For submissives who have posted personal ads on the web

WriterDom

Good to the last drop
Joined
Jun 25, 2000
Posts
20,077
There is a lot of discussion about what doesn't work and what you hate. But what kind of response gets your attention? Have you ever fought over the right words with trembling fingers hoping he returns your mail? Or are you very cautious and guarded? Could a "line" ever work on you? There are a lot of complaints about the Dom having a too heavy handed approach. But what do you think about responses that aren't Domly enough? How much weight do you put on appearances if he has a pic up? Do you ever approach a Dom first?
 
WriterDom said:
There is a lot of discussion about what doesn't work and what you hate. But what kind of response gets your attention?
The responses that get my attention are polite and respectful from someone who makes it clear he wants to get to know me. I'm looking for maturity, intelligence and a sense of humor. Good grammar and the ability to form coherent sentences help also.

Have you ever fought over the right words with trembling fingers hoping he returns your mail? Sure I have.

Or are you very cautious and guarded? Could a "line" ever work on you? I'm pretty cautious. A line won't work early on. There has to be conversation for a while. After I know him better, lines can be a fun way to flirt a little. Initially, they're a turn off.

There are a lot of complaints about the Dom having a too heavy handed approach. But what do you think about responses that aren't Domly enough?
I have to like him as a person first, then as a Dom so I'm not looking for "Domly responses" until I get to know him better.

How much weight do you put on appearances if he has a pic up?
I put very little weight in appearances... esp in terms of pics. Not everyone photographs well. I do look for basic hygiene and signs that he takes pride in his appearance. i.e. no food stains on his shirt or green teeth. Yuk.

Do you ever approach a Dom first?
Yes, but not often. I like being approached and/or pursued.
 
WriterDom said:
There is a lot of discussion about what doesn't work and what you hate. But what kind of response gets your attention?

Responses that are respectful, tells me what they are looking for up front, with a bit of humor thrown in. (not a lot, just a little comic relief) As I am a writer, albeit as a hobby, he absolutely must be able to put together a sentence and spell. Anyone who uses "u" or "b4" is out automatically.

Have you ever fought over the right words with trembling fingers hoping he returns your mail?

Absolutely, every time I formulate a response. Even over those responses where I'm turning some one down, as I do not want to cause hard feelings.

Or are you very cautious and guarded?

Initally, I'm very cautious and guarded. After all, some man I've never met wants to initiate some sort of contact. Just as I must show him I'm not "psycho bitch", he must prove his true personality (or a bit of it, anyway) before we meet.

Could a "line" ever work on you?

I would like to say "no", but I can't do that honestly. I'm a sucker for jokes - even bad ones. If a man can make me laugh, he's halfway home. Typical lines I can pretty much see through. But if a man starts in with humor, chances are, I'll break down and at least meet him.

There are a lot of complaints about the Dom having a too heavy handed approach. But what do you think about responses that aren't Domly enough?

I would rather have a response that isn't "Domly enough" than those that are too overhanded. A man who is responding by not being "Domly" shows me he is willing to be my equal on occasion for purposes of discussion. He understands that "On your knees now, slut" does not exactly harbor feelings of trust. On the other hand, if a man expects me to make all the decsions, I will usually not allow a meeting. There has to be a balance, in opinion.

How much weight do you put on appearances if he has a pic up?

Lately it seems as most men on alt.com are concerned about sending their pics along with their responses. I appreciate that, as my pic is already veiwable. While I don't set a lot of weight on pictures, as most people will certainly send one that they think is the most flattering, a man who won't include his pic rarely receives a response from me. Why? Simple. I've posted my pic very publically - it's out there for all to see. HE already knows what I look like. I think a considerate thing to do is to at least show me what he looks like.

Do you ever approach a Dom first?[/B]

No, never. Unless it is some one I need to ask a specific question from. But I do not contact Doms for meetings, etc.
 
think I'll jump into this one...

WriterDom said:
There is a lot of discussion about what doesn't work and what you hate. But what kind of response gets your attention?

