Forced Feminization - I feel negative about it - help me understand the appeal

[eroticspank]

Sub male perspective:

I've never liked the idea of anybody ever truly forcing somebody to do something, regardless of whether they're comfortable with it or not.

I've liked the idea of CDing for years, the allure for me is in no way related to being portrayed as some kind of weak and hapless thing, rather it's like an offshoot of doing anything taboo that one doesn't have a personal qualm with; just the gorgeous catharsis of 1) Rebelling against the system! 2) Experiencing something new and unfamiliar and especially feeling new sensations which one has the all-important illusion of having no control over. E.g My brain finds a strong sensational similarity between the feeling of tights and being brushed by light touches when restrained.

Your words above make me think of being "forced" to eat your own cum.

I know this may be a stretch for some, but here are a few thoughts:

1. For some guys eating their own cum may seem "weak" and if made to do so would find it humiliating.
2. Similar to 2 above, experiencing something new and unfamiliar, doing something that is certainly taboo, as well as not masculine.
3. Women do it all the time, why not a man do it or just try it to see what it is like? (This could apply to women's clothes too)
4. It is not an easy thing to get your typical guy to try it, so to actually get him to do it, he would need to be encouraged, or gently forced as it losing a bet, telling him he is weak, etc.

I guess my point is there are several things out there that an adventurous woman can get her guy to try out expanding the couples' horizon of adult fun. It is fun to occasionally try new things explore new boundaries and having a lady that is willing to push that envelope is really nice I feel.

So it is very important that the woman enjoy the control part, taking over and making him do it. The key is for the woman to find enjoyment in it. Just telling him to put on panties with a bored look in your eye will go over like a lead balloon. The women I know that like taking control and role playing at forcing the guy, enjoy the reactions they get from the male sub. The look of surprise when he tastes his own cum, or even the suggestion of it. For those women who have not tried but are with a partner you know that does like it, try issuing an order or two just to see his reaction. You may be pleasantly surprised and turned on by his reaction.


ES

 

[t_platz4]

Always hard to explain the appeal of anything sexual

First off, what a fascinating discussion. Usually these threads devolve into name calling. It's refreshing to see an adult conversation about an adult game.

I am one of those men who likes this, and as a partner once said to me "don't waste so much time trying to figure out why you like something. Just enjoy it."

But I can't help picking at that scab, and I kinda want my say as well.

So, for me, forced just means I want the illusion that control has been removed from me. This is not for any gender political reason. It's just exciting to not know what is around the bend. Sometimes routine can be a drag, even in sex.

The forced part gives me the sense that she is into it as well. As someone else noted, there is nothing more deflating than to find someone is merely putting in time and putting up with your kink. That is the fear and reality of "humiliation".

If I've put myself in a situation where I want to be dressed up in panties, it is NEVER because I think women are a weaker sex. Maybe that is for others. But it is certainly not the way I was raised. I'm always a little taken back that from the generation that learnt from the Free to Be You and Me book and video, we still have men and women stuck on gender stereotypes.

I digress.

I'm not the always sort of kinkster, or even the all the time sub. I just like a little adventure now and again... but I don't like being made out as some sort of a freakish pervert. I know female clothes aren't going to look good on me. It's how I feel in them, and how they make me feel submissive, not because they are women's clothes... because they are sexy in the first place.

Really, terms like "forced" and "humiliation" are rather difficult in this world. They fit in context, but are problematic. And I'd hate to delve too deeply into my mind and determine why I like something. I can't explain exactly why I like spicy foods and others can't stand them.

I've probably over explained and over shared.

 

[TeasedToTears]

I think it is always difficult to wrap your head around someone else's kink when you don't share it, especially when it is one of the more extreme or less accepted ones. For me, forced feminization has no negative connotations toward women or femininity at all, but rather is an exercise in emasculation and humiliation of me and an element of power exchange in my relationship.

I think the most important distinction for all fetishes, especially the edgier ones, is the difference between content and context. I see nothing inherently humiliating about wearing panties, whether a woman is wearing them or a man is. However, in the context of a power exchange relationship for me, a woman telling me to wear panties or forcing me to, feels extremely humiliating.

Why?

In part because it emphasizes our power dynamic and in the context of our relationship, it has a shared meaning of emasculation, control, and humiliation. That has zero bearing on anyone else's relationship or on society, culture, or the world of BDSM.

So for me, being forced to wear panties affects me deeply in ways I both enjoy and struggle with. The power of it has nothing to do with the item and everything to do with the relationship we share and meaning we, together, give the item. Of course the items we attach fetishes too are usually culturally loaded and bring meaning and significance with them. That is part of why we choose them. But for me, the meaning is much more personal than it is cultural.

But for me it doesn't say anything negative about women, it is only a tool to be used to take something valuable to me (my masculinity) away from me and to please her, amuse her, or put me in a particular head space where she wants me to be.

 

[eroticspank]

But for me it doesn't say anything negative about women, it is only a tool to be used to take something valuable to me (my masculinity) away from me and to please her, amuse her, or put me in a particular head space where she wants me to be.

This discussion has gone so well with wonderful points from everyone. In particular this above is a great point I feel. In the "scene" when we are playing, yes she is "taking" my masculinity away for a bit. However at the same time, I am giving it up. I am doing that for her amusement and pleasure. I would not do that for just anyone, only my Domme, wife, or significant other. Yes it is forced but I could leave or stop the process at any time. I am staying because she is amused, finds it enjoyable and because of that I do too. They say submission is a gift and I do believe that to be true.

As mentioned above, part of the enjoyment of this for her is the head-space it puts me in as a male sub wearing lingerie. It is similar to having a woman play with me under the table at a restaurant. That is the kind of thing that I would feel very weird asking my gf to do for me. It has to be spontaneous, done by her and for her enjoyment of my reactions, and there is a lot of head-space stuff too.

ES

 

[stickygirl]

Let me say first off, I don't role play like this *yawn* From what I can work out, the clothes are like a game actors play with masks

Actors take a long hard look at themselves in the mirror and take on elements of the character they see. We each have masculine and feminine traits and role play allows us to act out in the safe context of the game. A man can stop having to be the 'boy that doesn't cry' and the woman can, for a short time, imagine having the upper hand . I think there are elements of mother fear too, of going back to a defenseless state where mother was all-powerful, able to give pleasure or pain.

As for the fetish cross-dressing... could it be a way of projecting how you wish women could be: always horny, never confusing? Perhaps wanting to be a horny-slut because it's how you imagine you would be if you had that magical wand transform you for one-night-only? Why is it that women seldom get horny or fixated by wearing men's clothes?

Men have always been top-dog and the flow of power is from them downward ( yes downward ). Playing the role of a woman is a luxury men can indulge themselves in because they know in the morning, they can switch back out of it.

Anyway - there's some slightly random thunks

 

[Scentofawoman]

I feel "forced feminization" is more of a porn thing. As I get out into the lifestyle I see there is more acceptance of gender fluidity.