For Those Who Sometimes Like to Play Off board...

[braincum]

You must have pissed these folks off already, so why do you care what they think?

 

[plasticman33]

I would just go for broke and jump right in, meet up, if it works, great, if not...oh well! Nothing ventured nothing gained.

I think there's an echo in here.

 

[Spence99]

Will somebody please answer my "alt" question?

What the hell is an "alt?"

 

[capricious_chic]

Do you just go for broke and jump right in?

Or do you prefer to spend some "chatting to know you" time first?

It just depends on the person and the vibe I get from them. I have done both.

What if the person is brand new or not real new but hasn't posted much?

I tend to be leery of new people. The one time I did take the time to get to know someone newish bit me in the ass. I'm a very private person. Things that happen off line should stay off line. He obviously doesn't feel the same way and I've had a few people tell me that my name gets brought up.

What if you suspect they are an alt of someone you do know?

I don't do head games.

How do YOU handle such situations generally?

Typically, anyone I would want to meet I have already cultivated some form of friendship with. I would have no desire to meet someone just for play/sex. I would have to like them as a person as well as trust that off line information and deeds would stay that way. The people I have met are awesome people in general. That's not to say that play wasn't involved - only that it wouldn't be enough of a reason to want to meet someone.

 

[poppy1963]

Play off the board? You mean like literoti or something?

Yes...what else would I mean?

Play = Take flirting to a more intimate level such as cybering or phone sex.

Clear now?

 

[capricious_chic]

Will somebody please answer my "alt" question?

What the hell is an "alt?"

As it is used here - it is a second (or more) user name for someone you know.

 

[Aliea]

Poppy I hope you get the psychological help you need.

 

[Jennifer Kaye]

Ok...I've recently "met" a couple of gentlemen that I like on first impression and have an attraction to in ways. It got me wondering what kind of criteria
other people have for deciding if they are going to "play" off board with someone else.

Do you just go for broke and jump right in?

Or do you prefer to spend some "chatting to know you" time first?

What if the person is brand new or not real new but hasn't posted much?

What if you suspect they are an alt of someone you do know?

How do YOU handle such situations generally?
]
THE POLL IS MULTIPLE CHOICE.

By "off board", do you mean in real life or are you simply meaning away from Lit, say instant messaging or exchanging emails?

 

[capricious_chic]

Yes...what else would I mean?

Play = Take flirting to a more intimate level such as cybering or phone sex.

Clear now?

Oh hell. I thought you meant in r/l - like live and in person.

Cybering and phone sex aren't all that intimate unless you've actually had sex with the person.

 

[Spence99]

As it is used here - it is a second (or more) user name for someone you know.

A second user name? You mean, if I joined with a different name? And had two accounts, or whatever they're called here?

What's the point? I think I get it now. Somebody has been here awhile and is worried a new person they're chatting with might be some asshole from past chatting fucking with them.

Thanks capricious! You're the best!

 

[poppy1963]

Will somebody please answer my "alt" question?

What the hell is an "alt?"

I am sorry Spence. An alt is an "alternative identity" of a known poster on the Board. They register under a new name and post like they are someone else. People have many reasons for doing this...some just want a new start but some use it for dastardly deeds to trick others or be nasty without it being attributed to their known ID.

 

[Spence99]

Poppy I hope you get the psychological help you need.

Same to you!

 

[capricious_chic]

A second user name? You mean, if I joined with a different name? And had two accounts, or whatever they're called here?

What's the point? I think I get it now. Somebody has been here awhile and is worried a new person they're chatting with might be some asshole from past chatting fucking with them.

Thanks capricious! You're the best!

You're welcome.

Yes, usually an alt is made/used for not so great reasons.

 

[Spence99]

I am sorry Spence. An alt is an "alternative identity" of a known poster on the Board. They register under a new name and post like they are someone else. People have many reasons for doing this...some just want a new start but some use it for dastardly deeds to trick others or be nasty without it being attributed to their known ID.

I understand that. It's one of the reasons my yahoo and hotmail information is included in my profile. I figured that would prove I'm my own person. Or whatever.

This place is way more complex than I ever thought.

 

[Jennifer Kaye]

I knew this topic would meet with some discomfort and nastiness...but oh well. We all have our individual inhibitions to deal with.

I just became curious to see how others decide on whether or not to take a chance with someone.

I haven't yet read all of your thread (just up to your post as quoted), but I think the thread as posed is a fair question to ask and on it's own merits, there is nothing here that would justify a troll attack, imho. I view such behaviour is immature beyond belief.

Anyway, back ON topic, I will read the rest of the thread and then perhaps comment.

 

[Spence99]

You're welcome.

Yes, usually an alt is made/used for not so great reasons.

I get it now. It's clicking with me. Especially seeing the nasty comments directed at poppy. Some people in here don't like each other much. That might lead them to do nasty things like that.

Thanks for the explanation.

 

[poppy1963]

Oh hell. I thought you meant in r/l - like live and in person.

Cybering and phone sex aren't all that intimate unless you've actually had sex with the person.

Well that may be true for you...but a lot of people do these things online only...for various reasons. The risks you detail are very real though!

 

[poppy1963]

I haven't yet all of your thread (just up to your post as quoted), but I think this is a fair question to ask and on it's own merits, there is nothing here that would justify a troll attack, imho. I view such behaviour is immature beyond belief.

Anyway, back ON topic, I will read the rest of the thread and then perhaps comment.

Yes. The trolls must be bored today...perhaps they should try to play some more.

 

[bronzeage]

Yes...what else would I mean?

Play = Take flirting to a more intimate level such as cybering or phone sex.

Clear now?

No, I never do that. Look at all the profiles that say "NO CYBER". I think it pisses them off.

I would put "NO CYBER" in my profile too, but I've never been asked.

 

[Jennifer Kaye]

Do you just go for broke and jump right in?

If I like them, sure, why not.

Or do you prefer to spend some "chatting to know you" time first?

When it comes to pm, I tend not to bother being all that engaging with perfect strangers. I am more apt to chat with people if I know them ... especially when overly work busy, which is far too often.

What if the person is brand new or not real new but hasn't posted much?

Generally speaking, I don't pay much attention to post counts. If the person seems off, though, then I look and if they have few, I will be wary of them simply being an alt.

What if you suspect they are an alt of someone you do know?

Though I will be wary of alts, I don't much care one way or the other, as long as the person is nice. If they're not nice, then I am usually not interested. If I become aware that a person is merely an alt of another, though, I'd prefer to simply converse with the "real" person, not the alt.

How do YOU handle such situations generally?

I just try to be a nice person, period.

 

[Jennifer Kaye]

Yes. The trolls must be bored today...perhaps they should try to play some more.

They should, but sadly, I don't think being light and merry is their thing.

 

[katiebarthedoor]

i usually play a zone D, wich is good off the board. easier rebounds than man-to-man.

*chuckle, snort*

 

[Jennifer Kaye]

No, I never do that. Look at all the profiles that say "NO CYBER". I think it pisses them off.

I would put "NO CYBER" in my profile too, but I've never been asked.

Would you like to "cyber"?

 

[bronzeage]

Would you like to "cyber"?

Can you cyber on the board? Isn't that when people start to yell, "get a chatroom"

 

[capricious_chic]

Well that may be true for you...but a lot of people do these things online only...for various reasons. The risks you detail are very real though!

I really don't put much thought or worry into off board communications. I don't have identifying information in YIM or on Lit - so there is no harm. I used to have my yahoo in profile and took it out because I kept getting random IM's from men overseas that wanted to get married. Plenty of people have my phone number.

I guess I'm confused as to what the issue is if it is an on line only thing.