I've posted an ad just once (and that was only to be given the privilege of snooping around other people's ads, I'm kind of a personal ad voyeur) but I know which responses caught my attention, favorably and otherwise.
Favorably, humor and not taking oneself too seriously are BIG pluses. The ability to put together a coherent sentence is also a good thing but don't try to dazzle me with semantics, be natural. Responses not being "Domly enough" is not even an issue, as any displays of dominance in initial correspondences would be regarded by me as premature. (You're not my Dom until you've got the job. I already know you've got the dominant genes because you replied to my ad -you don't have to prove it.) Initially, I would expect some getting to know each other on equal turf. If the personalities mesh, I believe we would slide naturally into a D/s relationship.

Have you ever fought over the right words with trembling fingers hoping he returns your mail?

Not really. Because of the ratio of male to female kinky personal ads, chances are pretty good he'll respond even if my e mail suggests that I may not be the brightest light in the pack.

Could a "line" ever work on you?

Don't know. What's a line? (Uh oh, I guess that means a line could easily work on me, right?)

How much weight do you put on appearances if he has a pic up?

None. As long as it's tasteful (oh yeah, and he looks clean). I don't think the body part shots or nude pictures are appropriate right off the bat. That's too much information. Someone mentioned the tendancy to send the most flattering picture -- I know she's right, but I never understood this reasoning. Wouldn't it make more sense to send a less flattering photo so that when you finally meet the person (which is the goal, right?), she will be pleasantly surprised rather than disappointed?
 
for subs who have posted

I have never had a personal ad up at Lit,however I did have one at yahoo personals before and was swamped with responses!

I approached my Master after great coaxing from my Sis and good friend,Angelofsex..she knew what I was looking for: a Master and just who would be right for me ,=Artful..to her,I owe the happiness and complete love I enjoy today..

pictures never meant that much however Master told me that His was posted on his profile at yahoo,so of course I had to go look and was pleasingly surprised when I did.He is strikingly handsome and it was His honesty and great sense of humor that captured me from the start..I believe myself ,that it was My persistance and earnest attempts to win His attention ,that captured Him as well.

intelligence and compassion are a 'must' for me also and He exhibited both in large quantities..His strength and "Dominance was shown to me as Real as it could be via the net..I felt IT tho..

am I cautious or 'guarded' ??-you betcha!I have been hurt way too manytimes before by very 'abusive' people in my past ,however with time and patience I plan to Know REALLY KNOW Artful better than any woman ever has..Thats important TO ME..

Master never had to use any lines on me ,nor did I on Him..being honest is whats important to us..I guess what cemented the deal for me was after our 1st phone call when he said' I already feel like I've been in heaven talking to an Angel,I wonder how it's gonna feel when i HOLD her in my arms? that melted me ..from then on He could ask anything of me at all,for i was 'captured and I never wanna lose that feeling..I KNEW He Meant those words and still does..



sometimes I feel He may be a bit 'heavy'handed but I also KNOW better ,it's just His awesome Control,that I dare not try to understand,I only know I need it,want it ,crave it..:rose::rose:
 
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Dream

Artful's dream said:


"I already feel like I've been in heaven talking to an Angel,I wonder how it's gonna feel when i HOLD her in my arms?"

*blush*,...and I was gonna market that line ^ in the Dom lounge to the highest bidder too.

I tried once to place an ad somewhere once,...forgot where it was,...but after I posted,...they sent me a message saying my description of myself, and what I what kind of person I wanted to meet didn't have enough words in it, that I would have to re-do it before it was accepted.

I HATE to type,...just not good at it,...it takes me *FOREVER* and a day to say,..."Hi!" So I never returned to the site. No biggie! Then some time later,...I got another email from the site,...welcoming me and,...Yadda Yadda Yadda. So it may still be out there in LIMBOLAND, somewhere. -LMAO
 
Re: Dream

artful said:


*blush*,...and I was gonna market that line ^ in the Dom lounge to the highest bidder too.

