In either case you need to seriously consider the implications of these benefits and I'd suggest you talk about it before you start sleeping with each other.

 

[zkz]

Well, you didn't mention the age of you and your friend. If you guys are still in high school or even younger, reconsider your choice. There is major issues with having sex and you need to weigh them all out first. If you do indeed decide to go for it, please, please, please use a condom.

Well we both graduated last year from HS. And yes there would be no way i would be doing this without a condom.

 

[Meat Whistler]

I think you should seriously think about it. One is likely to get emotionally involved and then it's difficult to maintain your friendship. Determine how important your friendship is and if you are that close of friends, talk about it with her.

 

[serpentofthefog]

I have seen many a friendship end because the friends 'hooked up.' Is a couple of nights of fun worth a whole friendship? But people are all different, I have had fun with some of my friends before as well, and we are fine. If you think that the two of you can do that, hey, then go for it! But if you don't, stay the way you are.

 

[Limbhugger]

Is six or so minutes (in the entirety) worth risking the friendship? Trust me, the fantasy of what you're thinking is probably far less than the reality will be. And if it is the first time for you both then you both will carry those memories FOREVER.

Is there possibly more here in this relationship? Rhetorical question.

Sex is best IMO when there is a connection. Not just cuz I can.

I say talk about it a lot with each other on a personal level not sexual one. Then if you're both still sure, talk about it some more on a sexual level. You've both waited this long, no need to rush. Just be realistic and honest and go with your gut, not your cock.

 

[nymphochristy]

Go for it...sex is always great.

 

[moonchild24]

Don't do it.... you'll probably regret it.... At least let your first time be with someone you love

 

[NaiveOne]

Oh yeah....


I forgot about this thread! Thanks moon...


Did ya do it?

 

[zkz]

Not yet. She still drops serious hints sometimes though.

 

[Motu79]

Well, how do YOU feel about her? Are you sexually attracted to her? Do you think a relationship would work out?

 

[Mskey]

while there may be a certain comfort to be found in having your first time be with a friend, the person knows you, you have a comfortable history together outside of the sex, you trust them etc. etc. I am loath to say this is a good idea.
Friendship, even longlasting deep friendship, is always complicated by sex, sometimes even destroyed. I do know whereof I speak on this, having among my sexual partners a man who is undoubtedly my most darling and cherished friend. It adds a new dimension to the existing relationship whether you want it to or not and you both need to think about that before you jump into anything. Sexual intimacy complicates the way you relate to each other and you should see if your friendship can withstand that. Add to the mix the fact that this will be the introductory sexual experience for both of you and I say you have a recipie for disaster.

Yes, I do think that lovers should be friends whenever possible, but I prefere to be intimate with a person I like. If you don't think you'll be able to go back to being " friends" and don't see a potential relationship with this young lady I'd steer clear.

 

[kiwis29]

I once had a friend about 12 years ago whom I loved very much. I had known him since I was in the fourth grade. He was four years older than me and I was infatuated. As I got older our friendship developed into something more without sex. I dated him on and off all through h/s. I was a freshman in H/S he was a senior. When he graduated we still dated on and off..I guess only when he came home during the school year and all thru the summer. I truly loved this man..I did not sleep with him until my senior year in h/s..It was fantastic. Probably the best sex I have ever had. After I graduated from H/S we still kept in touch. Him mostly thru my parents. My parents loved him and I know to this day my dad still wishes I would have married him. Sometimes I think of him often. When we had sex it did not ruin our friendship. It made it really strong actually. He pursued me for a couple of years after I graduated but I ended fucking up my life with this big huge loser. Anyways, to make a long story short he is married and living somewhere in Montana and I am married with three kids and living somewhere in Wyoming..I think about him often...HHHmmm wish I could talk to him for old times sake. But to answer your ? now that I have gone off on a tangent, it did not ruin our friendship..As I said before it made it really strong though only for a couple of years. He still is the most awesome person that ever walked into my life. It makes me cry knowing he walked out of my life. How I screwed that one up. I say go for it. You never know it could be the best thing that ever happens to you...Goodluck and let us know what happens!!!

