G
Guest
Guest
Forum Etiquette Question
I am, no doubt, going to phrase this badly and verbously, being all extemporaneous and shit, but here goes. Forgive me my convolutedness, typos, and split infinitives.
I'm fairly new to the forums and have found them complex and interesting on many levels. I read posts, explore threads, and check out profiles. I stick in my two cents here and there as whim moves me. I get interested in the people who also post. Certain people, for whatever reason or no reason at all, seem more interesting than others, and I think I'd like to talk to them.
However, I'm also very conscious of the tricky nature of these virtual environs. It is quite easy to be misinterpreted. For someone with my tendency to overthink everything, trying to open a conversation via private message with someone who has not really addressed or been addressed within a forum thread is is tantamount to asking the popular, beautiful stranger at the bar to go on a a date AND loan you money when you KNOW there's a giant zit on your face. It's just not done.
Just wondering about someone and pondering what fascinating stuff might roll out of a conversation is tormenting. Nothing ventured, nothing gained and all that. I mean, I could learn something, I could make a friend, I could have a lot of online fun, I might even make a connection. It's hard to pass by that kind of potential
My motives are (more or less) pure. I'm married and monogamous, my husband knows I'm here (he's around here, too) and I'm quite aware of the difference between words on a screen and actions away from a computer. Yet if I succumb to the temptation to send a PM to someone who has no idea who I am or what I'm about, it feels like creepy stalker behavior. I've gotten a few messages out of the blue like that, and it always feels a little odd to me -- I reply politely and try not to assume anything, but I still wonder what that person wants (few actually say). I post this here because I've found that I'm only good with other people if I'm very direct. The subtle clues of social interaction pass me by on my own. I always need someone who has a clue to help me along.
There's bound to be some manner of unspoken or "just understood" rules about this. Yes, I know about being polite and respectful. It might be that it just takes time, but I'm still interested in knowing how other people handle both sides of this little equation.
So, here's the actual question, directed at those of long forum experience. Is there a forum etiquette for contacting people you think are interesting from their forum posts? How do you handle messages sent to you from people you don't know? How do you make contact with people you think might be interesting but don't know you?
I am, no doubt, going to phrase this badly and verbously, being all extemporaneous and shit, but here goes. Forgive me my convolutedness, typos, and split infinitives.
I'm fairly new to the forums and have found them complex and interesting on many levels. I read posts, explore threads, and check out profiles. I stick in my two cents here and there as whim moves me. I get interested in the people who also post. Certain people, for whatever reason or no reason at all, seem more interesting than others, and I think I'd like to talk to them.
However, I'm also very conscious of the tricky nature of these virtual environs. It is quite easy to be misinterpreted. For someone with my tendency to overthink everything, trying to open a conversation via private message with someone who has not really addressed or been addressed within a forum thread is is tantamount to asking the popular, beautiful stranger at the bar to go on a a date AND loan you money when you KNOW there's a giant zit on your face. It's just not done.
Just wondering about someone and pondering what fascinating stuff might roll out of a conversation is tormenting. Nothing ventured, nothing gained and all that. I mean, I could learn something, I could make a friend, I could have a lot of online fun, I might even make a connection. It's hard to pass by that kind of potential
My motives are (more or less) pure. I'm married and monogamous, my husband knows I'm here (he's around here, too) and I'm quite aware of the difference between words on a screen and actions away from a computer. Yet if I succumb to the temptation to send a PM to someone who has no idea who I am or what I'm about, it feels like creepy stalker behavior. I've gotten a few messages out of the blue like that, and it always feels a little odd to me -- I reply politely and try not to assume anything, but I still wonder what that person wants (few actually say). I post this here because I've found that I'm only good with other people if I'm very direct. The subtle clues of social interaction pass me by on my own. I always need someone who has a clue to help me along.
There's bound to be some manner of unspoken or "just understood" rules about this. Yes, I know about being polite and respectful. It might be that it just takes time, but I'm still interested in knowing how other people handle both sides of this little equation.
So, here's the actual question, directed at those of long forum experience. Is there a forum etiquette for contacting people you think are interesting from their forum posts? How do you handle messages sent to you from people you don't know? How do you make contact with people you think might be interesting but don't know you?
Last edited by a moderator:
.