I tried once to place an ad somewhere once,...forgot where it was,...but after I posted,...they sent me a message saying my description of myself, and what I what kind of person I wanted to meet didn't have enough words in it, that I would have to re-do it before it was accepted.

I HATE to type,...just not good at it,...it takes me *FOREVER* and a day to say,..."Hi!" So I never returned to the site. No biggie! Then some time later,...I got another email from the site,...welcoming me and,...Yadda Yadda Yadda. So it may still be out there in LIMBOLAND, somewhere. -LMAO

Now THERE is a MAN after my own heart.

Maybe that is why Arts post are so DAMN good he has to take time to formulate them not just rattle something off on the keyboard.
 
WriterDom said:
There is a lot of discussion about what doesn't work and what you hate. But what kind of response gets your attention? Have you ever fought over the right words with trembling fingers hoping he returns your mail? Or are you very cautious and guarded? Could a "line" ever work on you? There are a lot of complaints about the Dom having a too heavy handed approach. But what do you think about responses that aren't Domly enough? How much weight do you put on appearances if he has a pic up? Do you ever approach a Dom first?

I have yet to get a response that caught my attention. Or at least, caught my attention in a good way. They guy in Japan who wanted to add me to his harem does stand out in my mind... and not in a good way. There were a few men who were way too old for me. One guy I did call thinking it might possibly work even though he had a few activities listed that scared me a little... Turns out he had NO idea what he was talking about or those activities actually were.

I am very cautious, but not so much guarded. I'm not going to jump head first into anything, get emotionally invested in something only to find out it's not right, or do something dangerous and stupid. But I will let someone know exactly what I'm looking for, what kind of person I am and really give them as much of an honest glimpse of what they're getting as possible. I see no reason to not be upfront from the beginning.

I have yet to hear a line... so I don't know. But I like to think that'd be a no.

Assuming that the non-Domly response is uttered by someone who seems to know what all the lifestyle entails and not someone who just wants a little kinky sex, I think I'd see that more of a sign of patience and not wanting to push things too fast. The kind of guy I'm looking for will somehow, magically, exude a Domly aura without any overt statements about how strong and capable he his. It will show in his financial life, his personal relationships, how he deals with life's little surprises...

Appearances are important. No denying that. He's got to be clean, professional, at least moderately in shape and not necessarily drop-dead gorgeous but not butt-ugly, either. I've seen some pics that are just... nerdy. And I'm thinking... you can't possibly have what it takes to Dominate me.

The only guy I'm corresponding with, (and hope to meet on Monday), is the one I picked out. I sifted through, literally, hundreds of ads and found one man who just.... had something special about him. I don't know what it was... there was something about his eyes. I'm much more comfortable picking out my partners rather than letting them approach me. (Yeah, still working on that control issue.)
 
WriterDom said:
There is a lot of discussion about what doesn't work and what you hate. But what kind of response gets your attention?

The responses guaranteed to get my attention are those that i can tell read my profile. Mentioning something i said, agreeing or disagreeing, tangible evidence that he took the time to read and comprehend.

WriterDom said:

Have you ever fought over the right words with trembling fingers hoping he returns your mail? Or are you very cautious and guarded? Could a "line" ever work on you?


I'm never satisfied with the words i use, i always feel there are huge gaping holes in the thoughts i'm trying to convey. I tend to be pretty cautious and guarded, always, in everything, but i'm honest enough with myself to know that the right "line" would work.


WriterDom said:
There are a lot of complaints about the Dom having a too heavy handed approach. But what do you think about responses that aren't Domly enough?


I don't categorize "Domliness" in responses. I look for evidence that my thoughts were given consideration, that the response isn't a "stock answer", that there is something unique to the interaction.

WriterDom said:
How much weight do you put on appearances if he has a pic up? Do you ever approach a Dom first?

I will glance at a pic if there is one there. It doesn't really enter into my thinking processes, though. I actually prefer that there not be a pic, i think it says something about the weight he places on appearances if a pic is there and the first thing requested of me.

So far, i haven't approached a Dom, but that could change if something made me really, insanely curious.
 
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