 

[zkz]

Well, how do YOU feel about her? Are you sexually attracted to her? Do you think a relationship would work out?

Quite sexualy attracted to her, we have talked and we have both made it clear that we dont want to be a couple.

 

[coppertop429]

Quite sexualy attracted to her, we have talked and we have both made it clear that we dont want to be a couple.

Have you guys talked about what would happen if one of you started dating? Or are you both dating right now?

I'm not sure whether or not I think it's a good idea, I keep wavering back and forth, but I'd guess that it really just depends (you know, the "everything is relative" kind of deal).

If you decide to bring sex into the relationship, make sure you set rules about things like dating and what happens if there's an emotional attachment. I guess the best way to try and prevent a problem (besides ignoring her request) is to keep the channels of communication wide open; make sure you're never embarrassed to talk with her about something.

Also, have you done (or considered doing) any other sexual activities with her before sex? You say she's "played around"...maybe you guys should work up to it. Either way, keep talking to her!

 

[pussicat]

I had a very very close guy friend and one day we decided to take it a little further and explore some other stuff We weren't really dating but we messed around quite a bit and stayed friends. And all was wonderful I could talk to him just like before, to go to him when I needed to talk etc... and when I was feeling alittle horny I could go to him to

But the problem was I met someone I actually cared about in a romantic way ending our fun ofcourse. It made things ackward between us at first. We were used to going farther then friends and when he would try to without really thinking it put me on edge and made me pull back and avoid him. Then we ended up getting into a huge fight where he told me he had feelings for me this whole time which now I think about I should of realized but at the time I didn't. He was so hurt and mad at me and because of this bond we had he did expect me to leave my boyfriend and get together with him, but I didn't because even though I did care for him it wasn't in that way. Ugh I am such a bitch ;(


Anyways we stopped talking I haven't heard from him in forever. And to make matters worse this has happened to me more then once ;( Ok well no one else has really cared for me like that but I have had friends with benefits who no longer could be my friend after I met someone and the fun stopped. Please don't think I am a horrible person it was a long time ago I was young and very niave ;(

But my point is if you open that box you will never be able to stuff it all back in and put it away. Sex does create some sort of bond between people. You really have to think if it is possible for one of you to develop more then jsut friendly feelings for the other. Which is fine if you both did but what if it was just one of you? Or what will happen when she meets someone or when you do?


Just my advice I probably would of gone for it though lol. Just remember you have to live with your choices.

 

[NaiveOne]

So is it even important to you to remain friends post-sexual relations if it feels weird?

I mean, are you and her really good friends and you would hate to ruin that in the future? Or is she just a buddy who you are attracted to?

And be honest.

 

[strgzr1230]

It has been my experience that the friends with benefits thing was a heartbreaker.... Works for a few but usually someone (in my case,me) winds up getting hurt. And I really am open minded and thought I could handle it.... Didn't handle it at all!

PS... Sounds like you are thoughtful enough to make the first time special all on your own.

 

[spedjeep]

while there may be a certain comfort to be found in having your first time be with a friend, the person knows you, you have a comfortable history together outside of the sex, you trust them etc. etc. I am loath to say this is a good idea.
Friendship, even longlasting deep friendship, is always complicated by sex, sometimes even destroyed. I do know whereof I speak on this, having among my sexual partners a man who is undoubtedly my most darling and cherished friend. It adds a new dimension to the existing relationship whether you want it to or not and you both need to think about that before you jump into anything. Sexual intimacy complicates the way you relate to each other and you should see if your friendship can withstand that. Add to the mix the fact that this will be the introductory sexual experience for both of you and I say you have a recipie for disaster.

Yes, I do think that lovers should be friends whenever possible, but I prefere to be intimate with a person I like. If you don't think you'll be able to go back to being " friends" and don't see a potential relationship with this young lady I'd steer clear.

You do?
Speaking of which I think I am looking forward to a story about a dream you had.

 

[Mskey]

You do?
Speaking of which I think I am looking forward to a story about a dream you had.

thread hijacker!!! You're awful!

Dream details will be forthcoming in a PM soon!

 

[dirtracin24]

i slept with my friend and now we live togther it worked for me