Emhdtats
Professional Voyeur
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2012
- Posts
- 2,097
Hello. I’m hoping someone would be interested in providing a fresh set of eyes and a robust critique. I’ve had two short pieces posted here, but this one is quite a bit longer.
It began as bespoke sketch of a religiously conservative wife finding her wild and wanton side. In the time since, it’s evolved a bit, and has grown to just under 11,000 words. The core is the same, a deeply devout woman whose world is shaken through ownership and training of sorts.
I’d greatly appreciate critical insights regarding flow, whether and how to break it up, mechanical points (I’ve re-read it to the point I just can’t “see” it any more) and whether it calls for too much suspension of disbelief. Any other comments and suggestions would be appreciated.
Thanks in advance for reading this request, and for any one who can pitch in.
It began as bespoke sketch of a religiously conservative wife finding her wild and wanton side. In the time since, it’s evolved a bit, and has grown to just under 11,000 words. The core is the same, a deeply devout woman whose world is shaken through ownership and training of sorts.
I’d greatly appreciate critical insights regarding flow, whether and how to break it up, mechanical points (I’ve re-read it to the point I just can’t “see” it any more) and whether it calls for too much suspension of disbelief. Any other comments and suggestions would be appreciated.
Thanks in advance for reading this request, and for any one who can pitch in.
